The Sun and the Rainfall
by Marcab
Summary: After a mission, Naruto brings back to the village an unconscious Sasuke, who wakes up to complete memory loss. That includes Naruto... but perhaps memories are not the most important element of a bond so deep. Shonen-ai. Naruto\Sasuke
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: I know, I know, this is not the oneshot I promised- BUT. I have a 10 page long DRAFT and I need a tiny break to figure out what I'm keeping and what I'm kicking over to Naruto's oneshot… because otherwise it will be inhumanly big. In the meantime, this story has been nagging in my head. It can be tied to T&E Universe- before Sasuke's oneshot, so it would be sometime within the first year after his probation is over- or not. For everyone who's reading this story first, part of the premise is that they already ARE together at this point… it's just not common knowledge in the Village. So there- enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. And Kishimoto might cringe at my ideas about his characters… I WILL comply with his, soon as he gets off whatever drugs he's on lately and starts making sense…

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Open Your Eyes_

There was obviously something wrong with that stupid clock on the wall- its hands dragged as though as each cog and gear that moved them had been worn out by ages of rust and wont. At least he had managed to move past the idea that they were actually moving backwards and that's why, no matter how long he had waited, nothing seemed to change. Resigning to that had also crushed his hope that maybe he could take it all back- go back to that moment and chose again.

Naruto buried his face in his palms for a moment, fingers clenching into strands of blonde hair, as his hands balled into fists. _This can't be happening…_ he thought to himself.

In actuality, it _had _happen, it _was _happening. His eyes confirmed that every time he'd look up at the hospital bed, covered in white linen, always stopping when the cotton border outlined the pale skin. His guilt couldn't carry his gaze any further, so it returned to the linen. _White_ was a vague enough term- nothing could really entirely dissolve the pints of blood that had stained the once pristine sheets, leaving sickly sienna outlines of what used to be an unforgiving shade of red.

_Damn you, Sasuke… _he thought accusingly, squeezing his eyelids tightly shut, fighting back the tears that had been mercilessly stinging his eyes since he had found the raven lying almost lifeless, with a blade swinging down to his chest. If not for blind, honed instinct, he would have been too late to counter the blow. If his body hadn't moved before his mind had processed the scene before his eyes, he would have surely frozen in place. Because, unlike what everyone thought, he wasn't the strong person who could survive anything, could move on no matter what- not when it came to Sasuke.

Once again his eyes once fell on the floor, where he spotted an ant climbing down the wall and onto the floor. The ant hurried about like it had a purpose- some grand scheme that its hurry would serve. Humans weren't too much unlike that ant most days- each of them rushing forth without realizing that a foot bigger than their existence could squash their puny, fragile lives any moment.

_I don't owe you anything._, he lied to himself, trying to be angry._ You liar… _

Yet the thought had bubbled up in pain, not anger. If he had been seconds late, it would have been over. Maybe it already was.

Sasuke's would-be killer had been run through and gushing blood before it all really had the chance to register in his mind- and yet he hadn't care about killing their target, had forgotten all about the mission, even as, by defending the Uchiha, he had succeeded in both. Kakashi had once told him that eventually his body would move on its own with deadly skill- and he had been right, as he had been about many other things over the years. He had hoisted Sasuke over his shoulder, feeling the pale boy's usually strong heartbeat shallow against his back, his body a terrifying deadweight that barely registered on Naruto's determined mind. Tsunade could deal with this- is what he had told himself- he just had to get there on time.

In retrospection it would have helped a great deal, if he had brought in the culprit as well, but he wasn't thinking- Sasuke was supposed to do the thinking. It was part of what made them such a formidable pair- with each of them complementing what the other was lacking. It was like that in everything, in every way. What wallowed inside him at the idea that this could be _it_- no more Sasuke- was pure despair. Something that powerful would never yield to a petty emotion like anger.

The Hokage- who hadn't uttered a word since she had started working on the Uchiha and barely even acknowledged the fact that he was even in the room- straightened her tired body with a wince. Perhaps she didn't look it, but age was catching up with her. "He seems to be okay." Tsunade's voice carried with a sigh. "Physically, at least."

Naruto's fraught eyes slowly blinked up at the older woman, whose wary phrasing hadn't escaped his attention. _Physically, at least. _"Just tell me he'll be alright, Baa-chan."

Tsunade's lips thinned, as her honey-colored eyes fell on the occupant of the bed once again. "I can't, gaki. Not yet." she said firmly, tempering her frustration for hours worth of work that had not provided more clear-cut results. "I'm unfamiliar with the seals for this kind of jutsu. Until I have more information…" she paused. "It's best to wait."

"Naruto…"

Sakura's voice was thick with concern. And why did it sounded like she was more concerned about him than her first love lying on the bed perfectly still and flawlessly pale? Maybe he shouldn't be quite that surprised that Sakura didn't sound like her world was about to fall apart around her- nor that neither her nor Tsunade seemed surprised at all that he had assumed that part. It was pathetic, how after all these years he still failed so miserably to temper his emotions. Sakura could understand better than anyone and had been there since the beginning. She also had faith in Tsunade's skill and Sasuke's ability to cope.

But she hadn't been _there _when it had all gone down, there was no way for her to really understand the helplessness he had experienced when Sasuke had gone down. It occurred to him that he too had bought into the famous image of _invincibility _that the Uchiha liked to project. It wasn't a conscious decision, so he couldn't remember making it, but he _should_ have known better. No one was invincible- not Orochimaru, not Itachi, not Pain… not even Jiraya or Tsunade.

_Not Sasuke._

Fighting and capturing a couple of renegade ninjas was pretty much routine in the world left behind by Orochimaru and the Akatsuki. They were relics of past experiments and attempts to enhance abilities or simply subjects of research-gone-wrong. The couple of ninjas that he and Sasuke had been tracking down had been reportedly camping in the borders to Suna and would remain stationary for weeks at a time. It was almost as though as they simply wanted to be forgotten by the world- and if it were up to Naruto, he'd be more than happy to oblige- but past experience had taught the Kages that powerful _issues_ like that could not be left _unattended_. And that's how they ended up fighting them, with Sasuke choosing the one that seemed to use some kind of genjutsu that he would _easily _counter with the Sharingan. That's what he had told him and Naruto had believed him- like he always would, unquestioningly. That's why he had never looked back until he was done- because he _trusted_ him.

Naruto's eyes finally set on Sasuke, dim and blank. "It wasn't genjutsu, was it?" he asked resignedly.

Tsunade shook her head. "No. As far as I can tell it's closer to the Yamanaka family's jutsu, but…" her lips thinned. "The process of trying to take over seems to cause actual physical damage to… the subject."

_To Sasuke. _"If it's physical, you can fix it, right?" Naruto pressed, blue eyes lighting with a wild tint the more he heard things he didn't like.

And Tsunade knew- she knew _him_ and she knew what Sasuke meant to him. Maybe. "I did what I could…" she replied tensely. "The brain is tricky… and unique. There's no one way to set it right- it's not a bone."

That was another thing he didn't want to hear- because it made his by-then fragile faith, that everything would be okay, waver. "He lied to me." he said quietly.

"Sasuke couldn't have known." Sakura defended her ex-teammate, ex-love interest, ex-idea of a romantic partner, ex-center of her Universe and everything in it.

All those things that Naruto was _current. _"Bullshit."Maybe being with Lee was having an effect on her and his naivety and good faith were contagious or maybe Sasuke's cynicism was finally catching up with him. "He _knew_, Sakura-chan. The Sharingan can spot and counter genjutsu. Maybe he didn't know what it _was_, but he knew what it _wasn't_."

"Then maybe he did it because you are stubborn and won't listen. Or maybe that was the only way to protect you." Tsunade said simply. "In any case, he was right. The Sharingan gives him an advantage over you in any technique that deals with the mind."

Naruto's jaw set. "Not enough of an advantage as it turns out."

The blonde woman sighed, allowing herself to settle on a metallic stool next by the bed. "There's no way to be certain about such a thing. The outcome of a fight can be determined by skill or just _luck_." She said matter-of-factly and slightly agitated at his usual stubbornness. "The fact is that Sasuke made the right call."

Cobalt blue eyes narrowed at the boy lying on the bed. It wasn't that simple. "The fact _is _that he lied to me and I seriously want to beat his ass for it." He said somewhat curtly, then scoffed a little, his voice breaking. "But if he opened his eyes right now, I'd forget all about it." He said quietly, almost like a promise to whatever Kami was willing to listen, as terror started to crawl inside his heart. "That's the best deal you'll get out of me, Teme." He said, one hand clenching at the bed rail, the other shielding his moist eyes as he forced the crack out of his voice. "Just please open your eyes…"

A moment went by that neither Tsunade, nor Sakura spoke up. Maybe they didn't know what to say or maybe they understood his feelings too well. Whatever the case, Tsunade touched Sakura's arm- a signal to exit the room- and started to rise from her post to give him some privacy- because what he felt for Sasuke was _quite_ private- when a soft groan drew everyone's attention to the bed. No one spoke, holding their breaths almost as if their hope was like a fickle, newborn flame that would not survive that very vital need to exhale.

Dark eyelids fluttered open. It took another groan of complaint at the artificial brightness and an arm to come up over his eyes defensively for Sakura to rush over to the wall and flip a couple of switches, dimming the light in the room. They all watched with baited breath as Sasuke lowered his arms and blinked at his surroundings. And there- just like that- those beautiful eyes had come to life, the pale chest rose and fell with a deep breath that escaped through parted lips.

Naruto released a ragged breath at the familiar troubled expression on the raven's face. More than likely he recalled very little after that attack- if anything at all. There should be a huge gap in his mind in the form of a throbbing headache. "… Sasuke..?" his voice oozed with emotion that he couldn't contain.

There was no smartass remark, no assuring smile responding to that emotion. The good vibes that had filled the room slowly shifted back to concern the longer that the Uchiha didn't speak and only increased at the alarm and confusion registering on his expression the more his eyes surveyed the room and himself.

Naruto inched closer, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder, drawing his focus on him. "Sasuke… what's wrong, Teme- you're scaring me." He said, forcing a nervous smile.

Sasuke's beautiful charcoal eyes looked back expressionlessly, moving from the tan hand to Naruto's worried face. A frown creased his brows. "Who are you?"

The world seemed to crack and shatter all around him under the new wave of dread. The question broke his heart. Never in a thousand years had he thought it possible that either of them could _forget_. Regret it- maybe- cherish it- hopefully- but not just forget. There had to be something deeper than memories that recognized someone precious, an instinctive feeling of being safe- of coming home. Even before he and Sasuke had ever exchanged a word between them, they had never been _strangers._ And yet those bottomless eyes, that he considered the most splendid thing on this earth, told him all too clearly.

All he saw, as his most important person looked back at him, was oblivion.

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That's chapter one. HUGE departure from my mammoth chapters, huh? Here's hoping I can write something shorter…

Ja!

M.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: It's chapter 2 already… man, that's the fastest I've ever updated… I think. ^.^ Thank you guys for reading, extra thanks to my reviewers. You guys make this fun and rock my world as ever. Tons of love!

My anonymous readers: **randomness**- Thank you so much! Happy you enjoyed it and here's the update. ^.^ **Kakashi's Dog-** Look at you, still without an account. ;-) I AM working on the oneshot- honest. It's just exhausting having a mind that can't do short. This is a story I wanted to write but also a good exercise.. I hope. I'm glad you like it! **Toi&moi**- Yeah, this is my second cliffhanger in… any story. LOL Here's the update, hope it was soon enough. :o)

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, don't waste money suing.__

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_It's not Me_

No one could fathom the experience of waking to nothingness. Opening eyes that might have been closed forever before that moment, moving muscles that he had no recollection of ever having used before. That body of his, that he did not recognize, was punishing him for a transgression he did not recall, aching all over- inside and out- yet somehow he knew that it wasn't the worst he'd ever felt, knew that it wasn't a pain he'd allow himself to complain about. It wasn't clairvoyance, just an innate awareness of how to cope with each painful move. _Useless_… All of it, useless certainties and unusable information that did nothing to alleviate the panic that he was trying so hard to bridle.

The only thing that had felt _remotely_ less than absolutely alarming had been that warm hand that had closed around his shoulder, that tan face that had stared down at him with open concern. That same face had contorted to an expression of panic that almost mirrored his own when he had finally managed to find his voice. The boy's body seemed to have become suspended in a state of shock. The tan that had squeezed his shoulder with undemanding familiarity, now felt numb and lifeless by his neck, those blue eyes stared at him through a veil of dread.

_Who are you?_

It was a simple enough and perfectly honest question, but its vast impact on the blonde, whose hand hadn't moved from his shoulder, made him feel naïve. And _guilty_ for some reason. His eyes moved to the older woman and the pink haired girl, both of whom were staring at him as though as he had popped a second head. What did that reaction mean? Why was everyone so quiet and tense? Who _were_ those people?

The sickening silence made the room too thick to breathe, creating the perfect conditions of anxiety that would make his already bad case of nausea peek, and he suddenly turned to his side, emptying the contents of his stomach on the floor. That was precious now, wasn't it? His hand curls around the bed railing, trembling slightly as he tried to support his weight. It took him a moment to realize that the blonde had reached over, around his chest with his other hand, steadying him. The near-embrace he was finding himself encircled in was not at all intrusive, quite welcome and it thoroughly confused him.

_Who __**are **__you?_ His mind asked again as he looked up at those cobalt eyes that seemed guarded now. Without thinking he cupped the hand on his chest with his own- and withdrew it as quickly. _What the hell..? _"…Thanks." He said uncertainly.

"Try to breathe." The blonde said quietly, his poise not betraying anything about what he thought of his actions. He turned to the woman who was already walking over to join them. "Baa-chan..?"

"Aah… It could be a side-effect of the jutsu." She said an almost clinical tone, leaning in to check his eye movement, then called over her shoulder. "Sakura, go get someone to clean this mess."

"Hai…" the girl responded uncertainly, eyes darting to the blonde boy, before exiting the room hurriedly.

The woman picked up a thin stick and moved it within his field of vision. "Follow this." She instructed.

_Left_. _Right_. That was easy enough. _Left. Right. _Or it should have been, but he noticed that the other boy had not let go of him. _Left. Left… _He noticed that there was some sort of comfortable heat emanating from the stranger's body, almost curled against felt cared all messed with his reflexes quite thoroughly, as he didn't know what to make of what his body was telling him. _Damn_.

The woman probably noticed how his eyes kept flickering between the stick and the side of the other boy's face- on his _left_- because she paused. "I'll need the room, Naruto." She said a little more softly.

The blonde nodded and took a step back to leave the room- the warm arm retracting, the warm hand falling off his shoulder. He caught that hand, without thinking- again. It felt familiar. Had he done this in the past? The blonde looked at him curiously- and maybe hopefully. Who _was_ that guy?

In that moment that question became more important than who he was. "Who are you?" he heard himself repeat, feeling his brows crease with an emotion he could not explain. He felt as though as he was missing something important. More than his name, more than his life.

The question crushed whatever hope had shined in those eyes. "My name is Naruto." He replied resignedly.

Like the girl had done before, now the older woman's eyes watched the blonde with concern and sympathy. "Naruto is your friend and teammate." She said.

That didn't sound right. It sounded true, but it was _wrong_ somehow- inaccurate. And the blonde seemed to really want to get out of that room right about then. "Naruto…" he rolled the name in his mouth and found that just saying it gave him a form of relief. Who _was _that guy? Just hearing it had made the other boy close his eyes for a moment, then yank his hand away and moved away in heavy steps. "What is my name?"

Naruto paused at the door, but didn't turn around. "Sasuke." He said after a moment in a quiet voice. "You are Sasuke."

_You are._ Not 'your name is', it wasn't just a name. _Sasuke. _Just like that he had a name. Just like that he had been brought into existence. _Naruto _had made him real.

The older woman sighed as the door closed. "So… Sasuke." She started, retrieving a notepad from the nightstand beside his bed and calling his attention to her. "What is the last thing you remember?"

He frowned again, attempting to focus on answering her question. "I'm not sure… I-" then a bright light was flashed into his sensitive eyes. "Hey! Do you mind?"

The women ignored him as she scribbled down. "Pupil dilation supports that there's no actual neurological damage." She said mostly to herself.

"Maybe that was the case _before_ you shoved that flashlight in my face." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

The woman looked up from her notes with a wry smile. "Well, your _charming_ personality seems to be intact too. Kami help us."

Sasuke couldn't tell if she was joking. "And you would be…?"

"Tsunade. Your doctor and Hokage… _leader_ of this Village. Konoha." She said somewhat distractedly as she fished for something in a drawer. "Ah, here it is." She smiled threw a kunai at him that he caught with surprising ease. "Reflexes are fine too."

"What the hell is your problem?!" he roared, pissed off, as he pointed the kunai at her. "You could have killed me."

"Could I have?" she arched an amused brow. "Your body language is unchanged even as your memories have been suppressed. I am quite confident that your _skills_ are all there for you."

"How is that even possible?" he asked, intrigued in spite of himself. "I don't remember anything."

Tsunade set down her notes and faced him. "The body has its own memories. You've intercepted projectiles countless times in the past- your body just reacted. Same thing with _people_. You'll know who is close to you."

His mind conjured up the image of the pink haired girl. Then the blonde. His body had reacted to him. What kind of memories had _Naruto_ engraved in it to stir such an immediate reaction? "What happened to me?" he asked. "Why can't I remember anything?"

"You were attacked." She started to explain. "The person who attacked you affected your mind using a technique that I'm unfamiliar with. The plan is to research and reverse it."

Sasuke studied the sharp blade in his hands. "I see… What about my memories?"

She sighed. "As far as I can tell everything should be in there. There is no _known_ jutsu that would erase someone's mind without leaving them in a vegetated state." Her eyes darkened as though she had seen _that_ case in the past. "You should count yourself lucky… such people need to relearn everything from scratch- speak, walk… and they are never the same."

However grim the compared case, it didn't make him feel very thankful for his situation. "So how do I get my memories back?"

"That will be slightly more tricky…" she rested her fingers on her chin pensively. "I didn't expect you to wake up so soon… In fact, I had considered the possibility that you might not wake up at all."

Sasuke arched a brow. "I'm missing the downside to this."

"The shinobi who did this to you was strong enough to get to you, which means he got through your Sharingan…" there was an umdertone of incredulity in her voice. "That means that the jutsus was strong- stronger than the damage accounts for."

He remained quiet this time, because it appeared that the woman was simply thinking aloud again and he didn't want to interrupt any helpful train of thought. Nevermind that he had no idea what that Sharingan was. Nevermind that being amnesiac could possibly be considered a _small_ price to pay.

"There is another possibility. That the jutsu involved some form of geas." The frown over her eyes deepened. "Which would mean that if you did something that went against the sealing, there could be a secondary effect to this." Tsunade picked up her notes, flipping pages, her honey-colored eyes searching for something. "The most obvious trap would be letting someone else tell you about your past." Apparently, what she was looking for wasn't there, because she set the notes down again with a grim expression. "I could be wrong. There's no way to know until I am done with my research, but best be safe."

That was all nice and well, but about as useless as his certainties and all his observations. None of that helped him. "So, what do I do?" he asked hoping he didn't sound as vulnerable as he felt.

Tsunade gave him a sympathetic smile. "Spend time with people…. See if the memories surface on their own." She breathed in deeply, then rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly. "You'll need a guide…"

Words fell off his mouth before they had registered in his mouth. "What about… Naruto." He blurted.

Golden brows arched in surprise and then a small smile curved her lips. "Your instincts are also working fine, it seems."

And didn't that sound suspicious… "What is that supposed to mean?"

She shook her head. "Nothing bad, brat. You might actually get a kick out of this moment when you get your memory back." She sighed. "You'll need to rely on your instincts, not your reason or things you hear."

Not his _reason_? That woman could not be in her right mind. If not for his reason what did he have to go by? Did she even know how dangerous it was to rely on blind instinct without experience to temper it? He had no memories, but that was _common sense. _"Don't you mean _if_ I get my memory back?"

The question made her sympathetic smile waver- just a little, but he caught it. For all her comforting talk, she wasn't sure. "I'll get Naruto." She reached into the drawer and took out something else. "In the meantime, maybe you could use this."

What she handed him was a small mirror, which made him realize that he had no idea what he looked like. Sasuke's eyes followed her until she exited the room, before he brought the mirror up and stared at the face. A young man looked back, pale with black raven hair and charcoal eyes, whose name was Sasuke.

It felt as though as he had been holding his breath, because he exhaled raggedly soon as he attained the transient privacy of the hospital room, his warm breath blurring his image. Everything seemed surreal- nothing was quite _un_familiar but at the same time nothing was anything he could recall. His mind was blank and the only thing he knew for certain was that he felt naked and defenseless. Someone had wiped away the book of his life and left him hollow and bewildered.

It was impossible to grasp for who he might have actually been, but he knew- _knew_ deep inside- that this overwhelmed mass of flesh lying on the bed, quivering with shivers from emotions he could not name, was _not_ him. He wasn't weak like that, he wasn't lost, he wasn't helpless.

Slowly the shivers subsided, as much because he was too proud and stubborn- that much he _did_ know- to allow anyone to witness that moment that his strength was failing him, as because his mind had found a frail pivot for itself. He knew who he _wasn't_ and very soon he'd have a guide to _was_- one that seemed to be a very important piece of the puzzle that was currently his own self.

Why did he think that?

The image of the blonde flashed behind his eyes- his first real memory- and he took his time recalling the look on his face, the sound of his voice. There was honest strong emotion in those eyes when he had looked at him. Even though it was practically the first time he could remember setting eyes on him, the emotions beckoned to something inside him that had responded eagerly, making his heart beat faster, his chest feel heavier. It made no sense to him, but there was something there that he couldn't exactly pin down- a certain feeling of urgency about… what? Why did he feel that he was falling short in something important?

He lay back on the bed, trying to even his breath. The image of the blonde swam in his mind spreading an oddly calming effect through his body- almost as though as he was not alone.

_Naruto…_

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And so ends chapter 2. Yes, I still have the habit of naming my chapters and it will come back to chomp at my butt later on, I know it. I hope you wonderful people are enjoying it and will try to update promptly.

Ja!

M.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Hey mina-san! Would never have imagined that I would update a story a third time in a month but I suppose the chapter size helps… Inspiration too- a lot of which I get from your wonderful words your encouraging reviews. Or simply seeing the traffic and knowing that you guys read the story. Thank you. ^.^

My anon. readers… uh… er. **Kakashi's Dog **- I was pretty nervous about writing a memory-loss fic. I'm pretty sure it's been done before- and maybe better- but this is my take and I thank you SO much for everything you said… "Genius shines through"? LOL I've been called a lot of things but only you and Sandra have called me a genius. ::waves:: ^.^

**Disclaimer**: Don't own… but there are ways… Muahahaha

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_A Hard and a Rock Place_

Thoughts- he didn't have any. What was happening was beyond his ability to entirely work out in his simple mind. What he did know was that his legs could not support his weight, so he had allowed himself to slide down against the wall- head hanging from his shoulders, arms resting on his knees. All he wanted was to be away- so he could _maybe_ clear this thick fog in his head- but he couldn't bring himself to leave the hospital. Because Sasuke was in that terrible place, alone and afraid. Maybe the Uchiha couldn't remember how close they were or how transparent he was to him, how well he could read his mind, but that didn't change anything. And, really now, he had never left Sasuke, never pulled back when Sasuke had been in trouble, in spite of the other boy's penchant for messy situations.

"I thought I might find you around here."

The voice that travelled to his ears was not entirely unwelcome, but he didn't know what to say either. If the world were a fair place, this particular moment should have come with a mandatory warning label to be worn by the temporary purveyor of said energy- namely _himself_- until the effects have passed. He looked up. Sakura stood there with her spanky smile and cool poise, but he knew it was a charade for his sake and he was much too tired to go along. The girl didn't outright know the exact _details_ of the nature of his and Sasuke's relationship, but he did not fool himself into thinking that they could really hide from her either.

"Hey, Sakura-chan." He greeted dimly.

His tone brought a solemn expression her pretty face, as she took a couple of step towards him. "Don't be like that." She chastised. "He's hurt, he's not _dead_."

The comment made him smirk in spite of himself. If he hadn't resolved already that Sasuke had been a cat in a past life- for his grace, the way he looked on a rainy day and his hissy fits about nothing at all- he's argue with anyone that Sakura had been a cat and somehow retained the weird mood swings. He tried to cling to the thought, because had spent over a day- ever since had found Sasuke- trying not to think what she had suggested oh-so casually. _If Sasuke had died… _"I know."

It was a thought that had always refused to explore. There had never been a chance of that happening- not when Sasuke had agreed to give his body over to Orochimaru, not when he fought against that Snake, not when he finally got his wish and went against Itachi. Sasuke couldn't die. If Sasuke died, he'd lose his mind- lose _himself_. If Sasuke died, there would never be a way for him to become whole again. To think the bastard had made him promise that he'd find a way to move on. Naruto had only agreed- quickly, angrily- because he didn't want to hear those words anymore.

"_If I die…"_

Sakura sighed deeply. "Naruto…" she sat on her knees, so that her eyes would be level with his- if he decided to meet them at all. "Talk to me… just this once."

_Damn you, Teme… _It was an offer that he had always wanted to take, but wouldn't have any other day- because it was impossible to explain what he felt, because he had never needed words and Sasuke had never asked for them. This wasn't _any other day _though and he _needed_ someone- someone who would listen to those thoughts that he refused to have. "I keep thinking that this is unfair." He said after a moment. "There's too much history between us… I don't want to be the only one who remembers. Isn't that selfish?"

Pink brows drew together in confusion. "Selfish?"

His head rested against the wall, eyes falling shut. "Right now Sasuke doesn't know that his family was massacred by his brother. He doesn't remember Itachi… Orochimaru, the Akatsuki… all of that is just names." He said. "He doesn't feel torn or alone… there's no regret or shame that he can't get rid of, no expectations that he never quite met… Right now, Sasuke is…" he paused at the word, meeting Sakura's emerald eyes. "… free."

To his surprise, she scoffed and slid down the wall to squat beside him. "I'm not sure _where_ you were looking, but Sasuke didn't look free. Or happy about it."

Her tone drew a small smile from him. That was Sakura- dependable and pragmatic, telling everyone what their miserable ears didn't want to hear. It wasn't that simple this time though. Perhaps Sasuke had never allowed anyone in the way he had let him in. No one else had spent as many nights with the Uchiha as he had- during their missions, past and present, and all those stolen nights of pleasure or simple companionship that only the two of them had known about. No one knew how restless Sasuke could be in his sleep, how mournful he felt on the anniversary of his clan's massacre, when he was reminded- year after year- that he had not been strong enough to do anything but run as far as his legs would take him.

"He's a control freak- you know that. Memories or not, that doesn't change." He said with a small smile for all the times that he had made that very accusation and the Uchiha had emphatically denied it, only to slip into his _control-freak _mode moments later. The reality that Sasuke didn't remember any of it made him somber up. "Feeling lost must be the _worst_ for someone like him."

"Not knowing that you have been loved- and are loved- has got to be worse." She deadpanned. "I think it's more important to know that there are people to whom you are precious. Now."

Blue eyes widened. For all he knew about the dark boy- that no one else knew, no one else would ever know- there had never really been a scale in his mind that weighed the Uchiha's painful _past_ versus what they had in the _here_ and _now_. He didn't have it in him to assume that what he felt- overwhelming and powerful, as it were- could miraculously fix all those things that had gone so terribly wrong in the other boy's life. Maybe Sakura had a point and he should forget the artist's sketch in his head about how things were _supposed _to be and simply accept that it was enough that what they had was _right_. Something worth being _selfish _about.

"Baka, Naruto." Sakura started with genuine annoyance, because the one thing- in a long list of things- that she refused to tolerate was stupidity. "You never give people enough credit."

Now he was lost. And, granted, he got lost all too easily, but he had found the perfect way to remedy that- phrase the issue in a very articulate manner. "Huh?"

"You mean so _much_ to so _many_ people, yet somehow you fail to see it." She said, her voice gaining a couple of octaves. "I never thought _I_'d have to be the one to tell you that, for Sasuke, it has _always_ been _you_." Then she paused, smiling a little. There had to be some cosmic irony to this, because Sakura had- once upon a long time ago- only wanted for Sasuke to say those very words to her. "It has _only_ been you, Naruto."

The times that he had ever been told something that he didn't know what to respond to had been few and far in between in his life, but he had always been consistent about greeting them with a sense of awkwardness that had him blurting the most random things. "I had used _henge no jutsu _to get a kiss from you." He said, keeping to the tradition.

Sakura blinked several times, very much confused. He _did _have that effect on people. "…What?"

Naruto sighed dejectedly. There was no way out it, now that he had said that much, other than spilling the beans. Or pretending he hadn't said what he just did, wait for Sakura to beat him to a bloody pulp and _then _spill the beans. Being beaten to a bloody pulp could happen even _after_ telling her in this case, but if he could spare himself _any _abuse, he'd take his chances.

"When we got teamed together- you, me and the Teme- I had the hugest crush on you… and everyone knew that you liked Sasuke… so I kinda, haha," he rubbed the back of his head where he knew the punch was coming, "used _henge no jutsu_ to turn into him and kiss you." Predictably, he got one of her infamous right hooks. In the back of the head. It hurt. A lot. "Uh… sorry?"

The pink haired girl rolled her eyes and made a dismissive sound. "Ancient history." She said, then looked thoughtful. "I remember that… you kept running off though." She smiled surreptitiously. "Got cold feet?"

The memory made him cringe. "Hardly." He snorted. "Bad case of food poisoning from spoilt milk."

Sakura laughed heartily at that. "Serves you right."

"Not funny, Sakura-chan." He grumbled.

"Isn't it?" she asked with a smile. "Even if you _got_ your kiss, what would you have done the next day when both Sasuke and I figured what had happened?"

He breathed deeply. "Teme knew. I had tied him and gagged him to make sure he doesn't spoil it for me." At her arched brow, he simple smiled a little. "I suppose I wasn't thinking all that much back then."

"And maybe now you're thinking _too _much." She amended.

Naruto held her gaze for a moment considering her words. When had Sakura become so wise? She had always been smart, but talking to her like that, he felt like a stupid kid. Maybe the days that he was easily branded an idiot weren't as far behind him as he wanted to think.

"Gaki."

They both looked up. Tsunade was standing several feet away, gesturing for him to join her. Did he even want to go back to that room that the boy that filled with his pale face or simply his need for him- his approval at first but as time went by, his need for Sasuke himself- his entire life had no idea who he was? It didn't matter. Iruka had once told him that love is caring about someone more than you need them. He _did_ care about Sasuke more than he needed him- but only marginally more.

As he got to his feet, Sakura took hold of his hand. He looked down at her questioningly.

"That night…" she said, taking a moment before she met his eyes. "That night that you could have kissed me, Sasuke said that I'm annoying." She smiled as both his brows shot up. "He said I don't understand your pain or loneliness… and I knew then that _he_ did."

Naruto looked at her a moment longer before finally nodding. "Aah… Thank you, Sakura-chan."

As he walked to the Hokage's side he felt a little lighter- as if Sakura had shared some of the load that heaved so terribly on his shoulders when he had walked out of that room. The grave look on the older woman's face managed to put a dumper on the relief he had felt after his conversation with his ex-teammate.

"What's wrong, Baa-chan?" he asked, attempting to conceal his worry. He had always been way too easy to read.

Tsunade started walking wordlessly at first, but after a few moments- that had seemed impossibly long- she gave him a quick once-over. "How are you holding up?"

Well, that was kind of contingent to the answer she'd provide to his question, wasn't it? Wisdom must have knocked him over the head with a sledgehammer, though, because he decided to be mature and avoid verbal jabs of the sort or stubbornly insist that she answers his question _first_. "Okay, I guess…"

Said mature attitude didn't seem lost on her, because she graced him with a small smile. "Sasuke should be okay once I figure out the seals that shinobi used on him." She said. "In the meantime, it's best not to tell him anything about his past… just in case there's a second part to this jutsu. Let him remember on his own."

Naruto nodded. Tsunade had sounded quite positive about all this, yet there were several factors to be considered that she had mentioned in passing, almost as insignificant. Nothing was _insignificant_ though. Especially about a jutsu that the just about all-knowing Hokage seemed to know nothing about. Sasuke was _probably_ going to be okay- _assuming_ that the jutsu wasn't a ticking timebomb, whatever they might or might not do. The seals were a mystery, the jutsu unheard of and there _could_ be a second part to it- or a third, fourth, whatever. Or not. And that's all _assuming_ that the damage done was not progressive and Sasuke might end up a vegetable anyway. All of them, assumptions.

_When you assume, you make an ass of yourself. _Kakashi's old advice came to mind, but out loud he just said, "Sounds good.", and forced a smile that Tsunade could totally see through. "So, are you keeping him here?" he asked quickly, before the focus could be switched over to him.

"No. It's best that he goes out there… familiar surroundings and faces might help jog his memory." She said. "You'll be watching over him."

That didn't sound like s good idea. Naruto felt too much and, in hid confused state, if Sasuke were to realize that…. Well… "Baa-chan… I really don't think-"

They were right outside of the room. "At _his_ request."

Any protest he had been about to make melted away at the warm feeling that flicked to life- frail, but definitely there- in his chest. Sasuke had asked for him. Even through that foggy haze that had fallen over his life, coating his memories in blurry thickness, the Uchiha had somehow, instinctively reached for him. He breathed in deeply as he turned the door handle and walked into the small hospital room. Sasuke lay on the bed, quite still, eyes fixed on some vague spot on the ceiling, back in his disheveled clothes.

Naruto stepped on something that cracked under his shoe. It was a small, broken mirror. "Oy, perhaps you don't remember this, but breaking a mirror is bad luck."

The boy's eyes fell shut for a moment, then he rose. "Can I go now?" he said with obvious annoyance coloring his voice.

"Go ahead." Tsunade said with a smirk. "Mirror comes out of your next paycheck."

With a gruff sound he made his way to Naruto. "After you." He said quietly.

The charcoal eyes met his, guarded and apparently blank, but he knew better than that. Sasuke was afraid- and Naruto couldn't stand the thought. He couldn't stand that there was no way to comfort the Uchiha- not their age-old verbal spars, not a hug, no way to hold his body tightly against him and allow their hearts to search for a matching beat that would eventually lull them to sleep. Though he was but an arm's reach away, Naruto could not think of a way to touch him.

"Later, Baachan." he waved over his shoulder, as he turned to lead the way, with Sasuke following at his heel.

Dark, silky hair curtained the view to his eyes, but those pale lips that had thinned in tension were a telltale sign of nervousness. Naruto's heart clenched at the thought that Sasuke didn't know that the stranger beside him would give his soul for him- didn't know that in those rough hands that curled at his sides anxiously, the dark boy held his heart. Always had, always would.

_You're not alone, Sasuke… _

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And thus ends chapter 3. ^.^ Hope you guys are enjoying! Hugs to all!

Ja,

M.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: Hey mina-san! Sorry for the delay but I managed to get myself quite sick and inspiration went bye-bye. Seriously, you can't expect anything good to come out when you're sneezing your brains out at the screen every couple of minutes. Not. Fun. BUT I've finally finished it and I hope that you'll enjoy reading it. Thank you guys for reading and- always, _always_- extra thanks for the reviews that give me the warm fuzzies. ^.^

My anon. readers: **Kakashi's dog – **Oh my goodness, thank you SO much! I hope you got some rest. ^.^ **Toi&Moi - **Aww~! You're too kind, I'm glad you're enjoying it. :-D **Random Reader** - … it's a good thing that I realized that I had typed Rambo Reader before I published this… O.o lol Thank you, thank you thank you. For reading my stories, sticking with them and taking the time to say those great things that I'm not sure I deserve, but they sure put a _huge _smile on my face. ^.^

**Disclaimer**: Don't own… If I did, this disclaimer would mean that I've lost my mind.

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Face In the Mirror_

The sun hung low in the horizon, spilling warm purples and angry oranges over the last traces of yellow. It was the curtain call for one star and show time for infinite others.

The dark boy looked up, where the night was crawling on the other side of the sky. It was a sky he couldn't recall having ever set his eyes on before, but that didn't really scare him- not nearly as much as the cold white walls of the hospital and definitely not so much as his own reflection on that small, dull mirror. It was the face of a stranger, whose only common trait with him was that look of confusion and frustration, but little more.

"Are you okay, Sasuke?"

Sasuke- that _was_ the name of the face in the mirror- took a deep breath before facing the blonde walking beside him. Not _exactly_ beside him- half a step ahead, almost like a bodyguard, making sure that _his_ next step was safe. Was he doing that because he cared or because he had been ordered by his superior? The question gnawed at him a little. Why did he care either way? Considering his predicament, what should matter the most to him was figuring things out, remembering something about _himself_ and yet his attention kept drifting to that person beside him. _Naruto_… Odd how he couldn't bring himself to say that name out loud. He wanted to, had tried to, but always stopped before he would actually utter it.

"I'm fine." He said, rather curtly, a silly part of him blaming him for the additional frustration that his mere presence rained on him.

"Of _course_ you are." The blonde said without extending any effort at hiding his sarcasm.

His brows clouded into a frown. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

The other boy sighed, hands coming up and fingers interlacing into his golden hair. "You may not remember me, but try not to forget that I _know _you."

That was the opening he had been waiting for. "_About_ that." He said, watching him pointedly. "Exactly how _well_ do you know me?"

The blonde missed a step, just about tripping over his own feet. Without thinking, Sasuke reached over and caught him in his arms in a fluid motion. Those cobalt eyes were wide as they shot at him for a short moment, betraying surprise and trepidation. Was it his question that was stirring this reaction or their proximity? He realized that he was holding the other boy a little _too_ close- at least he thought so, because his chest was flat against his, their breaths mingling in a warm humid mist, past lips that were hovering a few short inches apart. Dark eyes narrowed in confusion. It should have felt uncomfortable and wrong, but it didn't. If anything, he realized that being close to this person _eased_ his mind- even as it had been the matrix for all sorts of alarming _physical_ effects. His heart beat faster, his skin tingled, the fine hair in the back of his neck stood as though each touch, each breath sent a small thunder through him.

Sasuke backed away first, looking down to hide the blush that was surely dusting his face. "You must be some kind of _usuratonkachi_ [1] to almost fall on your face like that."

Instead of getting an angry reaction for the insult, as he was expecting- and _hoping_ for, because he needed something to defuse the strange tension between them- he noticed that the other boy's expression tasted a mixture of emotions that were just about poles apart. There was definite hurt in his eyes, which were shimmering like bright, blue pools of emotion, and yet for some reason his lips had curved a little into weak, yet genuine smile. What had he said that had been so right and so wrong at the same time?

There was too much confusion, so terribly much that he _needed _to understand, that he couldn't decide how to form his questions. Even more confusing was the notion- drifting inside his head like a lazy feather- that, _exploring_ those _sensations_, might yield more answers than any words would provide. "Who-?" he started, shaking away the bizarre thought.

"You're in there, Sasuke." The blonde said quietly, stopping his uncertain line of questioning with his strange observation. Those blue eyes darted to him for the shortest moment as he added, "You just have to find your way back."

_Back _to what? _To me? To you? _The questions hang idly behind his lips. The place where he was finding himself was absolute darkness and there was no pinprick of light that he might follow, nothing tangible that he could hold on to- not around him or inside of him. Life started in the middle of a nameless book and any page before he had opened his eyes was blank and nothing made sense. It couldn't be surprising that his mind was desperately venturing to clutch on to _anything_ at all- and the only thing that had felt anywhere near _real_ had been the other boy's warm touch. _Why?_ It was driving him crazy.

"You haven't answered my question." He deadpanned, sounding cool and collected, even though he was unsure if he was ready for the answer.

The blonde paused and turned to face him, golden hair fanning around his face in the soft breeze, eyes setting on him serious and guarded. Somehow he knew that this wasn't how that boy was supposed to be. The tan face was connected to an image of a smile he had yet to see and a feeling of buoyancy that was nowhere to be found. Maybe that woman- _Tsunade_- was right and he _could_ trust his instincts to get him through this. The realization was a double-edged sword though, because that would also mean that certain _other_ instincts he had about the blonde were just as true and not a product of his confusion, like he was hoping at the moment.

"Sasuke-kun, Naruto!"

A blonde girl with a long ponytail waved spiritedly as she walked towards them, dragging a dark-haired boy behind her. A pleasant smile bloomed on her lips with each step that brought her closer, so Sasuke figured that she knew both of them well enough. He noticed that the boy's demeanor betrayed laziness and some exasperation, but something told him that that was okay and somehow fitting. A fleeting image of that boy with _another_ blonde at his side- this one a blurry image that oozed of attitude and the confidence of a woman- came to his mind as he waited for them to approach. Was it a memory?

"I suppose it was too much to hope we could avoid bumping into people for now…" the blonde muttered. "Hey, Ino. Shikamaru."

_Ino. Shikamaru._ The names didn't mean anything to him. Perhaps it would be best to keep quiet and let his _chaperone_ deal with them. He didn't know who those people were to him- if they were friends or casual acquaintances- nor could he fathom whether his situation would have any kind of effect on them. It was unfair that he was getting those hurt looks, when he himself was not in all that good shape and he didn't need the extra dash of guilt. If it was somehow his fault that he had ended up in predicament, his punishment _had_ to be disproportionate to whatever mistake he had made.

And was that girl looking at him somewhat… weird? "Back from your mission already?" she questioned conversationally and, even though she was addressing both of them, her blue eyes stayed on him. "We're going out on border patrol tomorrow…" she rolled her eyes. "Shikamaru _volunteers_ _us_ and poor Hinata, Kiba and Shino for just about any reckon mission that can bore you to tears. You guys get all the action."

Shikamaru shot her a sidelong look, pulling his hand from her grasp and rubbing his wrist. "Someone has to make sure that the children around the Fire Country behave."

"Action is not always fun." Naruto said, forcing a smile.

That drew a sly smile from Ino. "Reeeally? It seems like it's always _fun_ when it's the _two_ of you."

Shikamaru elbowed her a little, Naruto's eyes widened and Sasuke's gaze just moved to everyone in turn. There had been definite _subtext_ to what the girl had so casually said, but he couldn't tell if she was simply teasing- and even if she were, how much of it was based on some kind of hard facts. It was quite difficult to stop replaying that comment over and over in his mind. Maybe it was time to figure out why.

He arched a brow at her. "Really."

Ino looked between him and Naruto a little taken aback, then smiled somewhat sympathetically. "Suppose he's in one of his _moods_ again?" she said, with amusement chiming in her voice.

Well, that almost sent him on the defensive side of the fence. One of his _moods_? What part of the memories that he was missing revealed that he was, in fact, a _girl_? _Moods?_ Seriously? The offense must have read clearly on his face, because even the blasé guy frowned at him in confusion. Apparently this had not been his usual reaction in the past. What was it? A smirk, perhaps. A snappy comeback. A wise-crack. What kind of expression would that face in the mirror make?

Naruto touched his arm tentatively and sighed. "It's a bit more complicated…" he hesitated. "There was a _situation_ and… Sasuke can't remember anything… or anyone."

Silence reined for what felt like a very long moment. What was said had sounded inconceivable, judging by the look of unadorned disbelief pasted on their face. Then both pairs of eyes shifted to Naruto in more than obvious concern. Apparently, those two thought that _his_ memory loss was more of a concern to the other boy than himself. Did any of that answer his question about his closeness to the blonde?

"How terrible…" the girl muttered, her features tasting obvious discomfiture about her earlier comments. "Naruto…"

The smile on Naruto's lips was the most unconvincing reaction possible, but Sasuke was glad to know that the blonde was such a terrible liar. "No worries, Ino. He'll be fine."

"And how are _you _coping?" Shikamaru inquired, his eyes sparking with wit that suggested that he was choosing his words carefully. "Are you hurt?"

Sasuke wondered if the question pertained to his emotional or physical state. His guess would be both, but the phrasing was intelligent enough that allowed for choice and discretion.

"No broken bones- I'll be fine." He said with a softer smile, appreciating the concern. It made the dark-haired boy's lips thin in what looked like apprehension, that he was quick to dismiss with a tap on the other boy's shoulder. "Anyway, we need to get going. Good to see you guys."

With a wave and a parting smile, they resumed their way again, this time somewhat awkwardly. There was no point in him asking anything, because he wouldn't get a straight answer. Just as he was supposed to rely on instinct, the blonde had been instructed to keep quiet about his past. Supposedly, powering through the haze was a safer way to get his memories back. He was certain that the thought must have occurred to him before, but all the same he wished there was a way for something in life to be simple and not carry a mandatory principle, that it had to be done the hard way.

"Where are we going anyway?" he asked.

"To your house." The other boy said simply, but the answer was somehow loaded.

His house. The notion came with a certain amount of anxiety that- much like with everything else- he couldn't explain. "Is someone waiting for me there?"

This time Naruto didn't look at him. "No."

"I live alone?"

"… Most of the time." He said quickly. "Hopefully it will jog your memory."

The response shouldn't have been that cryptic, but Sasuke was beginning to resign to the idea that he and the blonde had a pretty complicated relationship that he'd have to figure out for himself. Thus far he hadn't been getting any helpful tips, but there had been enough clues- in the way that people reacted with regards to the two of them, but mostly in the Naruto's behavior and his own unthinking reactions. In any case, whatever it was it would have to take a backseat to the ugly reality that it was one of the _many things _that he didn't remember. That included his family. Why did he live alone? What had happened to his parents? Did he have any siblings?

That last self-inquiry made his stomach twist. The wave of nausea that had been kept at bay since he had left the hospital made him feels slightly giddy.

They passed under a stone arch, on which he could make out a painted fan- even in the dark, even though the red had faded and the white had a moldy hue to it. It was the same fan that he had noticed on his shirt. _A family crest? His_ family's crest. Though he didn't remember what had happened to those people that were not there, whose memory consisted of dark, blurry sillouettes in the back of his mind, the fact was that all the houses that they were passing by were empty and silent. How long had it been since anyone had been there other than him?

"We're here." Naruto announced tensely/

Sasuke lifted his gaze.

The house that towered in front of him was the biggest building, located at the edge of the compound. It stood with an air of quiet prominence with the crest hanging heavily over the front entrance. He felt his knees buckle, as some unnamed feeling crawled under his skin. His body stiffened- because of that terrible anxiety, because maybe taut muscles might be the only things that could compensate for his buttery joints- as he passed through the threshold.

A lump nestled in his throat.

It wasn't a ghost town like he had first thought. The place was not just a memorial to an unspeakable tragedy.

_This place is a graveyard._

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And that's Chapter 4… Next will be Naruto's pov. … Yes, I have a thing for povs and can't stick to just one. ;-) I hope you guys enjoy!

Ja!

M.

**Notes****:**

[1] The italics and lower case go because Sasuke does not recall that 'Usuratonkachi' is his pet name for Naruto. He's calling him an idiot, but uses that instead of, say, 'baka'.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: Hey mina-san! So, I'm posting this uber fast to make up for last time. ^.^ Thank you for reading, extra thanks and huggies for the reviews that have made my day. You guys are amazing. :-*

My anon reader. **Kakashi's Dog – **I updated soon. ^.^ I hope you DID study. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say bad habits… ::looks all innocent:: ;-)

**Disclaimer**: Do not own. Do torture. Heheheheh ^.^

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Shoulder Angels_

More than once Sasuke had told him that, if not for his nagging voice in the back of his head, the crimes he had committed would have been so much worse. There had been a time that the Uchiha's heart had been so terribly numbed by his need for vengeance and that dreadful thirst for his brother's blood, that he could see nothing past it- and yet something had held him back. Something had kept him _human_. Sasuke would smirk and say that it was _"A Dobe's annoying voice next to my ear, yelling that I can't do_ that_."_- whatever _that _might have been at the time. Surprisingly, though the dark boy would scoff to that loud, intangible creature, he would comply all the same. Naruto had told him that this admission confirmed him as his official 'Shoulder Angel'. Sasuke had responded that feathers might actually not look that bad on him as long as the attire was right. That had been enough to stir the argument in a whole new direction.

Now, months of intimacy later, Naruto was standing in the threshold of Sasuke's room, watching him take everything in as though as he had never set eyes on any of it before that moment. He didn't remember their gambols and hen-pecking, didn't recall any of the nights that they had spent in this room, doing things that would still make him blush. None of what had filled the air between them was there- well, _almost_ nothing, because he could see Sasuke struggling to figure him out. So maybe there was hope. Or maybe he was just seeing things that he wished were true.

"Anything familiar?" he asked, as the other boy opened the door of his closet and winced.

Sasuke pulled out an orange robe and placed it against his frame for comparison. "This isn't mine." He said firmly- with a hint relief and a peck of certainty. Memories or not, his downright lack of appreciation for the color was a constant. "Do I have a girlfriend?"

Naruto's brow twitched, because the amnesiac Uchiha had unknowingly stumbled over a point of contention. After doing _stuff_- and especially since they had started having sex- Sasuke would often tease him about how _pretty_ he looked when he blushed or murmured his name breathlessly. Apparently, he had never bothered to turn that mirror around, otherwise he'd know that, between the two of them, the dark boy with the delicate features and deliberate grace was far _prettier_ than he could ever be. The jury was still out on the _girlfriend case_ and he'd like to keep it that way. It had been hard enough to deal with the idea that he had feelings for a _guy_- if he wanted a _girlfriend_, it would have been so much less complicated to get himself one.

"No." he said after a moment, brow still twitching enough that he had to wonder if he was developing a permanent tic. "You do _not_ have girlfriend."

"Good. I wouldn't want to see the girl who could fill this." He said, before his eyes trailed to Naruto, dressed in his usual, mostly-orange apparel. He arched a brow, before tossing it at him. "You have an odd choice for a favorite color. Especially for a ninja."

Naruto blushed, realizing that Sasuke had guessed right all along. Yes, the fluffy, orange robe was his and he had expected more of an interrogation on the issue- not that he was complaining. No, until now, it hadn't occurred to him that Sasuke would be coming across various pieces of clothing that he had left here one night or another- or that the Uchiha got for him, because it made the place feel more _home-y_. And one such had been the bathrobe that the blonde had favored over than any traditional apparel available to him- like those silk kimonos that Sasuke kept trying to get him to try on. He didn't _do_ silk _anything_- it was girly and weird.

"Yeah, well…" he said absently, rolling the robe into a ball and tossing it on a nearby chair. "To each his own, right?"

The Uchiha returned to his search in the closet. "You must be pretty confident in your skills."

Naruto eyed the other boy suspiciously, searching for the hidden insult. "Huh?"

Hook, line and bait. On dry land. "Anyone wearing such a loud color has to have a deathwish or be a damn skilled shinobi." He deadpanned. "Not that I would have thought that the later was the case for you, considering how accident prone you seem to be."

"You're the one who can't remember shit, Teme." He panned back and thought he had a point.

Sasuke must have thought so too, because he smirked in that familiar way that only he would- and it made his heart ache. "Touché." He acknowledged, then pulled out a midnight blue yukata. Those charcoal eyes studied the small red and white fan embedded on the back. "So. Do you stay here often?"

He froze. Was there some kind of _suggestion_ hidden in the question? Did Sasuke remember something or was he just fishing? "Often enough." He responded, honestly.

The Uchiha usually favored _his_ place over the mansion, because the small apartment was cozy and did not carry the terrible memories of the massacre. Sasuke paused in his investigation, his charcoal eyes setting firmly on him. The stare was intense and scrutinizing- and not at all unfamiliar in a way, because he'd look at him that way when he was coming up with the next _intriguing_ thing he wanted to try. That couldn't be it now, though.

"I suppose that makes sense to me." He said, taking a few steps towards him and pausing less than a foot away- which wasn't nearly as much space a Naruto needed. "That girl _did_ say that we always have _fun_ together."

What was he trying to do? If it was an attempt to gauge his reaction at proximity- especially talking like that, using Ino's baiting words- and not something that revealed intention or emotion, Naruto would find it in poor taste. Be that as it may, Sasuke had always been an asshole and this memory-loss deal seemed to have stripped him of whatever progress they had made since his return.

With an irritable sigh, he stepped back. "How about you focus on trying to remember something?" he suggested and immediately bit his tongue as it hit him that whatever the dark boy would recall in this place would be traumatizing. "Uh… I mean… Anything would help."

Sasuke's gaze had not changed, nor moved from him. "No." he said simply.

Naruto blinked in surprise. "What?"

"No, I don't want to try to remember _something_ about this place." He said, sounding stubborn, but that wasn't it.

Could he really blame him? The whole compound still reeked of death. Especially on stormy nights, it'd give him the chills- and he hadn't had the privilege of witnessing the massacre through Itachi's Mangekyu. "That's fine." He said, running a hand through his hair. "You want some tea?"

This time, Sasuke didn't question how he was that familiar with the place. "I would appreciate that." He said simply.

"Okay then." Naruto dusted imaginary dirt off his pants nervously. "Make yourself at home."

If his attempt to lighten the mood had reached the other boy there was little indication in ways of appreciation. Seriously- was that the best he could come up with? A lame- _lame, lame, lame _- stab at humor. Even someone like him, who was ridiculously easily amused, could tell that it wasn't funny. That's why he left the room a little too quickly- shaking his head at himself- and made his way to the kitchen.

Now, even if Sasuke got his memories back, he would still be a lot better at finding his way through the cabinets than the Uchiha. A few days after he had started to spend the night a little more regularly, he had discovered that the other boy had done very little upkeeping in most of the kitchen- because he would only use a couple of cupboards, the refrigerator and the stove. Everything else had been reverently kept the way his mother had left it the day Itachi went batshit and killed everyone and it took a lot of convincing to change that, with Naruto pointing out that his mom would not have wanted the house to be a monument, but rather a _home_ for her son. It had hit home with Sasuke, who had left the room with a dismissive-sounding _"Do whatever you want."_, which was as much of a concession as he'd ever hope to get on such an emotional issue.

An unexpected factoid was that he had also proven much better at brewing tea, even though Sasuke had more experience with the beverage. It pleased him immensely to see the Uchiha's brows furrow in mild chagrin at his skill each time he'd make him a cup. With thoughts like those, time went by too fast and before he knew it he was all set and the tray with the tea ready to be served. He walked back, inhaling the sweet scent of jasmine tea that was familiar and soothing in this insane situation.

"All set-" he started to say, but realized that Sasuke was no longer in the room. "Sasuke…?" he called. "Oy, Sasuke!"

A chill ran through him as he put the try down and stepped out of the room in search of the Uchiha. What the _hell_ was he thinking, leaving him alone like that? Had he run away? Had he remembered something terrible and… _And what?_ What would Sasuke do, if he remembered the massacre?

Almost knowingly, his steps brought him to the west wing of the mansion, where the bedroom of Sasuke's parents was located. Uchiha Fugaku and Mikoto had died in there by the hand of their eldest son. Cobalt eyes widened as he saw Sasuke just standing there in front of the closed door. It was locked- for which Naruto was thankful. He had been in there once with the raven, on his father's birthday, when he would light incense and spend a few moments in the room that would be inaccessible other than such occasions- birthdays and the anniversary of their death. The significance of being included in the rite had not escaped him.

A few days later he had managed to summon up the courage to go to his own father's grave- since the people in the know had finally decided to fill the gaps- and Sasuke had been with him. Supposedly he had never been told the truth about Minato as a child, because people figured that he would have resented him for the bright idea to seal a demon in him. Maybe they had been right at the time.

"… Sasuke?" he tried softly, as though sound might break the Uchiha.

If Sasuke heard him, he ignored him. Whatever state of trance had brought him to that room had completely enveloped his mind. A pale hand came up to touch the door, head stooping a little and shoulders dropping as though he was suddenly so, so tired. There was a grim, but determined expression on his face as he looked to the side, then reached into a small vase and fished out a key. Surprise was swiftly added to his features- and then understanding.

_No, no, no, no…_ Naruto's gaze shifted from the vase to Sasuke's hand that had closed tightly around the key. All he wanted was to protect his precious person- Sakura was wrong. Not knowing _had_ to be better than the shrill pain that he was about to experience all over again, that he no longer remembered how he had learned to live and cope with it. "Sasuke…" he called to him a little louder. "Let's just go back to your room. We can deal with this tomorrow."

Sasuke had never been one to be reasoned with once he had made up his mind though. "Stay here." He said tightly, finally acknowledging his presence, and unlocked the door.

Guess he wasn't invited this time. Naruto's hands balled into fists, feeling helpless as he watched his precious person, his best friend- his any-and-all-things encompassed in that pale form- survey the room like it was hostile grounds. There was a picture on the nightstand- of him, his brother and parents- that he picked up for a moment and his hands trembled a little as he set it back down. A haunted look started to crawl in those beautiful eyes, darkening them with unspoken grief the more he stood there, the more his gaze set on a specific spot on the floor. There was the brownish outline of a stain that had drenched the wood and would never be removed.

_Screw this_, Naruto thought and walked to his side. He wanted to take his hand, but settled for squeezing his arm. "Ne, Sasuke… are you alright?" he asked tentatively.

His gaze never wavered from the floor. "Fine." he replied, his voice a hoarse whisper that told another story entirely.

_Bullshit_, he accused. "Anything coming back?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No."

Naruto had had to bypass the Uchiha's stubborn mask twice already- and however frustrating he would do it again and again. There was nothing more important to him that the stupid bastard that stood in front of him, nothing he needed more- or at all, as long as Sasuke was there. Besides, the Hokage monument had not been built in a day and anything worthwhile was a work in progress.

He brought his arm around those tense shoulders and tried to tear him out of the room. "Come on… let's go have some tea." He urged gently.

The raven's feet were glued in that spot and he didn't move. Naruto had been about to do just about anything sort of hoisting him over his shoulder or dragging him out of her room by the hair- unless _nothing _else worked, in which case he'd have to keep his options open- when he felt Sasuke shiver. His eyes snapped back to Sasuke's face and his breath caught in his chest. _No…_ The charcoal eyes shone with unshed tears and his frame began to shake with silent sobs. Naruto didn't care about rules or misunderstandings anymore. Right there and then Sasuke's heart was breaking and he needed him- maybe he didn't remember that need, but he was going to be there for whether he liked it or not.

_Always. _He promised in his mind as he gathered the pale boy in his arms and held him tightly against him.

There was nothing he could say- nothing but trite assurances and hollow pledges that it was going to be alright- so he simply squeezed him to him, one hand stroking his back, the other guiding the raven's head to the crook of his neck and holding him there. It _wasn't_ going to be alright. Nothing would ever make that pain disappear- but, eventually, he prayed that the raven would remember that he was not alone. _Never._ But there and then there was nothing he could do other than use his clumsy arms to hold him together as the world-around him, inside him- was falling apart. His body was the only buffer for the muffled scream of utter grief that left Sasuke's lungs until they emptied of air, robbing him of his strength. His knees buckled and crushed on the floor. Naruto went down with him, refusing to let go, placing feathersoft kisses on his dark hair as the strong, unyielding Uchiha wept- and he wept with him. For the parents that had been killed, for the terror and heartbreak that he had experienced, for all the innocence that had been stolen from him that day.

There was no compass for time in that painful limbo, so he couldn't tell how long it had been until the sobs subsided, but Sasuke had remained quietly in that embrace longer still. Finally, he looked up at him and those dark eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot. Naruto smiled a little at him and pushed the strands of dark hair that had fallen into his eyes out of the way, cupping his face in his hands.

"I'm here." Was all he said and wished there was something more, yet begged whatever Kami there was that it was enough. For now.

Sasuke took a deep breath and stood, offering his hand to help him up. It was strangely assuring, almost an image of strength even though the Uchiha had to sniffle now and then. Naruto didn't need it, but took it anyway- because he didn't feel the need to be strong in front of Sasuke. They had always been stronger together than they had been individually and even if his memory never returned, he wanted the Uchiha to know that. After a moment, Sasuke handed him the key to the room causing him to look back questioningly. Was it a response in trust? Did he even know why he was doing this? Maybe his hearing was still failing him, but the heart must have heard the soothing whispers his Shoulder Angel.

The Uchiha didn't explain either way. He simply stood there, with something almost pleading beckoning behind his eyes. Eventually he spoke again in a voice that was barely audible and painfully broken. "Get me out of here."

He didn't have to ask twice.

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So that was chapter 5… ::crickets chirping:: … I know… angry, huh? ::crickets having a symphony orchestra:: I'm sorry, I HAD to do this! Well… not had to per se, but this is how it came out. Will try to send angsty muse on vacation. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy. ^.^

Ja!

M.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: Hey mina-san! This is chapter 6. It's taken me a while longer to finish it because rl has me running at this time… Still I tried to finish it reasonably fast. Thank you all for reading, tons of extra thanks and love to my reviewers! I know I say this every time, but it's always heartfelt.

My anon. readers: **Kakashi's Dog – **You are TOO kind! … sometimes. ;-) Honestly thank you. You have been around and supporting my work since the beginning and I really appreciate that. Smooches! **CuppyKate** – Thank you! ^.^ I hope you get a kick out of this one and that I keep it interesting for you. ;-)

**Disclaimer**: I don't own, but am willing to have a little _chat_ with Kishimoto with regards to the direction of his latest chapters. After that, maybe I _will_ own. ;-)

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Bigger Than My Body_

_Pain…_

Something inside his chest was pulsating unbearably and each breath drew through him like broken glass, slithering its way past his lips. They felt almost parched and, impulsively, he licked them, same way as a man thirsty for water under the blazing sun might have- but no water could quench his thirst. No balm could abreact what had occurred. It wasn't just his heart, his whole body hurt- his lungs hurt, his stomach hurt, every muscle in his body was stretching in excruciating tension. His eyes felt dry since he had stopped crying.

"Here."

He lifted his eyes to the source of the gentle voice. The blonde stood there holding out a cup of tea for him. It was still a mystery, how they had returned to this room- _his _room. The way he had felt in that hell of a room, he hadn't thought that his body could move, caught in the gravity of that heartbreaking emotion. He briefly wondered if the other boy had bothered to lock the door behind them, lest whatever beast he had unleashed might chase after him. _Nonsense…_

"Sasuke…" the blonde called for his attention.

Oh, right. The cup. It was embarrassing how his hands still shook as he retrieved the small porcelain article- or maybe _artifact_ was a better word for it. It looked pristine, but there was definite traces of the artistic strains the intricate patterns that adorned its surface. The warmth that emanated from the hot liquid spread through him and made his cold hands ache a little, due to the sharp contrast in temperature. He idly wondered if his hands had always been that cold. The sweet, flowery scent of the tea climbed up his nostrils, soothing and vaguely familiar.

Something warm and fuzzy draped around his shoulders. It was the hideous orange robe- which was still _hideous_, of course, but very much welcome. He looked at the other boy questioningly.

"You were shivering." He informed him.

Was he? He hadn't realized it- other than the pain inside, he felt pretty numb- but nodded, accepting the other boy's word as fact.

Naruto stood there idly for a few moments, then settled next to him. "What happened in there?" he asked, not without hesitation.

What had happened in there? His mind was reeling with images of carnage and his heart had almost caved in. The emotion that had enfolded him in its prickly embrace had been terrible- it had been enough to make him wonder if he really _did_ want his memories back. Maybe he could simply start over- clean slate, empty and able to fill his mind with different things than what he had experienced the _first time_. How many people even had that option? Maybe he had been blessed with a second chance and didn't even realize it.

"The man and the woman in that picture…" he started, surprising himself that he could find his voice. The sound juddering his vocal chords, raw from that grief-stricken scream, made his throat hurt. "… they were killed in that room."

A nod, lips thinning and jaw setting. "Yeah… yeah, they were." He offered tightly.

"Those people…", he tried for a semblance of level tone, "… were they my parents?"

The blonde nodded again. "Yes. Your father was Uchiha Fugaku and your mom's name was Mikoto."

It was a little unexpected that he had been presented with that information, but he figured that the other boy was really worried and could probably appreciate the significance of this situation. How much did he know? The way that his voice had assumed that gentle tone could only mean that he understood- perhaps not everything about him, but a _lot_. The way he had held him in that room betrayed closeness and a familiarity that he _wanted_ to recall. It was unfair that he couldn't have one without the other- unfair that he had been reduced to a defenseless child and everything was a surprise. He couldn't stand it. He could barely stand _himself_.

_But…_ It was because he had experienced a feeling of safety in those arms, even as he had been free-falling into the depths of that private hell, that he found the courage to utter his next words. "Did _I_ kill them?"

The reaction he got was one of unadulterated bewilderment- for which he was grateful, because it served to answer his question wordlessly and instantly. "No- Sasuke, no, you could never-" the other boy paused and took a deep breath. "Why would you even ask such a thing?"

"I was there…" he said, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, as if that would block the images unfolding behind his eyelids, wishing he could make it all go away again- push it back to the furthest reaches of his mind. "I felt… it wasn't just the grief… there was panic and confusion." He frowned mostly thinking aloud than confiding. "As though something about it was… impossible. Something was…"

Though his voice had trailed off in mid sentence, he noticed that Naruto made no effort to probe any further. Instead he set a tan hand on his shoulder- very much the way he had back at the hospital. It was a few hours ago, but time had stretched impossibly. "You loved your parents. With all your heart."

Sasuke breathed deeply and took another sip of his tea. It was _unexpectedly_ good. "What about my brother?" he asked then and something about the question felt unsettling- a ghost of another kind of emotion that he didn't try to explore.

Apparently, the other boy shared his outlook on the matter, because his features clouded. "Your brother…?" he asked as though unclear about what he was being asked.

"There was another guy in the picture." he said, setting his cup down on the nightstand. "Judging by the family resemblance, I assumed it was my brother."

After a moment he nodded. "… Yeah. That's your brother."

Something was quite loaded in this discussion and he couldn't put his finger on it, but this amount of hesitation was getting just about ridiculous and only served to crumble his previous apprehension. This was important, he could tell, so he he wanted to know- he _deserved_ to know. "So…?"

This time Naruto sighed. "You admired and loved your brother throughout your childhood."

And wasn't _that_ a pretty strange use of past tense. "Is he dead?"

The blonde wasn't looking at him anymore. He interlaced his fingers and rested his elbows on his thighs, absentmindedly rubbing his thumbs together. "… Yeah."

Sasuke watched him under a frown that only deepened the more questions he had to ask. "Did he die that day as well?"

"No." he supplied, even more crisply this time.

What had been frustration up until then took a sharp turn to irritation. This nitpicking was, at the very least, galling- because this wasn't a quiz, it was his life. His empty life that had abruptly been flooded with dread and misery. "If this is about that woman's orders, I don't want to hear it." He said quite tersely. "This is too important and I want answers. I _expect_ answers." Red hot anger flared inside him, melting away at the numbing cold sensation that had overwhelmed him. "This is no longer an experiment- it felt like I was losing my mind in there!"

The blonde's gaze was still downcast. He did not try to justify his attitude or that woman's orders, but all the same he was not giving in either. Sasuke knew- _knew_ in his gut, beyond any doubt- that the tan boy sympathized with him and even agreed with his point, but the way his features had set, the way his golden brows had mingled into a frown, was informing him in no uncertain terms that he would stick to his orders.

That only served to further exasperate him. "Who am I?" this time he demanded. "My mind is full of images and emotions that don't match. _What_ am I?"

After a long moment, Naruto finally turned to him and placed a hand over his lips, in a startlingly resolute gesture. "You are Uchiha Sasuke." He said softly. "And you are very important to me."

The choice of words made his eyes widen and drained all the fight out of him. He stared at the blonde, who looked back a little nervously, but emanating a quiet determination to not take his words back. With that simple statement Naruto had anchored him in the present. Right there and then, he was _important_ to another person- whose warm, rough hand was covering his mouth, whose deep blue eyes were staring back into his full of honest emotion, whose strong arms had kept him from falling apart.

Perhaps there was something he was supposed to say or do, because after a few moments, the other boy withdrew his hand and rose. "Try to get some rest… it's been a tough day."

Without thinking he reached out and tagged at Naruto's sleeve, who looked down at him curiously. Sasuke couldn't bring himself to look up and meet his eyes. "… Stay."

Surprise and something unnamed crossed the blonde's handsome features. "I'm not going anywhere." He said in that gentle tone. "I'll be right across the hall-"

"No." he cut and was taken aback by the sincerity of his need. "Stay… with me." This time he did look up- and those blue eyes were staring back in shock and that other emotion. What was it? It hit him then that there was no other furniture that would accommodate them other than the bed- no sofa or futon- so he had more or less invited the blonde to share his bed. The thought fired a furious blush on his cheeks and, fearing that he had overstepped his boundaries, he quickly let go of the orange sleeve and looked down. "Y-you don't have to, of course."

Naruto caught his hand before he could pull it back, making him look up. This time he was greeted with a small smile. "I want to."

If it was physically possible, his heart would have jumped up his throat. "… You do?" he asked almost timidly.

A nod. A nervous smile. "Yeah." Naruto replied firmly. Then added, not quite as firmly. "Uh… do you want to take your shower first?"

It had been a very eventful day and, though he wished he could pretend otherwise, he did not want to be alone for another second. And, short of asking the other boy to join him, taking a pass was the only way to ensure that. "Would you mind if we skipped that… just for tonight?"

Blue eyes looked back surprised. Did he use to be a hygiene freak or was it his polite tone that was atypical? "O-okay…" he replied and cleared his throat.

For a moment there, they simply stood facing each other, then the blonde walked to the other side of the bed and pulled down the covers. Sasuke noticed that his muscles jittered a little as he watched the other boy take off his jacket and pants, standing there in just a black, sleeveless shirt and orange boxers. Those orange boxer shorts had red spirals that were quite an eye-catcher- and _not _in a good way. At least it was the color and pattern that he attributed the reason why his eyes had been _caught _there for longer than a passing moment. That, however, did not explain the weird anticipation at the thought of taking off his own clothes and getting into that bed.

If Naruto was noticing any of the myriad of ways that were getting a reaction out of him, he didn't show it, but rather casually slid under the covers and settled his head on the pillow. The profuse hesitation, though, was not one of those things that could be swept under the carpet. "Are you just gonna stand there and stare at me?" he asked quite deadpan, but there was a crinkle of amusement in his eyes.

Sasuke turned away to hide a blush. "Hn." He said and hoped that when he got his memory back he would be more eloquent than that. Or at least _articulate_. Hn? What the hell did that even _mean_? Hopefully he wasn't usually that much of an idiot- though he could swear that his 'hn' had stirred a reaction from the blonde. But it was fleeting and long gone within seconds. He took off his shirt and realized that he wasn't wearing an undershirt. Thankfully, his time at the hospital had been assuring, if only in that he _was_ wearing underwear, but even that thought was not enough to diminish his nervousness as he stepped out of his pants. Blue boxer shorts- same shade as the yukata he had intended to wear.

Charcoal eyes drifted to the blonde, in his bed, whose gaze seemed transfixed on him. He arched a brow and found enough mental fortitude to fight down his blush long enough to casually ask, "Are you just going to _lay_ there and stare at me?", effectively paying back for the earlier tease.

Crimson red washed over Naruto's features and it was now his turn to back down. "Whatever. " he said averting his eyes. "Just cut the crap and lie down. You need rest."

That was a point hard to argue, so he didn't. Doing his best to look cool and composed, he got himself under the covers, with his back to the other boy. Then he figured that his position was rude and insensitive in some way, so he lay flat on his back. The silence between them was next to deafening.

"Have we done this before?" he asked without thinking about it.

The blonde turned to him a little startled. "Yeah…" he said after a moment. "We have."

Maybe solving the puzzle of this endearing chemistry would make things easier between them. "… Often?" he pushed.

The other boy leaned on his elbow and stared at him. Those blue eyes searched his for something that he obviously didn't find, because his jaw-line set and he dropped back on his back with an air of dejection. "Go to sleep, Sasuke." He said quietly.

Sasuke wasn't sure what to make of all that, but he knew that he was hurting him- with every unwitting word, with every unrecognizing stare, he was hurting him. Anxiously, he looked for some way to remedy that, some way that he might assure him that the person he used to be was still there somewhere, locked inside his head- he still _felt_, he wasn't _all _gone. What Naruto had done for him- today and all those days that his mind couldn't rightly summon up, yet his heart did- had welled up a feeling of immense gratitude in him that he could find no real way to express. _Naruto… _He closed his eyes and heaved a breath, in a vain attempt to summon up courage- but he knew it wouldn't happen.

His cold, unfamiliar hand reached over and squeezed the warm, tan one. "Thank you…", he said more than a little uncomfortably, before finally locking eyes with him, "Naruto."

There. At long last he had said that name and it had felt good- almost like a stolen breath that he finally got back. It felt even better to watch something hopeful ember in those blue eyes and, as Naruto's astonishment melted away, a full smile bloomed on his lips. There was something there, a kind of connection that had brought him back to light out of the abyss that he had faced. Did the blonde-_ Naruto_- know anything about all the things that he felt? Had he ever told him? A responding smile spread on his lips and his heart beat so fast it might just race out of his chest, but it felt good. How could a simple touch hold that much power?

Naruto squeezed back, not letting go of his hand. "Goodnight, Sasuke…" he said softly. "I'll be here, okay?"

He nodded and closed his eyes, the small smile lingering on his lips for the stretch of a moment. Maybe he could sleep, maybe it was even safe to dream. Maybe it was safe. His eyes fluttered one final time before he drifted off to what he hoped would be soporific sleep, if it couldn't be restful. More than likely his eyes were playing tricks on him because, the way the moon shone on Naruto's face, he could swear he saw tears coursing down the handsome face, yet he was still smiling, still holding on to his hand. It made his heart ache.

_Naruto._

His body was much too small to encompass all that he felt in that short, short moment.

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And that's chapter 6 for you guys. ^.^ I hope you are enjoying this… Next chapter Kakashi will be making his appearance. For those of you who have not read Tides and Ebbs, Kakashi hadf moved in with Sasuke for the year that he had been on probation after returning to the Village and he's one of the few people who know enough to infer the nature of Sasuke's and Naruto's relationship… My Kakashi also get a kick out of teasing Sasuke with innuendos and stuff. I think that covers all possible references for the next chappie. Again, sorry, I can't manage to keep the stories _entirely_ separate, but I do try- honest.

Ja, ne?

M.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: Hey mina-san! It's been forever and a day, I know. Those of you who had to listen to my whining during T&E know that my bad back gives me trouble now and then, for those of you new to my whining fits on the matter, that's why I've been awol. No, I have not abandoned the story. ;-) Thank you for asking though, and I hope you enjoy the longer chapter… otherwise known as my attempt to kiss up to you guys. Hehe As always, my readers have my thanks and utter appreciation for sticking with my ramblings of stories. Extra smooches to all you guys who took the time to review. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 3

My anon. readers: **Kakashi's Dog** – Thank you. You are always so kind with your praise… and very effective with your threats. Lol I hope you enjoy this one. ;-) **CuppyKate **– Thank you. ^.^ I do hope that the future chapters KEEP you interested. ^.^ **Mo** – Thank you! ^.^ Will most definitely try~! **Caddie** – Thank you for you kind, kind words- they really warm my heart. I try to have a general draft in my mind about what should happen in a story, but you give me more credit than I deserve- most times even I don't know the details until I start typing. ^.^ I'm happy you're enjoying it and I'll do my best so that the feeling will ring as true in the future. :-)

**Disclaimer**: I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul- but don't own Naruto. I'd trade fate and soul for the kind of income that's knocking on Kishimoto's door on a monthly basis. ^.^_**

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Waiting for the Night_

According to physiology, the eyelid was a thin fold of skin that covered and protected the eye, but he _knew_ that the definition couldn't be accurate. Those _thin_ folds of skin over his eyes felt lead heavy and glued shut. Then again maybe it was just him. Maybe that was so, because his sleep had been unsurprisingly restless with cropped images of memories, each overlapping the other in a cacophony of half uttered sentences and uncomprehending expressions. Defying all that, his exhausted body had managed to kayo him into a near comatose state. In fact, he doubted that he had even moved, considering how his limbs tingled as he stretched. What time was it? His eyelids were heavy enough over his eyes, but- true to definition in _this _respect- too thin to block out the light.

"Yare, yare…" a smooth baritone noted. "You _are_ alive."

Charcoal eyes defied the weight of their lids and snapped open in alarm. Across from him, perched on the window sill, sat a silver-haired man wearing a mask and a cloth with a small, worn metallic plaque that drooped over his left eye. The man was holding a book- the cover of which read the suspicious title _Icha Icha_ something- and hadn't bothered to look up from it. Was he so predictable that there was no need to check his reaction? Sasuke arched a brow at him.

Apparently, the other man had an extra eye hidden somewhere, because he responded to the quizzical look he was receiving. "You haven't moved as long as I've been here." He explained with no real interest in his voice. "I figure that you'd either wake up soon or the smell would _really _set in. In any case… you should always take a shower after a mission. Even ones that you don't recall."

Was he being made fun of? That was rather unwise- his nerves were entirely shot and right about then he could kick a puppy. Sasuke's eyes moved to the spot next to him, intending to have Naruto make the introductions, but the bed was empty. A small folded note on the pillow had replaced the blonde's form. It wasn't nearly as comforting and it actually made his heart clench in anxious anticipation for some reason. _A memory..?_ Or maybe plain trepidation about the contents of the note after the previous night. For whatever reason, he didn't reach for it, but simply stared back at the other man, who still hadn't graced him with so mach as a glace.

"Naruto left early in the morning." He said a little too knowingly. "He's leading a mission to capture the ninja who did this to you. Apparently he wasn't quite as _dead_ as he thought."

Sasuke's brows creased into a frown. "That ninja… he sounds dangerous."

"He must be, if he did this to you." The man agreed.

It took him more than a moment to gather the nerve in order to ask his next question, pretty sure that he wouldn't like the answer. "Can he do it to Naruto?"

"Chances are." He supplied a little too casually considering the significance of what the query.

"Then you should have stopped him." He said quite edgily, but quickly tempered it with, "No reason to possibly have two people in this state."

With a drawn-out sigh, the silver-haired man closed his book and got to his feet. "History has taught us to stay out of Naruto's way when it comes to you."

His scowl was a moment shy of becoming a permanent addition to his face, but, instead, he forced his features to smooth over to a disinterested expression. "And you would be..?" he changed the subject, feeling a little wary of the other man's easy-going- if not outright _lazy-_ attitude.

"Name is Hatake Kakashi." He said. "Your village-appointed baby-sitter."

His village-appointed _what_? "Excuse me?"

If the man noticed the indignation in his tone, apparently he paid it no mind because his voice carried in the same idle manner. "Well, the general concession is that you should not be alone and I have some experience looking after you."

He didn't even bother to hide just how unconvinced he was. Maybe he hadn't been blatant enough. "You do?"

The man probably smiled, because his visible eye turned upwards to an amused crescent. "It'll come to you." He dismissed. "For now, get dressed."

Considering the previous night, he didn't feel nearly ready to be around people- but that was not something he wanted to admit to to a man that obviously wasn't taking him too seriously. "Where are we going?"

"Out. Boy meets world. Again." He replied simply, then added meaningfully. "You _do _want your memories back, right?"

Sasuke didn't try to suppress his scowl this time, as he watched the older man leave the room, before he rose and went through his closet picking out a shirt and pants very similar to his attire from the previous night. He opted for a shower first, deciding that since the other man had suggested it, he could also wait until he was done taking him up on the suggestion. Besides, he was in no particular hurry to _meet world_.

The water hit his body like a thousand needles- cold at first, then slowly warming to what was almost relaxing heat, before becoming uncomfortably hot. It took him a moment to realize that his skin was protesting to the temperature in the form of a flustered hue that spread all across his body. It was reason enough to adjust the water hot/cold ratio to more humane levels. He was about to reach for his shower gel when he realized that there were two of them there. Without really thinking, he took one on each hand and popped the caps, taking a whiff of both scents. One was a strange mixture of jasmine and juniper- somewhat flowery, but a little bitter- which was oddly familiar, making him decide that it was _his_. It surprised him that he could even name the scents, but he assumed that it all went back to that woman's theory that his memory was suppressed and his skills, his knowledge was still there.

Charcoal eyes moved to the second container more than a little hesitantly, but, after taking a deep breath, he brought it to his nose. _Cotton flowers and honeysuckle_. It made him think of warm, sunny days, it gave him a feeling of intimacy and safety. He closed and cap and put the bottle back on the metallic rack, resolving that he would have never picked this for himself. Pretending that it didn't remind him of Naruto- because, underneath all those welcome notions and impressions, lay something unmistakably and deeply erotic. It was something he was unprepared for and unwilling to explore. It was something that he let trickle down with the water- out of his mind- in steady streams that soaked his hair before continuing down his body.

When he stepped back into the room, his eyes fell on the orange robe that had fallen on the floor. He picked it up and placed it back inside his closet, carefully avoiding any thoughts about what he was doing or why. He got dressed and paused to look at the still-folded note. He stood there, staring at it on its place on the pillow, like a prized possession. His jaw-line finally set and he picked it up, putting it in his pocket- again without reading it.

A few steps from the front door he heard indistinct conversations. Was someone joining them? Part of him hoped so, because if the older man meant to continue with that sardonic attitude, things would start hitting the fan very soon and would not be evenly distributed. Taking a deep breath, he squared his shoulders and stepped out with an air of self-confidence that he didn't feel. At first he thought he had been hallucinating because no one was there aside from that man. After a moment, and several steps closer he noticed a small pug that was wearing a similar cloth on its head as the guy- _Kakashi_, was it?- over his eye and a blue vest. He made a conscious effort not to laugh at. Was that the village's mascot or something? That dog looked ridiculous.

"Yo, Sasuke." The pug greeted dully. "Up to no good again?"

The talking dog made Sasuke pause dead on his tracks. Okay- _now_ he was hallucinating. He looked at Kakashi. "Is that your dog?"

The silver haired man arched a brow. "In the most general sense of the word."

Even asking seemed absurd. "… Does it speak?"

Kakashi's visible eye widened in surprise and he took a step towards him. "You can hear him _speak_?" he asked incredulously.

_That's it- I lost it… _Sasuke was about to start hyperventilating as, apparently, the older man had no idea what he was talking about. _Apparently_, only _he_ could hear the dog speak _human_. And mock him too. That was pretty abnormal, wasn't it? As in "serious mental condition" abnormal? Right then, though, the main symptom of his mental meltdown snorted rather disgruntled and gave Kakashi what seemed like a glare.

"Kakashi." The pug warned. "Don't mess with the boy's head." Then added, amused. "He doesn't need your help with that."

He decided that he could kick _this _puppy. "It _does_ speak." He deadpanned, allowing accusation to infuse his words.

The other man was unphased. "Never said he didn't." he said reasonably and thoroughly ignored the death-glare he was getting. "This is Pakkun." He introduced and the pug mock-saluted in acknowledgement. "He will let the Hokage know that you're up and your situation unchanged."

He watched the small dog disappear on the roofs and took a deep breath, tempering his annoyance. Though he did not remember Kakashi, he _had to _trust that he was someone that he had been close to, in that past life that he couldn't rightly recall, that allowed this kind of teasing and talk. Everyone had been walking around him in eggshells thus far- even Naruto, even in that mysterious way- and it sickened him, made him feel _fragile. _But_ this_ guy treated him like he could _take_ all that ill humor. Kakashi treated him like he wasn't going to crack and break at the mere shadow of a wrong word. It filled him with relief.

All that, he would not admit out loud- he didn't feel that he had to- as they started walking. Nonetheless, soon as they were out of the compound, that Naruto had referred to as the Uchiha mansion, he felt rather insecure and exposed. It hadn't been quite this bad the previous day and he had to wonder why. The day before he had been entirely empty, he didn't know anyone, didn't feel anything of what had been lost. After the previous night he knew that there were people that he had loved and lost, people that he was _attached_ to in the present. People that annoyed him. He chanced a look at Kakashi who had gone back to reading his book.

"Aren't you supposed to be showing me around… or something?" he asked, surprising himself with the need to talk.

Kakashi, however, didn't even look up, but stated in a monotone. "Bookstore to your right, grocery store to your left, restaurants are further down the road."

"Yes, I can read signs." The raven said gruffly. "What is _your_ part here?"

The older man stared at him then, in a way that made his outburst subside. There was something very knowing and serious in those eyes and he immediately decided that he preferred the 'lackadaisical Kakashi' to this- this dark reflection that resonated with him in all the wrong ways. Something inside him knew that they were _alike _in some way, but it was a mirror he wasn't ready to look into quite yet.

"My part here is to make sure you keep it together, if something happens." He began simply. "Your job is to try to remember. Let's hope that you can do yours, without me having to do mine."

And with that, as though he hadn't just delivered a grim forecast, he opened the book and started walking indolently down the street, once again. They passed by restaurants and, in a couple of instances, something appeared a little more familiar, but the feeling dissipated when he had tried to grasp it. Everything he was and had been was floating around him like soap-bubbles, bursting at the merest touch. It was unfair and frustrating. It was enough to make him want to go home- and he had been about to ask the older man to take him back- but then he spotted a street vendor- or close enough to that. The stand was small and smelled rather unappetizing. The sign read "Ichiraku's Ramen".

"Are you hungry?" Kakashi asked.

Hungry? He hadn't even realized that his feet had come to a halt in front of the place. No, he really _wasn't _hungry, but the embarrassing way his stomach protested, made it impossible to make a convincing case. "I suppose…" he admitted, wondering when had been the last time that he had eaten. It wasn't yesterday evening or night, after he had come to.

"Come on." The other man said and lifted the small drape, revealing a few plain stools. The raven noticed that Kakashi's brow creased a little and then amusement crinkled in his visible eye. Before he had the chance to ask anything, Pakkun jumped a few feet from them and seemed to gesture at the ninja to come closer. "I'll be there in a moment." Kakashi excused himself.

Sasuke shrugged and settled down, looking at the menu. _Ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen and… more ramen._ He supposed that with such _originality_ demonstrated by the amount of choice, _Ichiraku_ could only be the name of the owner. He also felt as though as he was being stared at. Trying mot to come across as overly paranoid, he looked up from the menu and to his left. As it turned out, he wasn't _overly _paranoid, because, at the far end of the small kiosk, sat a pale guy with long brown hair and lavender eyes, dressed in white. Said guy was currently glaring daggers at him. Though he _did _try his best to ignore it, the persistent glare made it impossible to focus even on the menu.

Finally, he gave up and faced the other boy. "Excuse me- what exactly is your problem?" he asked impatiently.

The other boy scoffed and looked away. "It was _your_ idea to try and act _civil_ around each other- for Naruto's sake." He replied loftily. "I do not consider being ignored as sticking to your part of the deal."

Sasuke arched a brow. From the sounds of it, he had _never_ gotten along with this one, but had been willing to strike a pack with him _for Naruto_. Which meant that the blonde was one thing they did have in common. And maybe he could get some information out of him on the matter.

"Ohayo, Sasuke-kun!" a young brunette greeted him from behind the tall counter. "Will it be your usual?"

So he had been coming here often enough to have a _usual_. "Yes- thank you." He said, trying to sound like he knew what she was talking about and, after she disappeared into the back, he turned to the boy that he had unintentionally offended. "Listen-"

"You're not the only one with _humility_ issues." The guy cut in, narrowing his strange eyes. "I suppose Naruto isn't quite reason enough for you to move past your pride, after all."

Okay, he _had_ to ignore the little jibe about the blonde for now, because his accuser was getting waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of himself. "I can promise you that I have a couple more issues than you right about now. I-"

"Are you going to turn this into a contest?" afore-mentioned accuser went on with his verbal jabbing.

If they continued like this, he wouldn't get a word out. However tempted he was to simply tell the annoying guy off, he had to admit that he didn't know anything about anything or anyone at that point, so he tried- _really _tried- to remain focused on the matter at hand. It's just that he wasn't getting any co-operation._ For Kami's sake… _Sasuke sighed. "Can you shut up for two seconds?"

The other boy's eyes widened, his expression flabbergasted. Something about him screamed of nobility and some sort of high status. All the same, the guy's reaction also told him that his phrasing had been uncharacteristic of him. After several moments that those pale eyes considered him, he nodded. "Fine."

Sasuke exhaled in mild relief that he didn't have to argue further in order to explain himself. "Thank you." He said, attempting to amend the previous curtness, but the boy's arched brows informed him that this wasn't like him either. "I currently have no memory of my past…" he offered, with the uncomfortable sensation of a wounded pride. He didn't want to admit _weakness_- especially not to that person that felt like an antagonist. "I didn't ignore you, I just don't remember you."

Arched brows drew together in a scowl. "What happened?" he asked with unexpected concern.

Maybe they weren't friends per se, but the change in attitude helped him relax just a little. He shrugged. "From what I've been told, something went wrong during my last mission with Naruto-"

"Is Naruto hurt?" he interrupted again.

Not 'are _you_' okay, but 'is _Naruto_ okay'. It _could be_ that he was paranoid after all, reading into things- because he _certainly _wasn't _oversensitive_. That question was logical- since him being there answered about his well being- but,in that moment, Sasuke suspected that the source of his concern wasn't really him, but Naruto. Perhaps him as well, but as an _extension_ to Naruto's well-being. They must have had a pretty close relationship- at least he assumed that much and realized that he felt curiously territorial. _Imagine that_…

"Naruto is fine, Neji." A new voice supplied in a chastising tone.

A girl with brown hair pulled up in tight buns settled next to the _unpleasant_ guy- a.k.a. Neji- accompanied by the pink haired girl from the hospital- Sakura?- and another guy in green spandex. Sakura sat next to him and the green-spandex boy filled the space between her and the brunette. It all made Sasuke feel crowded- crammed in a very small place and all he wanted to do was escape. Mentally, he wished he had gone along with his initial plan to return home and cursed at Kakashi for taking forever and a day with his dog. Outwardly, he simply shifted his eyes from Neji to the newcomers, nodding in acknowledgement.

"Sakura told us what happened on our way here." The girl explained, then shot Neji a look that didn't seem to affect him. "Obviously we didn't make it in time to keep my teammate here from making an ass of himself."

Neji blinked, his face conveying some annoyance and definite familiarity with the girl. "I resent that." He said, sounding peeved, though not too much.

It would have probably turned into a long argument that would have run several circles around itself, if the topic hadn't shifted with the next words. "How are you feeling Sasuke-san?" the green-spandex guy asked, voice and eyes conveying honest interest in _his_ well being. The boy's dark eyes widened, before he quickly added, "I am Rock Lee. I am Sakura's, uh-" he frowned a little, mentally slapping himself, before comically pointing with both hands at the pink-haired girl, "- this is Sakura- her boyfriend." And he blushed a little, then frowned a little again. "Uh- Sakura used to be your teammate-"

Everyone else had quieted down and simply watched as Lee tried to explain, reference after reference, what should have ended with his introduction. Better yet, it should have ended right after he had asked the Uchiha that question pertaining to his well-being. Now the boy seemed simple enough, speaking his mind very plainly and directly- it was after he mentioned the word 'boyfriend' that he had started to unravel.

"I'm not doing too bad, all things considered." He said, trying to ignore his own discomfort at the situation in light of how embarrassed _Lee_ was getting with each sentence that left his lips.

"I saw Naruto before he left in the morning." Sakura said, her hand closing over her _boyfriend's_, before adding for his ears alone. "He said you had a difficult time last night and that you remembered some things about…" she hesitated. "… your past."

Why would Naruto tell her? An old teammate. Was that enough? Who was that girl to him- to _them_? To him _and _Naruto. "Now is not the time to discuss that." He said tightly, as a feeling of betrayal crawled to his expression that the girl seemed able to read with exceptional ease.

She rolled her eyes. "I am the Hokage's aide, Sasuke." She reminded him. "I was there when Naruto reported to her and got debriefed for his mission.

The brunette materialized a bowl of foul smelling noodle soup right in front of him. "I hope you enjoy!" she said exuberantly and started taking orders from the rest.

Sakura let Lee order for her, which he did indulgently, so that she may continue with her conversation. The way that the boy carried himself was remarkably dignified and gentlemanly. "But in _any _case… I'll kick your ass and make you eat your words when you're back to normal."

It all made Sasuke wonder what the hell a guy like that was doing with a girl like _her. Probably burning bad karma… _he thought dourly at the creepy smile on her face that made the fine hair on the back of his neck stand. "I didn't _say_ anything." He protested, hoping that he didn't sound alarmed. At least not as alarmed as he was feeling.

"You didn't have to." She replied with that same smile. "Anyway, the good news is that we have a better idea about what you came across so the mission should run smoother. You probably wouldn't know who is who, but the people with Naruto are strong and reliable."

"What that guy does is not my concern." He said and sounded as though he believed it- as if his heart hadn't clenched when the mission came up, as if he wasn't carrying the folded note in is pocket, afraid of what it might say.

Sakura actually chuckled at that. "Yeah- right." She said with unadorned disbelief. "I'll remind you you said that when you get your memories back."

Instead of further pursuing information about the mission, about Naruto's skill, about the level of competence of the outbound team, be busied himself with his food. Really, no assurance would have been good enough for him right then. He brought the noodles and some obscure toppings to his mouth and immediately regretted it. It was dreadful- simply dreadful! What in the world was he thinking, being a regular in a place like that? Maybe he used to have his memories back then, but he obviously lacked a _brain_. This stuff was _nasty_!

"You never could finish this without Naruto's help." Sakura said and this time her smile was almost gentle.

There were so many questions that he wanted to ask about _that_, but already knew he wouldn't have so he didn't mind too much when Kakashi interrupted them, stepping next to him. It seemed as though as he was most revered among those people, because the air was suddenly filled with respectful greetings and one might think that everyone was holding their breath, waiting for the older man to speak. When he spoke though, it was significantly less impressive than pearls of wisdom- to Sasuke, at least.

"Apparently, Tsunade-sama believes that _exposure_ therapy is a bad idea after last night." He said a little awkwardly at his charge's sour expression. "She thinks that it's best to allow you to digest things while we're waiting for Naruto to return."

_Waiting for Naruto to return_. It filled him with a sense of relief, because it almost sounded as though the blonde's return was a certainty with a definite timetable. "That's fine." He said dryly, keeping his emotions to himself. "I'm done here anyway."

As he rose, Sakura turned to face him. "You've always been terrible at failing, Sasuke- it's not you. I know you'll be fine, whether you get your memories back or not." She said matter-of-factly. "And try to keep in mind that what matters the most is not who you have lost, but who is _here_ for you now. Who loves you."

There was some hidden meaning in her words that his fractured mind could not piece together, but he appreciated the sentiment. Maybe Lee was on to something, after all. "Thank you." He said simply. "Sakura."

The pink haired girl smiled and took a deep breath before turning around and giving her full attention to the boy beside her. Her eyes danced with happiness and contentment even though Lee was simply pointing at the menu- was that _love_? If it was, he wondered what the emotion had been in Naruto's eyes that first time that he had said his name the previous night. It wasn't anything like what he was seeing in Sakura's emerald eyes, but rather the rumble of something deep and powerful that entirely eluded him. Or perhaps he didn't want- wasn't ready- to approach. The _unpleasant_ guy had also mellowed out, his features open and soft as the girl with the buns spoke about something lost to him. Had he ever caught himself feeling like this around someone- just watching, mystified and spellbound by nothing at all.

"Ready?" Kakashi probed.

He had probably been standing there for a short while. "Yeah." He replied tiredly.

On the way home, the silver haired man was quiet beside him- not reading his filthy book, but simply walking next to him in companionable silence. Did he know him so well that he could tell when he didn't want to talk? _Who is here for you_. Maybe Sakura had a point and it would be that thought that would pull him down to a restful sleep this night. _Who loves you_. Unconsciously, he fumbled for the note in his pocket and closed his eyes for a moment.

Before he knew it they were back. It amazed him because it really had seemed so much longer on the way out. Also, he had somehow lost track of time, because the sun was hanging low on the horizon and the nightfall was crawling at the edge of the horizon. It all added up, he supposed, considering that he had woken up late and they had walked around quite a bit. Kakashi mentioned something about sleeping in one of the many rooms of his house, close enough to his, in case he needed anything, but he didn't pay too much attention. He was still tired, still a stranger to his own life- and already sick of the feeling.

Dropping his shirt on the floor, he sat at the edge of his bed, on the side that Naruto had slept the previous night. It just hit him that it was the blonde's side after he had settled there, without intentionally choosing to do so- but it was somehow comforting and he would swear that he could still feel the other boy's warmth on the covers. Sasuke lay down there, staring at the ceiling for several moments, before he sighed and reached into his pocket, fishing out the folded note. Charcoal eyes studied it, as though there was something intricate about it and then he unfolded it- finally summoning up the courage to confront with Naruto's words.

It read simply, _Be back soon_, and his breath caught in his lungs. It had been all he had wanted to hear- all he had wanted to know.

"You better." He whispered to no one and closed his eyes.

As he held the small piece of paper in his hand, the rumble of that unknown emotion sounded closer and his heart beckoned to whatever it was- to come closer, to remember, to embrace.

Sasuke's dark eyes opened slowly, choking in them the last rays of sunlight, before the night fell heavy and encompassing. "Enough." He said- to himself, to his heart, to the ghostly vision of the blonde beside him. "That's enough now…"

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And that's the new chappie that took forever… You like? I hope so! Drop me a line- I love hearing from you guys! ^.^ Next chapter will be Naruto on his mission- along with Ino, Kiba, Hinata and Shikamaru. Yup, that's the team. I promise I will try to write and update soon! Huggies to all!

Ja!

M.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Hey, mina-san! Long time no write, I know, but the manga had given me a huge writer's block. I just could not get in the zone… Kishimoto made me sad… ::sighs:: BUT… Here's the new chappie and I hope it pleases you. Thank you wonderful people for reading and, as always, extra thanks and e-huggies to my reviewers. ^.^ On a personal note, I feel the need to give my HUGE thanks to **xox-'.'-K-A-G-O-M-E-'.'-xox **for listening to my endless rants about all the ways that the manga is just killing me. I also feel the need to shamelessly advertise her wonderful story Blood Stained Breaths that has made my days and nights- because it's SasuNaru and Sasuke suffers enough… ah, the fluffiness~! ^.^ You guys- who bother with my author's notes…- should definitely check it out. It's a keeper. :-)

My anon. readers: **Hoshi no… **Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiit! You're not anon, just having a Sasuke moment with your password. ^.^ I hope you got everything back, but in the mean time thank you so much for your review! Small change is Hinata is not on the team, because it got too crowded… Explanations follow. ;-) **Kakashi's Dog- **You insist on remaining anon after all this time. ;-) I'm glad you like my Kakashi and Sasuke… and- muahahahahaha- YES! You WILL like LEE! It's like, my mission in this world. Lol **Kiki** – I probably mentioned Sai somewhere, but he won't be on this chapter… sorry.. I hope you enjoy **Mo - **Kakashi making Sasuke freak out about Pakkun was a scene I had a LOT of fun writing so I'm happy you enjoyed it. ^.^ Thank you for letting me know! :-)

**Disclaimer**: Sticking to the way of the Budha, I own nothing on this world. … Maybe eventually I won't mind either. ;-)

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Games of the Mind_

Missions had taken him away from Konoha for weeks at a time- the worst of them for _months_, but there were only a couple of those that he could readily recall. Being away had always come with a feeling of urgency to go back home- because he _had _a home. By that he did not think of just the walls around him and the roof over his head, but the feeling of _being_ home, having someone to come home _to_- someone who _missed_ him when he was away, who would worry if he was late coming back. It was unfair that the worry of his friends had never quite given him that feeling. Unfair to them- because they had been there when _he_ was not. They had taken him in, when _he_ had chosen a path that had taken him far, far way from anything that could be called home- the roof, the walls, the village… him.

Naruto landed a bit harder on the next branch, trying to push those thoughts out of his mind. All he did was further hurt himself, going round and round in that mental carousel that only emphasized that right then he wasn't missed, no one was counting the minutes and hours until he returned to Konoha.

_At least not Sasuke…_

And because it wasn't Sasuke- it _couldn't be_ Sasuke, because the Uchiha didn't remember him, didn't know that, one night, he had confessed that he felt the same each time he had been away- it didn't matter who it was that was missing him. _Unfair, unfair, unfair. _Unfair, but true. Uzumaki Naruto was a terrible liar and he couldn't lie to himself any more than he could lie to others.

A spectral image of the Uchiha rushed ahead of him, in a speed that he could never match no matter how much he would hasten his pace. The ghostly Sasuke looked at him over his shoulder with a stern expression. _"Usuratonkachi… you're distracted again."_

"You know that the world is not what is used to be when a guy like you can go quiet for so long." Kiba's voice was moderately playful, somewhat reprimanding and more than a little concerned, as Akamaru matched his speed.

The voice startled him. It was amazing that his imaginary best friend had felt more real to him than his own companions. The Inuzuka boy's canine smirk floated at the edge of his field of vision, but he kept his gaze straight ahead, into the forest. Sasuke wasn't there now, but he had made his point. "I'll be damned if I fall for the same trap twice."

The comment earned him a bark from Akamaru- being a man's best friend and all. "Oh…" Kiba arched a brow. "Is that your _subtle_ way of telling me to shut my mouth and use my nose?"

Naruto scoffed. "Don't be an idiot." he paused on the next branch. "You don't want what happened to Sasuke, happening to you… Maybe _I_'d point and laugh at your stupidity, but _others_ would get hurt." He added meaningfully, his eyes darting back momentarily to check on the rest of his team. Shikamaru had just mumbled something that had made Ino chuckle. "And _others_ might be unsurprisingly okay with it. Like Neji."

That last part earned him a frown, more than likely because what he had said was all too true. Neji had taken to stabbing Kiba with glares and not letting him out of his sight- Konoha's "Most Wanted" had received nicer treatment by the Hyuuga than him. It had all been quite mystifying to Naruto, until he had noticed that the Hyuuga heiress would often interlace her fingers with her teammate's and sometimes even rest her head on his shoulder. It hadn't been _quite_ as unexpected as Sakura and Lee, but harder to put two and two together- because he was rarely around both of them- so maybe Sasuke had been right that he had been the last to notice. Now he knew that his friend had a serious crush on Hinata- who was the only other person that Akamaru would take for a ride. _Crush_… Not quite fitting, since Kiba seemed to have eyes for no other- and probably never had had before. Kiba and Lee were entirely different breeds, yet somehow both of them had always known who their heart had encompassed. Things hadn't been quite as obvious to him. In _his _defense, it _had _to be marginally less complicated when the object of one's affections was a member of the _opposite_ sex.

"Sasuke will be alright. You couldn't take that bastard down with an army." The Inuzuka boy said rolling his eyes theatrically, then added a little more quietly as he probably noticed that the blonde wasn't laughing. "You _know_ that, right?"

Naruto's lips thinned into a tight line. "… Yeah." He nodded with no real conviction.

Yes, he knew it. It wasn't that he didn't believe it- he really did. And that's why it hurt, however assuring the concept. Sasuke would be okay _with_ or _without_ him, whereas the idea that what they had was lost- not because of choice or a terrible argument or death, but just like that- would always eat away at him. The idea that Sasuke might never remember what had made their bond so strong, filled his heart with panic. The emotion was too strong for a single person to bear- it required both of them, both him _and _Sasuke- or it might crush him.

Imaginary Sasuke had been crouching on the branch beside him, but stood at that, privy to his inner dialogue. _"Do you really believe that?" _he asked in a voice that no one else could hear, as it carried with annoyance and undertone hurt. _"Everything we've been through- all we've __**done**__- has not been enough for you. I don't get you. You believed, when no one else would and __**now **__your faith wavers."_

"Why did we stop?" Ino asked, scanning the forest around them. "Are we here?"

Naruto ignored the spectral accusations and pointed at a small opening ahead. "That's where I had found Sasuke." He said softly, feeling three sets of sympathetic eyes on him. Was he really so obvious or did his friends naturally infer that he would be torn considering that the Uchiha was supposed to be his best friend? Right then, he knew that he should, but honestly didn't care how transparent he was. "Kiba, Akamaru."

The other boy dismounted his oversized dog and closed his eyes, allowing his already honed sense of smell to be augmented, already aware of what he had to do. "Hai, hai." He acknowledged in a deliberately light tone, as he took a big whiff of the scents on the ground- he knew Sasuke's, knew Naruto's. "Gotcha." He smirked as he pinpointed their target's scent. That would serve as his beacon as he tried to locate him.

Kiba usually worked better if left alone and not pressured, so he crouched on the branch and closed his eyes, taking several breaths before he opened them again and looked straight ahead to the small glade he had indicated. That ninja should have died then and, even though he was thankful for whatever information they would extract that might help Sasuke, the fact remained that he had screwed up. The idea had been to kill that guy and he had failed. What had he missed? Had he been in such a hurry to get the Uchiha home that he had forgotten about the objective of his mission?

The Uchiha smirked, materializing beside him once again. _"What an amateur mistake…" _he reprimanded half seriously. But he _was_ at least _half_-serious. _"A genin knows better than that, Dobe."_

"I made the same _amateur _mistakes in every rank when it came to _you_, Teme." He muttered under his breath, finally giving up on his insane urge to respond to the incorporeal being beside him and got a small sense of satisfaction at the way that his response wiped that haughty smirk. "You have _always_ come first to me."

Shikamaru squatted next to him. "How is Sasuke doing?" he asked.

Naruto's eyes snapped to his left, the timely question making him wonder if perhaps the genius could see the Uchiha that was currently glaring at him. How _was_ Sasuke doing? He had left before the other boy was up and his behavior the previous night was full of mixed messages- other than that breakdown. The breakdown was the only thing that he had known how to deal with.

"He seems to have recalled some of the massacre." The blonde responded, then added. "Bits and pieces."

"Was it a good idea to leave him then?" Ino's voice carried with confusion. "You're his…" she paused for a moment then rephrased. "You're the closest to him."

"Sasuke doesn't remember that." He retorted somewhat curtly.

His retort drew a small gasp from the blond girl, whose blue eyes widened a little with concern. It wasn't just her- Shikamaru was frowning at him. Apparently he had rather marginalized how people around him perceived his attachment to Sasuke- how words like those seemed unthinkable with regards to his _best_ _friend_. _You're the closest to him_. Ino was right. He should have stayed behind and let his comrades handle this – his _friends_, who would make sure that the mission was a success, because they _did_ care about Sasuke; and they cared about how much _he _cared about Sasuke.

This time he didn't steal a glance, didn't want to know what had registered on that perfect face that he loved so much. "Relax guys." he added, forcing a smile that did not seem to convince anyone. "Kakashi-sensei is with him. It's fine."

It was cowardice- for the first time in his life, he had been a coward and had run away instead of dealing with the issue staring at him in the face. Staring at him through eyes that showed little, if any, of their familiar spark, unaware of their history, their bond, their _emotions_. He had run from that, had run from the hurt, from the frustration- the helplessness- and into this forest, looking for a half-dead ninja that might have one last ace up his sleeve. For the first time in _both _their lives, it had been Naruto that was running away- not avoiding a confrontation, but _really_ running away- from Sasuke.

Sasuke's chuckle surprised him. _"Is that what you call __**running**__? You're practically dragging me along for this." _He said, sounding amused. Naruto thought that if he _really_ wanted to run, maybe he should go to _him_ for advice. That thought seemed to shut him up very agreeably.

"Who are you really punishing, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked evenly, his dark, clever eyes fixed on his face, his frown deepening a little as he probably caught the nuances of his expression, even as he had no idea about his inner dialogue. "Sasuke for getting himself into this… or yourself for not being there to stop it from happening?"

It was a particularly astute question. Nothing less could be expected of Konoha's Ace, after all. The answer was _both_- because Sasuke _did_ have a tendency to get himself, and then drag everyone else, into all sorts of messes. However, that was something that Naruto had known very well when he let himself be talked into leaving him behind. Fortunately, he wouldn't have to continue with this, because Kiba had at last spotted their target.

"I found him." he announced.

Naruto got to his feet, his muscles flexing as his body prepared for action. He really had to find something to do with all that red-hot energy he had been carting around. Something physical would always work best. _Really_ physical. Like a good ol' life-or-death fight. "Where?"

"About half a mile north." he replied, then a twinge of hesitation flickered in his eyes. "But… almost as strong as his scent is the smell of blood on him. Naruto… unless he killed someone very recently he could be bleeding to death…"

That was enough to redirect his energy to a very productive and speedy advance towards their target. If the guy died, all of this would have been for nothing. All of this would have brought them no closer to the way in which that cursed jutsu could be reversed. Such a thing was unacceptable. His mind was playing tricks on him again, because he was sure that Sasuke's voice has cautioned him to be careful.

"We don't know anything about that ninja, other than that he's trouble." Shikamaru offered from right behind them. "Don't do anything… rush."

Naruto appreciated that the genius was very conservative with words like '_stupid'_. "Hai." He confirmed. "I go in first, then you keep him in place while Ino checks on him."

The other boy smirked a little. "I'm relieved that you remember the plan." he said with no real amusement, before addressing the remaining two member of the team. "Kiba, Ino, fall back for now. He may need to be tended to after we secure him."

Ino's features showed some of her frustration. She hated being the fifth wheel and, considering how hard she had worked to become strong, she hated finding herself in that position. Kiba squeezed her shoulder reassuringly and, just like that, with no words, she smiled again. The canine boy would aften surprise him with his understanding and his ability to make people smile.

With a sigh, he shook his head. Blue eyes blinked as he noticed that something didn't seem to quite match nature's tapestry. "There." He said quietly, bringing his teammates to a halt. "He's right there."

_Iwao_. That was the name of the man who lay against a tree trunk, breathing heavily in the quiet of the forest. Though his face was buried nose-high into a dusty, gray scarf, his eyes tired and half-closed, though his clothes were torn and blood stained, the team halted in apprehension. Five people had been sent out to capture _one_- five _very_ skilled people. It _would_ take skill to capture him alive- Kiba was there to _track_ down, Naruto to _beat_ down, Shikamaru to _hold_ down and Ino to tend to anyone who _went_ down. The Godaime was hell-bent on not taking the chance of having another amnesiac ninja or wasting a valuable source of information as to how this jutsu could be reversed. And Sasuke's ghost? Well, he had Naruto's personal invitation and was tagging along just to annoy him- just because he was _so _lame that he couldn't be without him and even an imaginary Sasuke was better than no Sasuke.

Naruto's eyes narrowed- at the man, at himself. This guy was supposed to have died a couple of days before, but he hadn't and _could_ have escaped- by all accounts _should_ have- yet there he was, very close to where he and Sasuke had fought. Where he had beaten Sasuke. Was it arrogance? No. He was far too beaten to be arrogant.

"I know you're there." He said then and got to his feet using the tree for support. "Let's get this over with."

No reason to hide, if he already knew they were there. As he moved, he thought that Shikamaru had started to say something, but he didn't really get what it was. All he wanted was to get this over with- find an answer, even if that meant that whatever had happened to Sasuke couldn't be reversed. Even if it meant that he was stuck, bearing the weight of their history alone, even if it meant that the Uchiha would never remember how he used to feel about him- all that was okay, as long as he had a definitive answer. Impatience would one day be his fall, much like pride had always been the raven's sin.

Folding his arms, imaginary Sasuke looked at him, very much the way real Sasuke had, before he had told him that he could handle Iwao. _"Don't get yourself killed, Dobe."_

_Right, Teme… _In one swift jump, be landed a few feet from their target. Blue eyes narrowing, back foot sweeping back as his kunai came up, ready to attack. "How about you come along willingly and make this easier on all of us?" he offered tersely.

Iwao arched a white brow, then cackled unpleasantly. "Well… what do we have here?" he straightened his body, pulling a jagged katana from its sheath on his back. "Wasn't killing me once enough for you, boy?"

"You're pretty chatty for a dead man." Naruto observed, his eyes quickly scanning for Ino and Shikamaru. Maybe he should have listened more carefully. "The Hokage has a couple of questions for you. Answer them and you might cut yourself a deal."

"Oh?" the older man stared back at him through emerald eyes that seemed almost feline- more so as they crinkled with amusement. "The Hokage is willing to cut me a deal even after damaging her Uchiha? To my understanding he's the last of his kind."

Maybe he should have listened to what Shikamaru had to say, instead of responding to his imaginary friend- or just maybe having a brain of his own might have come in handy in situations like these. Because it was an obvious coax and yet he took the bait like an amateur, lunging at him full of openings that his enemy could use against him. Would he have been this emotional about anyone else? He didn't want to think about that, because if he were to admit that the Uchiha had become his weakness, reason would urge him to do something about it. Good thing he wasn't big on reason.

Metal clang against metal, punches were traded and kicks flew and each time that he'd think that he had the other man cornered, he's slip past him, countering with attacks that weren't meant to cause him any serious amount of damage. "Come on!" he just about yelled frustrated. Frustrated that he was being toyed with. "Come at me, you bastard."

"Come at you?" that same cackle filled the air between them. "If I cheated death, if I beat an Uchiha at his own game, what chance do _you_ think you stand against me kid?"

That was right. He seemed to have cheated death. And apparently, he _had_ beaten an Uchiha. _But_. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that a shadow grew in Iwao's direction. _I see…_ "My chances are not too bad actually." He smiled a little as the shadow started to wrap around the man's legs.

By the time Iwao realized what had happened it was already too late. Maybe if he hadn't been weakened by blood-loss, his reflexes would have been better. Maybe he might have been able to break the jutsu. However, between Shikamaru's skill and his own punching power, the guy didn't stand a real chance there and then. So, this was the boogey-man that had gotten to Sasuke. Part of him wished that this fight would have somehow explained how it was possible, instead it had left him with more questions.

"_Kage Kubi Shibari no Jutsu_ complete." Shikamaru announced, as he stepped out from behind the bush, then added a rather disgruntled, "Took you long enough…", before calling over his shoulder, "Clear."

Kiba, Akamaru and Ino materialized beside him. One of the best things about having been teamed up with Sasuke for so long- and even before their relationship took a sharp turn to intimacy- had been the way that they intuitively, wordlessly knew how to move around each other. The times that they had verbally formulated a plan of action could be counted in the fingers of one hand. The worst thing about being used to that extraordinary connection was that he often forgot that he didn't have that with anyone else. He _had_ to communicate, he _had_ to listen. By being impulsive like that, he could have put the rest of his team at risk. Shikamaru didn't have to say all that.

Ino walked to Iwao, her hands lighting up with chakra as she inspected his body for injuries and chakra flow. A golden frown formed over her eyes. "Unless I heal him, he won't make it back to the village." she reported.

Shikamaru nodded. "Careful though." He cautioned. "And no eye contact. Assuming that Sasuke used his Sharingan on him, he has to have some kind of powerful eye technique to counter it."

The older man cackled again, then suddenly started coughing violently, his body shaking with effort. Ino lowered his scarf, then instinctively backed away at the sight, allowing the rest of her team to see as well. The man's square jaw was covered in a thick layer of what looked like drying blood, but was abnormally dark. He coughed again and the liquid- whatever it was- fell on the g

round sludgy and black.

Iwao looked up with those emerald eyes that sparked with determination in spite of his state. "What makes you clowns think I'm gonna help with anything, huh?" he spat. "Heal me and you'll have to watch your backs all the way to Konoha."

"He's right." Kiba said and folded his arms. "He's made no promises to help. He can't be trusted."

"Then again… if you don't heal me, I'll die and your little Uchiha will stay just the way he is. I'm the only person alive who knows the workings of this jutsu." Those green, gemstone eyes trained to Naruto's almost knowingly. "And _you_ want him back, don't you?"

Naruto held his gaze for a moment before stepping away wordlessly. It was true- very, _very _true- and, though he had no intention to actually confirm it to a guy like him, he had never been convincing at denying it either. Yes, he wanted Sasuke back- his heart, his body, his soul _ached_ for him. The feeling consumed him and he and he couldn't quite remember how he used to cope with the raven's absence, before all this.

Shikamaru's dark eyes followed him for a moment, but if he had any thought on the matter, he didn't share them with the rest of the class. "Ino." He said, conveying a wordless order.

The blonde girl nodded, "Hai.", and started working on their enemy's wounds.

"You're a gullible bunch, aren't you?" Iwao snorted. "What makes you think I'm even going to tell you the truth? I'm dying, I have nothing to lose…" he closed his eyes and smiled unpleasantly. "But maybe, I'm a vindictive bastard and I will use this last chance to take from you, what you've already taken from me- my partner. Maybe that's what's keeping me alive and you're about to make it a whole lot easier for me."

In one swift move, the blade of Naruto's kunai pressed against the man's jugular. Ino, jumped back instinctively, looking at him through startled eyes. "Naruto, wha-?" she started, reaching for him, but stoped when he turned to her.

Had his expression darkened so that it had alarmed the girl? Ino wasn't used to Naruto being like _this_- no one was really, including Naruto himself. It seemed that deep inside, he carried his own dark side and woe to the person that would manage to bring it out. In the past, he had thought that that demon was the Kyuubi, but as time went by and his leash on the Fox became firmer, he realized that the dark mirror that Sasuke had faced- and almost became during his mad hunt for Itachi- was in him too. He realized that if someone took Sasuke from him, that darkness might jump out of the mirror and choke the world.

"There." Iwao smirked, the cold steel against his neck had not been enough of a deterrent. "The panic. Not really knowing if I can help your friend or just want one more chance to turn his brain to mush."

"That's enough." He didn't have to look back and see Shikamaru's expression to know that the genius was frowning at him. "Naruto." He warned.

Iwao was obviously messing with him and he was making it far too easy by jumping through the hoops with every verbal snare. "Do you have _any_ idea what you've _done_?" he heard himself snarl.

Those emerald eyes, were no longer amused as the man looked back. "Maybe." He replied simply.

Sasuke's ghostly hand, closed around his wrist. It was obviously his imagination, but even so those charcoal eyes made his will budge. _"That's enough."_ He said in that quiet voice that he rarely used with anyone but him. _"You do want me back, don't you?"_

Ah, the voice of reason. The uncertainty he had seen in Tsunade's eyes had spoken volumes about her confusion and frustration over the jutsu. She could not understand it and that meant that, if sasuke were to stand a chance, they'd have to take that chance with their enemy. And hopefully, the Hokage would come up with some kind of leverage.

Naruto closed his eyes and pulled back. "… More than anything…" he whispered his reply to the beloved specter.

His sense of hearing had been blunted, but he was certain that Shikamaru had ordered Ino to resume and called his name. Naruto was pretty sure that he had replied that he'd be back in a moment, but then again he might have just thought he had. It was all catching up to him fast, because now Sasuke wasn't there to occupy his mind with how helpless he seemed, because the mission was over. Now he'd be reduced to waiting and hoping and praying that whatever may come would not be a terrible fiasco.

Kiba halted him placing a hand on his shoulder. Those strange eyes of his conveyed concern. Perhaps understanding as well. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah…" he said quickly. "I just need a moment to clear my head."

"Naruto…" Kiba started and would have probably said something quite accurate or painfully true.

It wasn't anything he wanted to hear right then, because he was already suffocating and anything more would simply further weigh him down. "I'll be right there. In a moment."

The other boy nodded, his features still tense with concern, and walked away. Naruto was thankful to him for not arguing. Running from Konoha had been very much like trying to swim towards the surface of a horrific body of water- he thought that the further he'd get, the closer to the surface he'd be and if he were far enough, he might even breathe. It wasn't so, though, and more and more his chest hurt as his air was running out.

"_Deep breaths, Usuratonkachi…" _imaginary Sasuke advised, his dark, liquid eyes pooling with concern and a hue of sympathy.

Naruto smirked a little sourly at the apparition. "You always have been much nicer in my head than you really are, Teme." He jibed, but then grimed. "That's how I know that you're not here."

Uncharacteristically, the Uchiha did not argue the truth of his existence or the nature of his character, but rather smirked back quite haughtily, that same way that drove the blonde insane. _"Well… I can't be all bad, if you want me back __**more than anything**__, Dobe."_

Naruto closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again Sasuke was gone and he realized that he could breath again. A smile spread on his lips that he couldn't help- because even the thought of Sasuke had such an effect on him- and it broke his heart- because in order to keep Sasuke in his life, he would learn to deal with this new reality if it came to be permanent. Because there was no incarnation of Sasuke that he wouldn't love. Sasuke had given him the breath of life- before him, he was breathing just a little and calling it life.

"Not half-bad…" he smiled a little. "… Sasuke."

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And so the chapter is finally over… ::sighs and plops on the bed:: I'm really sorry it took so long… The manga just depressed me. :-P Okay, next chapter is Sasuke. And Naruto is wrong about our little Uchiha not missing him… ^.^

Huggies~! Ja!

M.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: Hey, mina-san! I'm good with the update this time! ^.^ One reason is that Kishimoto has not crippled my source of inspiration in the last issues, though I am pretty skeptical about the going-ons... the other is that **xox-'.'-K-A-G-O-M-E-'.'-xox**is abandoning me to go visit Japan ::is green with envy:: and I kind of busted my butt to get it done as a farewell-but-get-your-butt-back-soon-and-safely gift. So she's the one to thank for my consistency. ^.^ Now many many thanks to all you guys that stick with the story and extra bear huggies to my reviewers who make me melt into a puddle often. Love you guys!

My anon readers. **Mo - **Iwao will be explaining what he was doing there, probably in the next chapter. I know I may disappoint in this way, but my stories are really not action based. I have the utmost respect for people who DO write action, but sadly, I know I'm not one of them. Iwao is a vessel for the story and an OC- and I generally try to stay away from OC..- so I will be fleshing him out, but only for the purpose of what happens and why. You know? I hope to explain things a bit better next chappie. Thank you for the feedback and I hope you enjoy this one. **Kiki** – Woot~ there's another one! ;-) Hope you enjoy. ^.^ **Kakashi's Dog - **Here I was thinking that you abandoned ship. ;-) Thank you so much! … I think. I don't think I like this "I'll blame you" aspect.. lol I hope you enjoy the new chappie as much. ::coughbrilliantcough:: ^.^

**Disclaimer**: I wish I owned a little tool that could help me pull out the headphone jack that I somehow pushed into my laptop… I was probably having a cow, but in any case speakers won't work. Owning Naruto could have bought me a new laptop, but- alas- I don't.

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Of Cats and Bags_

Tossing and turning was not fun. Not fun at all. In fact, it severely agitated him. The more agitated he got, the more he tossed and turned- and so on and so forth. It wasn't that fatigue wasn't enough of an issue either. Kakashi had been training with him all day- quite literally, as he had no idea what his old self would do with what felt to him like infinite spare time. Maybe he was just _overtired_ and adrenaline was kicking in, having his body burning on empty. It had to be one or the other, because it _couldn't_ be the vacant space on the other side of the bed. It _couldn't_ be that the bed sheets were still neatly tucked on that side- and cool, very cool with the _absence_ of a certain someone.

Sasuke flopped on his back and rested his forearm over his eyes, as though some blinding source of light was staring straight at him. Even though it was night. Even though he wouldn't do that facing the sun itself. He _did_ do it though at the thought that he was missing Naruto- missing that guy that he didn't remember, missing how it had felt to be around him, to be held close to him. Every minute, of every hour, of each of the four days that Naruto had been away, the emotion had only grown stronger, until he no longer knew what to do with himself.

"Shit…" he cursed and propped himself up, knees coming to his chest- a new place to rest his forearms.

The view out of his window had been permanently imprinted on his blank mind by then, as he had spent several hours each night just looking out, at the dark outline of the mountains, the starry sky and the pale moon, waxing its way to that brilliant grin that seemed to mock him. Paranoid some? Better that than _oversensitive. _

The first time that the emotion had crept up on him, he let it perish without a second thought- because it was obviously absurd, _obviously_ he had more important things to figure out than going on this mental merry-go-round. The second time he had blushed, finding that he was coming to terms with it _very_ fast. What was it? What had been in his heart for the blonde that had survived this state and made each thought of his gravitate towards him?

"Shit." He cursed again, bounding out of his bed, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he paced the room like a caged animal.

Charcoal eyes moved to the pillow next to his, where, each of these four nights that Naruto had been away, he would place the note he had left him- because his sleep was restless and shallow and he often awakened to look at it. A silly, naïve part of him would be reminded of the promise scribbled on the paper- which wasn't a _promise _really, but Sasuke had come to view it as a binding contract between him and the other boy. The paper was now wrinkly with wear, as Sasuke carried it with him wherever he went, including training, which had resulted in an asinine accident. During one of Kakashi's more advanced attacks, one of the kunai would have torn into his pocket- and most likely the note- if he evaded it- last minute as it were- so he didn't. Instead, he brought a hand up and caught the blade proficiently enough- though not _entirely_ as it cut into his palm. He had refused to see the Hokage about this, so Kakashi had bandaged it for him, gibing that Naruto would beat his ass when he came back. That _was _a joke, right?

_Ri-ight_. He brought his bandaged hand up for inspection. It didn't even hurt anymore- that should earn him some brownie-points, right? _Ri-ight_.

Disgusted with himself- with _all_ this- he took off his pajamas and pulled a black shirt- that again had the Uchiha crest, begging the question of whether he had any clothes that didn't have it- and black pants from his closet, getting dressed quickly. He needed some air- badly. Half-way to the door he realized that he had left without the note- for the first time in four days. Bothered as he was, he shook his head, deciding that that was fine. A step later found him doubling back to the room and retrieving it with a groan at himself. Passing by Kakashi's door, he heard the other ninja snore quite loudly- so much so that Sasuke had to wonder what the chances were that he was faking it. With a shrug he continued on his way- out, anywhere but that room whose four walls were closing in on him, suffocating him.

The moment he stepped on the stone patio, two thoughts occurred to him. One was that this would be his first time going anywhere unescorted since he had woken up. The other was that he had no idea what to do with this newfound freedom. With a shrug at himself, he started walking idly, letting his feet carry him towards familiar paths from the previous days. He walked past Ichiraku's Ramen, now dark and closed down, the grocery store, a bookstore and then further towards houses that he hadn't seen in his short visits for lunch or dinner. He had been about to continue towards what Kakashi had called the Hokage Tower, when his feet came to a halt and a strange sensation coursed his body.

Right in front of him all he could see was an apartment complex that seemed a little bit run down, but the feeling was unmistakable- he had _been_ there before. His heart raced- was this a memory? There were three floors to it and he started climbing each one, passing in front of doors with the hope that behind one of them there'd be memories, chasing that strange feeling of recognition. It was one such door- plain and white- that he had almost passed by, but instead stopped. Sasuke faced it, pressed his ear to it to listen for any sound from the inside, but all he heard was his own heart beating. After a moment, in which he forced himself to forget how late it was, he knocked on the door and waited. He knocked enough times and waited long enough to feel confident that no one was inside, before he looked for the window.

The window, located on the side of the building, was creaked a little open and easily let him in a small bedroom. A shiver ran down his spine as he stepped inside and he didn't know if his heart came to a stop or simply exploded in his chest when he saw the two picture frames on top of the dresser to his right. In slow steps, he walked closer and picked them up. In the first one he could see himself, Kakashi, Naruto and Sakura- they were young, but his old self was making an unfamiliar gruff face whereas the bothered look, directed at him no less, on the blonde's face didn't surprised him. Naruto _did_ seem like the type to have a stupid expression like that on his face. The other one was of him and Naruto in mission gear. They had their backs to whoever had snap the picture, but he was smiling at the blonde's hidden face.

"Who are you?" he asked the boy in the picture.

By then he knew that it had been Naruto's apartment that had beckoned him. Frame in hand, he walked to the small closet, checking to see if he had left articles of clothing there as Naruto had at his place. There were some solid colors there that didn't permanently damage one's eyesight, but it was a box that caught his attention- a carton box in the bottom of the closet that was neatly tucked in the back corner. Sasuke picked it up and examined it- nothing on it, no hint of its contents- before taking it with him. He settled on the bed, set the picture of him and Naruto beside him and placed the box on his lap. After a moment's consideration to the blonde's privacy, he opened it and skimmed through it.

It was nothing but notes. _I'll be back in a week. _He blinked, his mind drifting to the note in his pocket. _There's food in the fridge, don't let it rot while I'm gone. _The handwriting wasn't the same as on _his_ note- wasn't Naruto's. _Why would you even try (underlined twice) to get away with last night? My place. Tonight. _A strange, new feeling bubbled up inside him- possession. The familiar tone in the notes was getting to him. Most of them were 'see you in x days' or some kind of arrangement. But then- _Sakura said that you and Lee have another bet coming up. You learned nothing from Kakashi, Usuratonkachi._ Sasuke blinked. _Usuratonkachi._ That word had drawn a reaction. Without thinking, he fished a pen from the nightstand and scribbled on the box- "_Naruto_"- then compared it with the note.

It was _his own _handwriting. The author of the notes had been none other than him. "I'll be damned…" he muttered.

"Only if you don't have a good reason for being here."

His head snapped up to the doorway, where Naruto stood in full gear and not looking particularly happy either. What was the expression about the cat and the bag? He was not supposed to have been caught during his little reconnoiter expedition. As it were, he figured that the only thing worse than being mortified, was _looking_ mortified.

"That's my handwriting." He said matter-of-factly- and quite lamely. "There must be hundred of notes here."

Naruto dropped his backpack on the floor. "Just over a hundred, actually." He corrected quite evenly, while watching him cautiously. "What happened to your hand?"

His hand. Right. "A small cut." He said as haughtily as he could muster. "Kakashi tried to play rough."

It didn't sound entirely right but had been uttered with enough conviction. The blonde nodded after a moment, eyes narrowing a little. "What are you doing here, Sasuke?"

Sasuke considered his situation. There was a box of private notes on his lap. There was a picture of the two of them beside him. Above all, he was in Naruto's apartment, _pretty _late at night. Even trying to make something up was ridiculous and would only make him look worse- which was a stretch, considering the circumstances, but nowhere near impossible. _Wet cat out of the bag? _"Looking for answers." He responded honestly.

His honesty was not too compelling though, because the other boy frowned at him, tensing. "To what questions?"

What questions… The older woman had told him to trust his _instincts_, not his _reason_, so it had been instinct that he had allowed to bring him inside the small apartment- instinct that had draw him to the blonde, who had been so terribly cautious around him since his release. That had troubled him because it seemed to him that Naruto had been the person that everyone turned to for a reaction each time he had so much as opened his mouth.

"Who are you?" he asked- with frustration, with a sinking feeling of inadequacy.

The blonde sighed and rolled his eyes. "I thought your problem was memory loss, not going senile." He muttered. "I am Naruto. I am your friend and teammate. I-"

"No." he cut. "Who are you- to _me_?"

The question hang in the air for a moment that those blue eyes studied him- that same way that they had his first night out of the hospital, searching for something in his. "I brought back the ninja who did this to you. Baa-chan is already with him, so maybe we will have some answers tomorrow…" he said absently, before blinking back into focus. "Until she says otherwise, you need to remember on your own." He paused. "I don't know what you were thinking, but this isn't like you."

That little trailing comment made something snap inside him. He set the box beside him and got to his feet. "How am I supposed to know what is _like me_?" he asked, taking a step closer with each word until he stood in front of Naruto, who now seemed nervous, even as he didn't back away. "How do I know what I've told you-" he met those cobalt eyes and his breath caught at just how beautiful they looked in the faint light of the moon- "and what I've kept secret?"

Even as the other boy held his gaze, his voice became quieter as he replied. "I suppose you'll have to decide, if finding out is worth the risk."

They stood there, facing each other and then, without thinking, Sasuke did the unthinkable- he reached over and cupped the tan face in his hands. Naruto gasped and tried to move back almost as though as his touch was burning him, but Sasuke's pale hands held firmly in place. When the fighting stopped and those blue eyes met his again, he continued, "Why doesn't _this_ feel wrong?"

Naruto released a ragged breath, a tan hand curling around the Uchiha's wrist and pulling half-heartedly. "Teme-"

"I was told to trust my instincts and just looking at you is a battlefield." He ignored the faint effort, finding that his courage to press on was waning. He hadn't been sure what he had expected to find, but it had definitely not been the fear he was experiencing. Desire, yes- that strange, thoroughly unwholesome desire- but crippling fear too. "Who are you?" he asked again, more than merely frustrated, "Why do you have so much power over me? What_ever_ it is, you can only help me by giving it a name, a history…"

The blonde closed his eyes for a moment and when he looked back they were surprisingly veiled and guarded. "You want to hear the happy end of the story, Sasuke, but that's not all there is to it." He said quietly, this time moving away and Sasuke letting him. He breathed deeply. "You tried to kill me."

That felt like something sharp just stabbed into his heart. There was no way… _No…_ "No." he repeated out loud. There was simply no way that he would have-

"More than once." He continued in a level tone. "You betrayed Konoha- is _that_ the history you're looking for?"

Sasuke just frowned at him. Was he angry at him? Was that his defense against the answers to his questions? He felt like a petulant child, who blabbered nonsense without any regard to what his words meant to the receiver. Maybe he had hurt the blonde terribly, maybe he had done so many things that were wrong that he had never found the nerve to make things right and what he was feeling- _all_ that he was feeling- had been sealed in a place inside him and him alone. Maybe he deserved it.

Naruto sighed- something almost knowing crossing his gaze as though he could tell what the Uchiha was thinking- and sat on the bed, his eyes trailing to the picture and the notes. "There's a lot to remember Sasuke… and a lot of it only made sense to you." He picked up a random note, fiddling with it.

Sasuke chanced a step closer, his hands falling into his pockets- like he had noticed himself doing a lot- and finding Naruto's message. "Where are your notes to me?"

The blonde boy looked up surprised at the question. "I keep them." He said simply.

That made him blink a couple of times. It made no sense. "What-?" he started, then figured that the better question was, "Why?"

"Why..?" Naruto shrugged as though as he had never thought about it before. "You give them to me after I come back. You always say that they don't matter to you after that."

"Oh…" Again, he was surprised with his older self. If how he had felt about this last note had been any indication, he had to have lied. Or maybe the truth was that each of those notes was the same kind of _binding contract_ as the one he had and once Naruto honored them with his return, they were meaningless. Or maybe he had been too much of a coward to confess how much they really did mean to him."So why do you keep them?"

That drew a smile from the other boy who pulled another box from under the bed- identical to the one from the closet- and took the lid off fishing a piece of paper. It looked miserably worn. It looked- "Because they always look like this…" he said with some amusement, wagging the small note in Sasuke's field of vision. "I get a kick out of imagining you fidgety and pissed off."

It looked _exactly _like _it_. In fact, _all _of Naruto's notes to him looked exactly like the one in his pocket. "… Like this?" he said, daring to show it to Naruto, like it was a piece of a puzzle.

Cobalt eyes widened in the darkness of the small room and lifted to meet his gaze for a speechless moment. "Yeah…" he said, his voice coming out thick as though struggling past a lump in his throat. "Exactly like that."

There was hope that he swore not to crush this time- he was _in _there dammit. Inside his head, trapped and lost, but in there. Sasuke chanced another step ahead, bringing himself right in front of Naruto, who was still watching him. Truth- only the truth would do. "I'd say that it's because I carried them around everywhere with me… that they look like that."

The intended effect of his confession had not been that surprised arch of brows, but at least this time he didn't find dejection in those eyes. Maybe it had been the right thing to say, because Naruto made room for him beside him on the bed. "You… I… I didn't know that." He said quietly, eyes focusing on the wrinkled note on his palm. Suddenly he looked up again, this time his gaze steady and demanding. "Do you _want_ to remember, Sasuke?" he asked grave serious. "Because there's more bad than good there… and you have the chance to be free…"

It was his turn to look surprised. Sasuke sat down beside him and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his mouth on his intertwined fingers. It drew a smile from Naruto, interrupting his thoughts. "What?"

"You always do that when you think." The blonde said twiddling his thumbs.

"Is that so..?" He arched a brow, but smiled a little. He _was_ in there. "I don't feel free…I feel…" he started and sighed, "… lost. I feel _half_ and I don't even know what part I'm missing." He admitted, feeling lame, afraid of saying too much or too little. Truth was that with each moment he had spent around Naruto, with each day that he had spent missing him, he had formulated a pretty good idea what he had been missing. Dark eyes darted to the boy beside him as he added, "I don't even know if I ever had that missing half… even before. But if I did…" he noticed that Naruto's artery was pulsating at the side of his neck with a strong, hard heartbeat at his words, "And even if I didn't… the answer is yes, I want to remember. I'll take the good with the bad."

Saying all that filled Sasuke with a sense of accomplishment- again, in spite of how lame and sappy it all rang outside the confines of his brain. That mental pat on the back was short lived when he realized that Naruto was staring back at him like he had popped a second head. He frowned and folded his arms- which made the other boy chuckle softly. Who the _hell_ was he to him? Who were they to each other? Uchiha Sasuke swore that the day he found out, sort of remembering that he had molested Naruto's pet parrot, the blonde was in _so_ much trouble.

Aggravation quickly gave way to a new question that he asked with some hesitation. "Do _you_ want me to remember?"

All amusement drained from the tan face as Naruto closed his eyes for a moment. "Yes… I want you to remember." He said evenly, then a small smile faltered at the curve of his mouth. "But even if you don't, it's enough that you're alive. That you're here."

What could he possibly say to that? Sasuke had run out of sappy and intelligent things to say so they sat there in companionable silence amidst boxes of old notes. It was comfortable and undemanding, enough that he found himself just leaning against the bedrail a little more comfortably. Quite literally, he could not remember when he had last slept soundly and there was something about the place that just allowed his fatigue overwhelm his limps- a feeling of safety. The place oozed of Naruto's presence. He closed his eyes for a moment.

_Next_ moment he thought he heard garbled words and felt arms moving him. He mumbled something in protest, but then his head was settled on a soft pillow that smelled a little of honeysuckle and sunflowers- and he was just too content. And it was his sleeping mind that he blamed for the lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. "Ne… Naruto…"

The blonde was in the process of covering him and paused only for a moment. "Sleep, Teme… you look worse than I do." He paused then added. "And you have some explaining to do about your hand tomorrow. Don't think I'll just buy into your crap."

The concern in his voice and manners made Sasuke smile a little for a moment and there was a hazy, cotton-like sensation in his mind that numbed his hesitation in uttering his next words. "Have we ever done… anything inappropriate?"

The other boy froze. "…Inappropriate?" he repeated slowly.

Sasuke opened his eyes a little bit and found that guarded expression on Naruto's face. The blonde knew perfectly well what he was being asked. "As in… something that _shouldn't_ have happened."

Naruto shook his head at that. "Never."

"But something _has _happened between us." He pressed, moving towards the wall, allowing inviting space between them. "Something that the rest don't know about."

He sat down, accepting the quiet invitation, for whatever it was. "A lot has happened between us that they don't know about."

Wasn't that cryptic. He closed his eyes again. "More serious than me almost killing you?"

Sasuke could easily hear the smile in Naruto's voice. "Maybe… I had never thought of it like that."

Another quiet moment passed between them, before Naruto started to rise. The Uchiha creaked an eye open. "Don't make me invite you to your own bed."

The blonde's right hand flew to his messy hair, scratching the back of his head nervously. "Uh… Teme-"

"I'm not looking to have a conversation right now either." He cut, this time not bothering to open his eyes and sounding sufficiently aggravated- though he wasn't- as he pulled down the covers. "Get in."

Naruto scoffed. "What's next? Tying me down to make sure I stay put?"

Sasuke smiled a little at the thought. "Only if I have to." He muttered sleepily.

It took what seemed like several moments before Naruto stopped sitting there, tense and indecisive, but eventually he lay down. At first he had to have quite miraculously found a way to balance on the frame of the bed just to have some distance, because, though the bed was small, there was enough space between them. Not _ample_ by any stretch of the imagination, but quite a bit of it taking into account both their bodies. As the night progressed though, Sasuke realized that there was a soothing kind of warmth emanating from very close to him- from a body that had matched his position comfortably, almost spooning against him.

He smiled a little, his body telling him that this was alright- that this was _right_- and closed his eyes drifting back to sleep with a single thought, _Such an Usuratonkachi…_, and knew he had decided on his pet name for Naruto.

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And this is chappie 9. ^.^ Assuming that all goes well, there should be another 2 or 3 chapters to this story… Thank you all in advance for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Smooches! Ja, ne?

M.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Hey, lovies~! Same ols as to why updating took so long, but for this chapter I have to give credit to **Katsheswims**, because after her review, I kinda rethought the direction of this chapter. I decided that, instead of entering Naruto's reactions into the grand scheme of things, rather he deserved his own "inner dialogue" chapter, while at the same time using it as a way to show what their relationship has been like before all this. So, my dear reviewer takes all credit for the stuff that you guys like and none of the blame as this happened unbeknownst to her. ^.^

Thank you ALL who read my story and extra smoochies to my reviewers that make writing SO much fun, it's addictive. ;-)

My anon readers. **Mo - **^.^ Thank you~! I thought it was funny and sweet in my all-sappy chappie… Hey! That rhymed! Lol **Madame Penguin – **Thank you so much! ^.^ I do wish that I could write action because I do agree with you that the scene would have had more impact that way. … Uh… you're in for another action-less chapter I'm afraid.. =.= I WILL try to make it up to you next time though! **Kakashi's Dog - **… What are the chances that I won't hear a jab about my late update? Lol Thank you so much for sticking with me through all the stories… ::tries to kiss up to KD:: ;-) **Kiki – **"Aw" makes me happy. Lol ;-) **Hoshi no Neko **– So you still haven't found your password huh? I'd be lost without my alerts. O.O Hang in there and thank you~!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto… or anything by Shakespeare (OMG imagine the MONEY!... but I'd be dead… ::sigh::) just using half of the really cool "To sleep, perchance to dream"… which is _Hamlet_, I think?_**

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Perchance to Dream_

This was awkward. It was actually awkward, because it really _wasn't _awkward. Sasuke was lying beside him, one arm draped across his chest, head nestling in the crook of his neck. It was intimate and cozy as it could get under the circumstances- though not quite as _cozy_ as it had gotten in the past. The proud, defiant Uchiha had snuggled up to him in his sleep and there was no real way to deal with it. There was very little he could do to actually _disentangle_ himself from the embrace, because Sasuke's sleeping mind had somehow recalled the exact way that the dark boy would keep him trapped in bed- because any movement would wake him too and Naruto cherished Sasuke's sleep more than his own. But even if he could, he wouldn't push him away- he had missed him too much, had longed for this proximity quite terribly.

_Good luck explaining away this one… _Naruto thought to himself, as Sasuke's hot breath on that sensitive curve of his neck had _unintended_ but very _real_ effects on his body. _Certain_ parts of his body in particular. Damn Uchiha and his penchant for agonizing foreplay. Somehow Sasuke had gone from _inexperienced_ to _exotic_ a bit too fast- always curious about what his breath could do to this part of his body, what his teeth might to another. _Inappropriate?_ That was _one _way of putting it.

Sleep had been the one thing that his body had demanded upon his return to Konoha, but he had easily traded it for this moment.

The hard truth was that he was no longer used to being _alone_ with Sasuke and being _casual_. Yes, they were often casual, but always with the promise of more, if the mood hit them. And more often than not, it did. The ugly truth was that he had forgotten how to be _just_ friends with the Uchiha- and that shocked him, because they had been rivals, friends, foes and back to friends again for a lot longer than they had been…

_Longer than we have been…what..?_

Naruto's cobalt eyes traced the Uchiha's sleeping face- eyes moving behind his eyelids that fluttered ever so softly with the movement, pale, slightly chapped lips parted just barely and silky hair cascading his face and spreading like black ink on his tan skin. They had never bothered to define what they were to each other- other than Sasuke-Teme's jokes about who's the _girlfriend_, but that was only meant to incite the blonde. It worked every time too. Just looking down at him, it felt as though as he hadn't seen him in years and what he really wanted to do was squeeze him to him, feel his cool skin against him and maybe convince himself that Sasuke was real.

_Good luck explaining that one…_, he thought again with a small smile, imagining Sasuke's surprised, groggy face. It was a familiar expression that he was imagining, one that there was no way to know would be there for him. Because Sasuke wasn't _all_ there.

All there. What did that even mean? When he had found Sasuke inside the apartment he had almost forgotten himself and smiled, his body suddenly overcome with the familiar fatigue of arriving home safely and finding him waiting there. It had only lasted a moment though and then he remembered _all_ that Sasuke didn't. A wave of hurt and anger washed over him at the way the Uchiha was picking up his own notes and examining them like trinkets that belonged to someone else. He had wanted to cry and he had wanted to punch him- all of which sounded very clear in his voice, though Sasuke didn't seem to understand. How could he?

His mind drifted to other times. Sometimes he would be in the kitchen, reading a book or a scroll and would look up just for a moment to say that there's food in the oven- sometimes it would even be ramen. Other times, after a dangerous mission or if he was late, he'd find the Uchiha sitting on the bed, very still, his mouth resting on his interlaced fingers in thought. Even so, he would make room for him and Naruto would sit beside him. They didn't speak much those times and they rarely left the bed either- other than times that the pure physicality of their encounters was more akin to a sparring session that might carry them to other parts of the room, or the rest of the apartment even. His landlady had left notes of complaint for the _"persistent disturbance",_ that had mortified him and- predictably enough- amused the Uchiha. In fact, he was convinced that ever since he started getting the notes, he got _fussier_ on purpose. Of course, when Naruto had confronted him about it he had looked up at him quite innocently- which only _confirmed_ that the bastard knew _exactly_ what he was talking about. There was no such thing as an "_innocent Sasuke"_ in the multiverse.

"And never will be…" he trailed his own thoughts with a scoff, getting some satisfaction out of uttering his accusation aloud. As loud as a whisper could be anyway.

The moment of annoyance was short-lived, because he felt the other boy shudder against him, his dark brows creasing to a frown and his breath becoming shallow- the telltale signs of a nightmare. Naruto stroked his back all the way up to his neck and back again for a while, watching as the Uchiha relaxed under his touch. Something inside him _remembered _that that touch meant that he was safe. Yet even as his gestures had always been clear, he had always found himself mystified by the other boy. He didn't know what Sasuke said to him in the different ways that he touched him- couldn't translate neither the hard bites, nor the feathersoft kisses- and had never asked because it had been enough that something in him just knew. But now the dark boy lay against him without any of those memories and it was all he could do to wish that he had one more chance to ask.

And then Sasuke had gone and cupped his face, in that familiar way of his that there was no way he remembered. Didn't he know how intimate that was between them? _No…_ No- of course he didn't. Sasuke could not begin to fathom what his merest touch could do to him- how weak, disgustingly weak it made him feel. Was it even right that he would be so mad at the dark boy for what he didn't remember- what he knew, in his heart of hearts, that Sasuke would have never chosen to forget, if he had any say in the matter?

_Why isn't that enough?_

It was because Sasuke awakened greed and selfishness and terrible single-mindedness in him- because nothing less than Sasuke's _everything_ would be enough, after having tasted him. That taste lingered in his mouth, dried on his lips and nothing short of drinking up Sasuke in a kiss- _Please, at the very least a kiss_- could quench his abstruse thirst for him. And it was all wrong- all _new_ to him- because he had never realized that he even _had_ those feelings.

_Talk about bad timing…_

In that moment, almost more than the idea of Sasuke never remembering, he was afraid that he would, because then he would have to decide if he could tell the Uchiha any of this.

_Yeah… that will go over really well…_

No matter how it played out in his head, it was always awkward- and he hated awkward more than any other reaction, because Sasuke would just stand there with an infinitely stupid look on his mug that would beg for a punch. The _Sakura-chan_ type too, which was no joke.

_But then…_

What if something happened and Sasuke never knew? What if he died during one of those missions and the Uchiha was left behind with questions about what his feelings were? What if Sasuke died and he lost the choice that seemed like such a burden right now- the choice to _tell_ him. The thought of the dark boy feeling anything like what he was feeling during all this seemed too cruel.

_If you remember…_

His cobalt eyes fell on the pale face, treading lightly over his features, the inky black eyelashes, the silky raven hair. Shocking as it still was to him, the Uchiha had tried- had _dared_ to try- to piece things together. It still seemed entirely unreal, but he _had_ actually confronted him about who they had been to each other. Sranger yet, he had actually admitted that he- the _Dobe_, the _Usuratonkachi_- had _power_ over him and he was desperate to understand. And what had he done?

Naruto threaded between his fingers a stay strand of hair that seemed to tickle the Uchiha's perfect nose in his sleep and tucked it behind his perfect ear- with a smile at how sometimes he looked like a child and eyes filled with regret.

Cowardice had hit a new high in him as he came up with all that Sasuke shouldn't have to hear in a fragile moment like that. Was it really his fault that he felt the need to protect himself? Sasuke had never been the soft or the _loving _kind. They just weren't like that- and _this_ Sasuke, that had waltzed into his bedroom as though he owned the place, had no concept of all the things that had torn them apart and stitched them back together until it was impossible to know where each of them began and where the other ended.

_If you remember, I…_

Sasuke confused him and made him feel too much- more than his simple, young mind had imagined ever feeling about anyone. Was this _love_? Kurenai-sensei had once told him that he was in love- before the notion had even occurred to him and certainly not encompassing anyone other than _Sakura-chan_. The fact that his world hadn't fallen apart when Sakura had started dating Lee had somehow failed to tip him off. Another thing was that he had also avoided revisiting the subject since that first time that Sasuke had kissed him on top of the Hokage monument. Maybe grown-ups just _knew_ about stuff like that and when he was old enough- whatever _that _was- he'd know too.

But Naruto didn't know much about anything- certainly not about something as elusive as what it was like to be _in love_- but he thought that the feeling of belonging and happiness and pain and desire that Sasuke overwhelmed him with, that _had_ to be it, because nothing would ever surpass it. It was an absurd statement, given his lack of experience _in the field_, but somehow he knew it to be true. The rush of feeling that familiar body curling, coiling, grinding against his night after night, the way that his breath caught in his lungs when he woke up to the blessed sight of that beautiful, pale, scarred form, whose chest rose and fell in even breaths right there, beside him, day after day- if that wasn't the fabled feeling, he'd need a new, _better_ word for it.

_If you remember, I will..._

Grimly, his mind landed him squarely on the present. Though one- if anyone knew and no one _really_ did- might have looked at them, as they lay entangled in the cozy confines of the small bed, and thought that nothing had changed, everything had been turned upside down and inside out. He hadn't been very subtle about it either, judging by everyone's open concern- nor had his feelings for Sasuke been as convoluted as he had liked to believe, apparently. The fact that Sakura might have guesses a thing or two- or more- about them made him very self-conscious during an average day in Konoha, but, back at the hospital, he had found a sense of solace in her understanding. Would she question him further once- _if_- this was over? _Kami_, he hoped not.

"_So, Naruto…" _Sakura's imaginary voice started mischievously in his head, _"… who tops?" _

Blood rushed to his face and he suddenly felt like he couldn't quite breathe and was overwhelmed by the urge to kick the oblivious Uchiha out of his bed. Then _keep_ kicking. Sasuke's relaxed features provided fuel to that urge, but, the more he watched him, the more he found himself forgetting about his plans of punishment and just blinked, tilting his head as he noticed how the light seemed to glow off of the creamy skin. Blessed be his short attention span- and the memory of how easily said skin turned red and purple with hickeys.

Naruto scoffed at himself this time. _You better remember, Teme, _he thought at the Uchiha's sleeping form, pulling the bed sheet just a little higher over the pale shoulder, because Sasuke always complained about getting cold during the night. Something about him hogging all the covers… _I am SO not dealing with this one on my own._

A small shadow moved hesitantly along the rim of the window sill, bringing his half-indignant thoughts at the dark boy to an instant halt as his ninja mind kicked into high alert. Naruto tensed as he reached for a kunai under his pillow, eyes never wavering from the possible threat- and definite _intruder_- aimed and hurled. The sharp blade landed right next to the shadow, articulating his warning very plainly- as was intended- and evoking a yelp that did not sound all the way human.

"Naruto, wait- it's me!" a gruff, little voice came back, quite panicky.

It was familiar enough that he had to blink to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep. When he threw the kunai at the _intruder _he had been pretty sure it was Kakashi sneaking up on them and, therefore, deserving it. In retrospection, he _wished _it were his old mentor. "... Pakkun?" he asked in disbelief.

Adding to the increasingly long list in the comedy of errors, it hit him too late that he should have modulated his voice. If there had a way to deal with this _without_ waking Sasuke, who had barely stirred in his deep sleep, he'd never know, because his surprise had overpowered caution. For the first time in forever, he found himself agreeing with all the people who had said that he was always obnoxiously loud as he watched, this time in suspense, the dark eyes fluttered open under a disgruntled scowl. Just for a second, he let himself drift to lala-land- because he honestly believed that Sasuke might fall asleep again- before the Uchiha was wide awake and very much aware of his- _their-_ rather- as in _all-out_-_ compromising_ position.

Pakkun, whom Naruto had just about forgotten in light of his new predicament, coughed discreetly and proffered his next words with more-than-apparent unease. "I'll just come in… _backwards_... uh... okay?" he suggested. "I know it's late, but Kakashi asked me to deliver this message…" he explained with increasing agitation in his voice, _all _of it directed to the Copy Ninja, who got a kick out of making people- and summoned pugs- feel bad about themselves.

Right about then, Naruto's desire to _kick _had found a new target- and Kakashi had _none _of Sasuke's tantalizing characteristics. It would have all seemed like quite a joke, if those charcoal eyes weren't filled with such sincere confusion and questions that he could not answer. Thankfully, there was none of the disgust that he was afraid he'd find there- and he _did _search for it. Whatever Sasuke thought or felt, some distance between them was needed. Maybe by the time that he was done with Pakkun, the Uchiha would have gone over his questions and decided which ones were wise enough to ask.

"I'll be right there." He said rather quietly and cursed himself that he couldn't just have done that _before._

Another thing he was thankful about that moment was the infamous canine hearing that allowed Pakkun to hear his mumblings. "Okay." said the pug, sounding a bit too relieved.

Naruto slid away from underneath the Uchiha and thoroughly ignored his intense gaze as he walked to the window. _One fiasco at a time…_ he reminded himself and took a deep breath, forcing a smile as he looked at the tiny dog. "Kakashi-sensei sure is cruel having you run errands in the middle of the night." He said a little _too_ casually. It sounded forced and he knew it. "I hope you have some plans to get back at him."

Pakkun went along, yet his eyes betrayed some kind of sympathy for the blonde. "I'll chew on his latest Icha Icha book when he's not looking." He said deadpan, making it hard to guess how serious he was about it. "Here. This is for you."

It was a plain, folded note that read, _"Meet me at the Hokage's Tower around 9 in the morning. Bring Sasuke with you.". _It required no confirmation that Sasuke was with him, which, on a day that he didn't have bigger concerns and he actually cared, would have triggered his paranoia. Kakashi was a pervert, after all. "Tell him we'll be there."

The pug simply nodded and jumped off to the next roof. Naruto wished he could take that leap with him. In fact, he'd be pretty much okay with licking hot iron, swallowing burning coals or some other feat that was- to him, there and then- much less inhuman than turning around and facing Sasuke. There had to be worse things, though he couldn't think of something right then.

Turning around, he was surprised to find the Uchiha lying down on his own side, one arm folded underneath his pillow and the other draped over it, his bare back turned to him. His lips were buried in that fold, but, as far as he could see, Sasuke's- questioning, confused, demanding- eyes were closed and silent. Naruto seriously doubted that the other boy had fallen asleep, but he accepted this as a show of mercy that was uncharacteristic of the Uchiha. Cobalt eyes blinked in surprise as he walked over to the bed. _I guess memory-loss has its upside…_ he thought bitterly, because, if not for the memory-loss, there'd be no need for that _upside_.

He lay down quietly, carefully, playing along with the charade that Sasuke was indeed asleep. Lying on his side with his back to the dark boy felt plain wrong, but that was a good as it could get in this messed up situation. With a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and hoped for a better day come morning.

Leave it to Sasuke to be unable to let very well be. "If…" he started in a somewhat chocked tone and stopped.

_If you remember… _Naruto thought at him, but refrained from a verbal acknowledgement that he had heard him.

"If I were to turn around…" he finally started again, after a long silence, "… and hold you…" his voice sounding somewhat muffled, betraying that he had not moved with the intention to do so, "… would that be wrong?"

Naruto's eyes opened and became fixed on the picture frame of the old Team 7. It _was _Sasuke that was asking him this. "No." he said without thinking about what he was being asked or what his answer meant.

"Then… it's okay if that happens to come about… while I sleep." He said a bit more quietly and very, very nervously. "Unintentionally, of course."

_Unintentionally, of course._ He smiled a little. That was Sasuke- finding some convoluted way to express his intentions and the fact that he was okay with what was happening even if he didn't quite understand, all of it under the safe guise of plausible deniability.

"Of course." Naruto said with another sigh, which, he realized, had come with relief.

There would be no more words, but he knew that sometime before morning, the Uchiha would- unintentionally, of course- find his way back to him. It was enough to let him hope that what dreams may come will coax him into restful slumber. Maybe it was even enough to let him hope that, come morning, it _would _be a better day.

_When you remember… _he dared to fight off his 'if's_… I will tell you all about me. _

And he couldn't think of a more dangerous promise- and that was okay.

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So that's my Naruto sappy-chappie. ^.^ I loved writing it so maybe you guys will enjoy. Next chapter we'll have guests, because it's been very private. ;-)

Tons of love!

Ja~!

M.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N**: Hey, minna-san~! This has to be the biggest chapter in the story… it was supposed to be two, but I figured that there's no point in milking the story, right? Next chapter will be the epilogue so I hope that you guys will enjoy these last two. I want to thank ALL of you guys who read the story, add me to favorites and alerts and extra, EXTRA love and thanks to my reviewers that share their thoughts with me and then deal with my blabbering in my replies. Thank you, thank you~! ^.^

I want to thank **ZuiYue**, in particular, because she got me to finish the chapter though RL sucks right now- and she also started her own multi-chapter! ^.^

My anon readers: **Mo –** I could SO see Sasuke saying something like that. I'm glad you got a kick out of it. ^.^ I hope this chapter answers any question you have… hopefully in a convincing manner. ;-) **Kakashi's Dog -** ^.^ I'm glad you liked. ^.^ I DID update KINDA timely. Now, be sad that it'll be over soon. ;-) **Kiki – **Here's more… a LOT more. I hope you like. ^.^

**Disclaimer**: Me no own anything. … EXCEPT. A Sharingan in a jar, because EVERYONE seems to have an extra one up their sleeve… ::hint hint:: Up their sleeve? Get it? … ::sighs:: I'm so lame. lol

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Smoke and Mirrors_

When he woke up Sasuke had surely enough found his way back to an intimate embrace, spooning against him with one arm securing him firmly- quite _intentionally, _one might have thought- into place in another one of Sasuke's intimate grapple maneuvers, and his cheek flat against his shoulder-blade- lips brushing his skin lightly and the warm breath causing a tingle inside.

_Unintentionally_, of course.

Could he have stayed there forever? Kami, he wanted to- he wanted to stay there and not thing, just _feel- _feel Sasuke's skin against his skin, feel his heart beating in time with his own, feel that blessed breath of life that slipped from those lips and spread through him, animating him. That way he could have pretended that nothing had happened and avoid the fear that nothing would change. It wasn't who he was, though- and he had become many things for Sasuke, not the least of which was a _coward, _but not _that _kind of coward. There was no kind of magic that could make that moment real- it was just a trick of smoke and mirrors that someone more naïve and less disillusioned by life might believe. Not him though- not anymore and not for many years now.

Naruto slid out of the embrace reluctantly, but not as cautiously as he otherwise might have, because he knew that the Uchiha would fake sleep and spare them both of the tension and the chicken-egg conversations. It _did_ puzzle him, though, as it was a far cry from his passionate pursuit of the truth, before bed- and even that first night at the mansion- but it was convenient, so he let _that_ particular sleeping dog lie. Still, the less mature and pragmatic part of him was bothered, because Sasuke's zeal had given him some assurance that was not quite as tangible anymore.

With a groan at himself he got into the shower. Seriously, he could be _such_ a girl sometimes.

By the time he got out, the Uchiha was dressed and ready to go. He supposed that he had his shower before bed last night- though he seemed to have confused his own shower gel- that jasmine-whatever flowery one- for the one that he had bought for Naruto. Instead of jasmine, he smelled like honeysuckle, which, quite honestly, kind of weirded him out. The twee bastard had said that the scent was _uniquely_ _him_- not that he should have expected that Sasuke would remember such a trivial thing, when so much was a mess in his head.

... Except he _did_. It was stupid and unfair, but he did.

"Ready?" he asked casually, attempting to conceal his annoyance.

The Uchiha frowned a little and for a moment it seemed as though as he had intuitively picked up on his mood, but, rather than say anything, he simply nodded and headed to the front door. Naruto watched him, then shook his head taking a moment to breath a deep sigh.

_The day that I figure you out, Teme..._

In truth, Sasuke wasn't as hard to figure out as he liked to pretend- for both their sakes. Yet, much like a grandiose magic trick can be nothing more than smoke and mirrors, understanding Sasuke was all about understanding the _mechanics_ of his acts. Naruto was no genius, but he was a fast study- and he had spent more time around the Uchiha than anyone. With another sigh, he followed the dark boy out of the apartment and into the street where he had to pause that dramatic stride in want of directions.

"Where to?" he asked impatiently.

Naruto frowned again. "The Hokage Tower-"

Sasuke pointed at the tallest building he could see. "Is that it?" he asked even as he started to make his way to it.

It was a fair assumption that the Tower would be overlooking the Village, but still Naruto was impressed. "How about some breakfast first? I'm starving." he tried not to whine miserably.

"No." Sasuke said rather curtly, before softening his tone. "No..." his dark eyes moved to the Tower. "Let's do that after we're done with this." those eyes moved to him- intense and playful and meaningful. "That way I will know what my _tastes_ are... and choose accordingly what I want- and you can _treat_ me to it."

The air was thick with suggestion and he felt as unnerved as he used to back when Sasuke thought he was being funny speaking in code. "Uh... are we still talking about breakfast?" he asked sheepishly.

Sasuke smirked in a very Sasuke-like way. "Among _other_ things that I've had questions about."

Naruto blushed and rushed ahead quickly with a chocked _'whatever'_. It hit him that Sasuke was driven by the promise of answers that would shed some light to his life and maybe even restore his turbulent mind- which was why he had stopped asking questions- while he was lagging it for fear of disappointment- because he didn't want to hear that the Hokage's search for a reversal jutsu had led to a dead end and he'd just have to deal with the reality of how things were; that this was how things would be. The world had become a strange place, if the brooding Uchiha was carrying the torch of faith for the both of them.

They walked in pensive silence the rest of the way to the Hokage's office. It occurred to Naruto that Sasuke's faith was hanging by a thread so flimsy that he couldn't see it to hold on to it himself- and maybe just as well because something that fragile could not possibly hold the weight of both their hopes. It was grim thoughts like those that carried him to the threshold of their destination and brought him through without a polite knock on the door or bothering to announce himself.

"Well, well..." Tsunade greeted, without looking up from the scroll she was studying. "You're here early."

There was the definite scent of alcohol in the room that unnerved him. Unlike what he had originally thought- that the woman could be such a drunkard when Shizune wasn't chasing her around with mountains of paperwork- the Godaime _rarely_ hit the bottle anymore- and when she did there was trouble. "Kakashi-sensei is probably late." he said cautiously trying not to stir the boat.

Now she did look up, dropping the scroll on her desk quite distractedly. "No-" she amended in a not-entirely-sober tone, "- _you_ are _early_."

Apparently Sasuke hadn't gotten the memo on "_prim and proper behavior towards your drunk Hokage_" and had no memory of what happened when people had crossed that woman when she was in this state. "Have you been drinking?" he asked- more like stated- scrunching up his nose in distaste.

Naruto cowered a little as the Godaime's amber eyes moved to the Uchiha. "N-nevermind him, Baa-chan- he can't use his brain for shit these days..." he said quickly, elbowing Sasuke a bit too hard and moving in front of him- as though somehow shielding him- and added his trademark, nervous "... ahahaha."

Tsunade's dangerous gaze did not move for a long moment from the dark boy, but then she sighed and closed her eyes with a small smile. "I don't see how that's different than any other day." she said idly, yet when she opened them again the look she gave the Uchiha was cold enough to make him tense up. "Yes, brat, I _have_ been drinking."

Both boys stood there uncertainly, because the one thing that they had not expected had been for the older woman to not only revisit the subject, but also admit to the accusation.

"Asses in seats- the both of you." she ordered, noting their indecision and, once they had settled- which had happened remarkably fast- she turned to Sasuke again, placing a sake cup in front of him. "Want some?"

Naruto looked from the Hokage's stern face- which seemed pretty sober now- to Sasuke's contemplative expression. _Ah, hell... _"Baa-chan-"

"Not you, gaki." Tsunade waved him off, without even bothering to listen what he might have had to say. "You can't hold your liquor."

That was _so _not what he had in mind. And _so _uncalled for too. So _fine_- there had been that party at Ino's, that _maybe _alcohol got to his head a bit and _maybe_ he made up little, insulting rhymes about a certain Uchiha standing next to him, but that was about a _year _ago. Thinking back to it, memory loss _did _come with certain perks, as Sasuke didn't remember anything about _that_. Not that he had been there for the _creative process_, but Kiba- in his _infinite wisdom_- had decided to jest about it a few months later- and that's how Teme got _all_ the that went through his mind, as his shoulders slumped and mouth hang open in shock- and yet he found that he was ridiculously hurt by the dismissal, like he was somehow being excluded.

Sasuke smiled a little- no doubt at his woes, the bastard- before meeting that challenging gaze. "Will I need it?"

At that, she arched a brow. Her banters with Sasuke had always amused as much as annoyed the older woman- not that Sasuke remembered, he just couldn't _help_ being his _charming_ self. "Good question."

And living up to his usual standard of _charm_, he childishly mirrored her expression. "And the answer?"

Tsunade smiled nostalgically a little, frowned a little for good measure, and then proceeded to place her own cup and a bottle of sake in front of her. "Good question." She sighed and leaned back, eyes absently fixed on the white bottle. "Iwao agreed to talk… but only to you. The _two_ of you, in particular."

"I said that's a bad idea." Kakashi's voice came from the back of the room.

Naruto just about twirled around in his chair to face him. Had he been there all along? Might as well- he hadn't been paying attention to anyone not going by the name "_Sasuke_". "Kakashi-sensei, you're late." He deadpanned, just to keep the ritual.

Kakashi's visible eye crinkled with amusement. "Well, there was a couple of napping lovebirds that captured my attention for a while." He said lightly, closing his book. "Nature is a beautiful thing."

It took a lot out of Naruto to keep that blush from exploding all over his face. The fact that Tsunade regarded the Jounin suspiciously and that Sasuke's questioning gaze had settled on the side of his face was not helping matters either. Was it Pakkun? He sincerely doubted it, because the pug hated getting dragged into other people's affairs and rarely strayed from the topic of his mission. No, this was _all _Kakashi- knowing that Sasuke would be at his place and either hazarding a guess or checking up on them earlier so that he could have his little sadistic fun playing with his head. If not for the utter sense of respect that he felt for his ex mentor and the fact that it was an obvious trap, begging for a reaction, he might have thrown a tangent there and then, no expletives omitted.

"Anyway." Tsunade cleared her throat. "Lovebirds and nature aside, Iwao seems quite honest in his intention to talk." She poured some sake for herself and then- significantly less- for Sasuke. "I suppose naming terms is his last attempt to have a feeling of control before his life ends."

Sasuke frowned at her a little as she sipped on her sake, then frowned more at what looked like the kid-meal version inside his cup. "How do you know you can trust him?" he asked.

The Godaime's long fingers played at the tip of her bottle, tipping it one way or the other, enough that it threatened to fall, before balancing it. "I cross-referenced Iwao's name with our archives. The request had come from Suna and the Kazekage had been kind enough to provide us with their own records… that's usually all that's required for a mission." She sighed. "As it turns out, there was a missing ANBU named Iwao. Him and his partner, Eiji had disappeared when the Third had sent them on a scouting mission… soon after Orochimaru betrayed Konoha. The idea was to locate him and report back."."

Cobalt eyes widened as her words sank in. "You… you mean to say that those guys…" he paused, feeling sick for a moment. "Baa-chan… were they _our_ ANBU?"

This time it didn't surprise him that the Hokage refilled her cup. It was bad. It was horrible. "Yes, Naruto… they used to be Konoha shinobi… Their names are actually on our memorial stone. How screwed up is that?" she took a gulp of sake this time. "Our records have them down as deceased, which is why their names didn't come up right away. Apparently, Orochimaru kept them alive and experimented on them."

"Then why…?" he stammered a little. He had killed one of their own.

"Why would they attack me and Naruto rather than identify themselves?" Sasuke finished the question, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder and squeezing.

"Oh, they were quite mad, by the time that Orochimaru was done with them." Kakashi said grimly. "Iwao said that Orochimaru had bragged about killing the Third, so they figured that the next Hokage would never even know who they are. Besides, they knew that they were dying… and had been for a while. Konoha was no longer their home so they wandered off to the border. Apparently, at some point they tried to cross over and were attacked by Suna ninjas, whom they killed. And that's how they got on Suna's 'Most Wanted' list."

Sasuke had a sip of his sake, then passed the cup to Naruto. For a long moment he just stared in it. There was just enough sake for another sip, which would do nothing to dull the pang of guilt in his chest, but Sasuke's gesture made him feel that the amnesiac Uchiha could understand him well enough to sense his turmoil and was seeking to comfort him. It _did_ help- he'd lie, if he were to claim that he wasn't affected at all by that show of support- but the world of ninja was so terribly messed up. Most of the time he focused on his dream and figured that when he became Hokage, he'd make things better. Was there really a choice about people like Iwao and Eiji? It had not been their fault, it was a nasty twist of fate that landed him on Orochimaru's hands. Had they killed those Suna ninjas out of malice or had they been attacked first? Whatever the case, they had sealed that unfair fate the moment they had bloodied their swords. Laws were there- unbending, uncompromising- and they were there for a reason; there was too much violence to allow chaos. People like Iwao greased the cogs of justice with their blood, because some innocents would be sacrificed, if law was to remain on those turbulent lands.

"And what, now?" Naruto asked quietly.

The older woman looked up from her empty cup- eyes hard in spite of the honey-sweet color. "He will be executed after he gives you the reversal jutsu." She said in a detached tone. "Iwao is a criminal."

Naruto smacked the cup against the table. "Konoha abandoned him once- doesn't he deserve at least the chance of trying to find a way to heal him?"

Kakashi sighed and looked down, but he could feel a certain set of dark eyes watching him. What would be there? Surprise at the outburst or perhaps pity for his delusions? What was this Sasuke- that had never been there when he had started to grow against the odds, who had no memory of the _Dobe_ that kept coming after him when everyone had thought of him as a lost cause, that took his beatings and almost died beside him, killing Itachi- thinking of those naïve words spewing from his mouth?

"There is no way to reverse what has been done to him." Tsunade said curtly. "If I let him rot in that cell, he will die painfully and slowly… Killing him is the only thing that can be done for him now- he _was_ looking to die fighting you back there." She took a sharp breath. "I promised him that I would find his partner's remains and they would both be buried side by side as Konoha ninjas. For that, he promised to talk."

The blonde boy had not thought that he could possibly feel worse, but now he did- because he could understand Iwao's feelings. At least he believed he did, considering the deal he had made. "When can we see him?" he asked then.

"What if he's lying?" Kakashi put up a stopping hand. "Are you willing to take your chances with someone who can screw with a guy's head like Sasuke's?" then he arched a brow. "We all thought that we had seen him as screwed up as it got, _before _all this."

In cue, the Godaime and Naruto both regarded Sasuke appraisingly, considering the Jounin's words a little too much for the boy's liking. The air around him darkened and his features set dangerously as he looked at Kakashi. "Back on topic." He said tightly. "I'm willing to take my chances with him." He shook his head, eyes drifting to the blonde for a moment. "I can't _function_ like this."

The silver-haired man sighed. "A man who takes that kind of deal is either loyal to a person and loves them, or uses it to play on someone's heartstrings." He offered casually, though the words reeked of caution. "Someone like _you_, Naruto."

Taking a deep breath, he rose from the chair and nodded. "He's loyal and loved his friend." He said.

The Uchiha rose quietly right after him and stood next to him, then followed as quietly when he started walking. It was almost endearing to see Sasuke like that, because he had a docile quality about him that had just never been there- even when he had his memory, even after they had done unnamed things to each other.

When they were at the door, Kakashi added, "Just make sure you're not projecting."

They started walking down the corridor that would lead to the holding cells. Sasuke was still walking a bit behind him, but one look over his shoulder revealed unyielding eyes that stopped him from asking anything or attempting to strike up a conversation.

"What did Kakashi mean?" he demanded in an impatient tone.

Naruto cringed.

"I've had all the innuendo I'm willing to take." he continued before scoffing at the silence. "It doesn't matter. I'll know soon enough."

And with that he walked faster, walked past him and ahead towards the man that had agreed to unlock his past for the promise of a decent burial next to his partner- in ANBU, in Orochimaru's hell and, soon now, in death.

"Yo-o, Uchiha."

The voice halted them. Sasuke backtracked a little, as he had almost passed by the cell, and he took a few extra steps that brought him right next to the Uchiha.

Iwao was sitting on a small bench, half-shrouded in darkness. Now that anything other than the basics of his apparel- a worn shirt and pants- was gone, Naruto could see the man's long, salt-and-pepper hair and the tan skin that now looked somewhat wan with sickness. Those emerald eyes though burned with feverish intensity. Those eyes made the blonde worry about the man's intention to stick to that deal. Could Kakashi have been right about him projecting?

The Uchiha didn't seem to share his misgivings as he folded his arms. "We're here. Now tell me."

Iwao arched a brow. "Tell you?" he questioned, then rose to his feet. The sound of rattling chains accompanied his motion, making him seem more like a vengeful spirit than a real man. "I _will _tell you, but you'll have to tell _me_ first."

Naruto stepped in closer. "That's not the deal."

He arched a brow. "Oh? The deal was that I talk to you. I am talking, aren't I?"

It was too risky. What if he could do something worse to Sasuke? What if by agreeing to this, he was about to let something terrible happen. _No…_ "Come on, Sasuke." He grabbed his arm and pulled. "He's playing with you."

Sasuke surprised him by standing his ground. "What do you want me to tell you?" he asked.

The older man cocked his head a little and smirked. "Much better." He nodded and then his smile vanished. "Tell me. Did the Hokage tell you our story?"

A nod. "She did."

Iwao studied the steel bars, probably attempting to figure out whether they had been charged with chakra. "What did you think?"

"It's unfortunate, but, to my understanding, being a shinobi doesn't exactly come with rosy prospects." Sasuke's eyes narrowed a little. "What happened to you was just one of the many ways that you could have died… or worse."

Iwao actually laughed. _Cackled,_ was more like it, actually. "It's all black and white for you, isn't it?" he said and sobered up. "All that's out there are people in gray hats, but they don't tell you about that at the academy- they tell you that as long as you protect the Village you do what's right, killing its enemies is right." His features darkened. "Killing without questioning is right. And one day it's _you_ who's the enemy."

"They couldn't have known-" Naruto started to protest.

"Couldn't have known?" he scoffed. "How hard do you think they even looked after we disappeared? For how long?"

What the man was insinuating was giving him a headache and got him on protective mode very very fast. The Third had been one of the few people that had been kind to him. The Third _was_ kind and generous. The Third would never have given up on them like that. "The Third would never have-"

"But he _did_." Iwao cut. "It's not the Hokage's place to go after lost sheep… or sacrifice more to that end."

"The Third wasn't _like_ that!" he just about yelled. "And _I_ won't be like that!"

Now both Iwao and Sasuke looked at him with varying degree of surprise on their faces. Great- like he needed to open a new can of worms right about then.

"Who knows…" the man said then and sounded tired. He stepped back and sat on the uncomfortable bench. "We were living on borrowed time- we would have died anyway. We had actually managed to outlive most of Orochimaru's experiments… we were one of the first." He said distantly and closed his eyes, that now seemed much dimmer, before looking at Sasuke again. "You don't remember shit, but while we were fighting, you had asked me how I knew so much about the Sharingan." At the Uchiha's confused expression, he waved his hand vaguely. "You fucking eyes that Orochimaru had been obsessing about all the way until you killed him."

Naruto felt a quick look from Sasuke. What about his eyes? How was he associated with this Orochimaru that seemed to be a true villain? Was Orochimaru the one that had killed his family? Was that why he had killed him? It all made his heart ache, because all the answers were so ugly and the dark boy's empty mind was trying to piece together what he was hearing in a way that made sense. This, ergo this, ergo that. Nothing was further from the truth though. It had been his brother that had killed everyone. It had been his choice to become Orochimaru's apprentice and kill him- not because he was _such_ a bad guy, but because it was the end of the line and Sasuke had no intention of sticking to his end of the bargain. It was _all _ugly- and very soon Sasuke would know. The vacation time from himself was just about over.

Iwao didn't seem to be paying attention. "Well, at the time, Orochimaru had been part of Akatsuki and his greatest desire was to have your brother's eyes." He paused a little amused at the way Sasuke's face was conveying constant confusion. "Are you surprised that I knew Itachi or do you just have no idea what the hell I'm talking about?" he scoffed. "Maybe this all worked a little too well… But things will make sense to you later, so for now keep notes."

A ray of hope stabbed him through his chest- right through his heart- at the sound of those words. It would make sense to Sasuke later- but that was only if he were to remember. That meant that Iwao _knew _of a way to reverse the jutsu, right? That meant that he actually _intended_ to do it. And Sasuke would be back- bearing all the heartache of his past that Naruto had surprised himself by being willing to accept as a fee. In his moments of denial, he tried to convince himself that that would have been what the dark boy would have chosen, but, in fact, he was selfish, just as he had told Sakura. Because he had always been alone and though, eventually he managed to have friends- real, close, dependable, awesome friends- Sasuke had become to him so much more- and now he couldn't let go. Sasuke was his family, his precious person- a part of his heart and soul that was making life worth living. He wished he could be _better_ than this, but this situation had made him realize that he was just as flawed and human as anyone else… perhaps more so.

"Your brother was actually on his way out of Konoha just as I was making it to ANBU, so all of us used to look up to him… envy the smug bastard too and resent him for setting the bar too high." The man breathed deeply and slouched against the wall. "Orochimaru had always been collecting jutsus- he had cheated death to do that- so the Sharingan became the answer to all his riddles. It was pretty soon though that he realized that could not counter Itachi's eyes, but being the obsessive freak that he was, it was also not too long before he experimented on a way _around_. A _mirror_ you might say."

Sasuke frowned, inching a little closer. "What are you saying?" he asked, his voice oozing frustration.

"In hand to hand combat, you would have taken me, but you got impatient, because you were worried about your _girlfriend_ over there." He smirked, gesturing at Naruto.

Hissy cat did not even begin to describe it. A beet-red, hissy cat. A beet-red, hissy cat that was caught getting out of the bag. And said cat, _hated- _absolutely _hated _- the word 'girlfriend'. "HEY-!" he protested- and was cut short.

Just as he had done that night for the dark boy, Sasuke's hand came over his lips this time. "This is not the time to get riled up about this." He said and those charcoal eyes were serious and bore intense on him. And just as though as he was being as serious and pragmatic, without cracking a smile, he added, "I need to have my memories back in order to have an equal share in this argument."

Naruto chocked.

His face was just as composed as he turned to Iwao- who looked incongruously entertained for a dying man. "That's enough talking. Release the jutsu."

"I suppose that _is _enough talk." He nodded. "But there is nothing to release. I never cast a jutsu on you."

"So you can't help me."

"That's not what I said either." He rolled his eyes. "I know that not all lights are on there, but you need to pay attention. I'm dying because of Orochimaru's obsession with your clan, so the least you can do is not waste what's left of my time."

Sasuke took a mental step back and started to consider- for which Naruto wanted to kick him. Literally. His anxiety was fast developing into an ulcer, while the Uchiha was playing into that guys mind-games. Mirrors. What kind of trick was Iwao proposing? It had probably been too much to hope for true magic.

"You said I got impatient because of Naruto." He stated slowly, then frowned a little. "This Sharingan… is that what you _mirrored_?"

Iwao applauded theatrically. "Isn't it jolly that you get those brain-cells working?" he dropped his arms to his sides looking exhausted. "That's right, little Uchiha. The technique was supposed to _mirror_ the effects of Itachi's Mangekyu back at him."

The blonde shivered. Itachi could trap someone's mind in a timeless circle of torture that defies the laws of what used to be reality. Days of torture- that feel absolutely real- can pass in seconds. A small boy can relive the terror of his entire clan- including his parents- being slaughtered by their eldest son over and over again. All for the price of sacrificing the person dearest to you. _But… _"But Sasuke doesn't have Itachi's mangekyu!" he protested.

The man shrugged. "Honestly I was really surprised that it even worked." He said idly. "Orochimaru was pretty _novel_, but his head jingled with lose screws more than your average nutcase." He smiled a little. "At least Eiji said that and swore he could even hear them… but that could have been psychosis too, I suppose."

There was a moment of tense silence, before Sasuke spoke again. "So my memory loss was just as much of a surprise to you as it was to anyone else." He breathed out. "Wonderful. What now?"

A frown creased Iwao's brows. "What do you mean? You've been under the influence of your _own_ kekkai genkai." He shrugged. "Just release it."

It was a bad time to be a Dobe, but Naruto looked as clueless as the Uchiha, even as the other boy had turned to him for explanations. "… Uh… how?"

The man regarded him with some measure of disdain. "How did you even graduate from the Academy?" he scoffed and formed the tiger seal as a hint. "Kai."

Sasuke frowned and carefully imitated the seal and then said. "… Kai."

The crickets were once again chirping.

"Teme, it's not just a word." Naruto said, feeling really weird about lecturing _Sasuke_ of all people on chakra basics. "You need to mold your chakra as you do that."

The Uchiha looked annoyed. "I. Don't. _Remember_. How to do that." He said stubbornly.

"Just focus- it could come to you." He said nervously. "Like riding a bike."

Sasuke- who didn't even know if he could ride a bike- glared daggers at him, still keeping his hands awkwardly in that seal that meant nothing to him. "Stop being so helpful." He deadpanned, voice dripping his very Uchiha sarcasm. "Please."

_Great time to be your delightful self, Teme. _What had Iruka-sensei once said? The chakra is like body heat when you feel it. Cobalt eyes darted to Iwao- who watched like this was a show- and he cursed the moment, Orochimaru, cats, unpredictable jutsus and girlfriends. This was too important, so he did his damndest to block out anything, but the Uchiha. Taking a step back and to the side, brought him right behind the other boy, who tried to follow him with his eyes, fighting his confusion as well as he could.

"… What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, eyes darting between Naruto and Iwao.

Yes, it was _awkward_. Yes, he'd much rather be doing this in _privacy_. No, it couldn't _wait_, because if it didn't work, Iwao would have to come up with something else. Hopefully. No, Tsunade wouldn't let them go practice and he'd rather the crazy-soon-to-be-killed person witness this rather than people that would give him dirty looks every time he'd talk about being the Konoha Head Honcho.

_Still… _"Uh… can you turn around or close your eyes… or something?"

Iwao just blinked. "No."

_Perverted freak_. It was worth a shot though. Sasuke was looking at him incredulously and even more apprehensively too. "He said no- what do you want?" the blonde fended. "Now. Focus."

The dark boy frowned, his body language defensive. "On what?"

With a single slow inhalation- as though he was about to dive in something bottomless- that he hoped might give him strength- which it didn't- he brought his body flat against Sasuke's tense back, his arms folding around the Uchiha until his hands were set over his, covering them instructively. "Focus on the heat you feel." He said softly, his mouth very close to Sasuke's ear. It was flushed, so he knew that the other boy was blushing- but then again, so was he. "The chakra will feel like that too… only _inside_. Try to feel it the way that you feel me against you, all the way to your hands." He swallowed hard. This was so hard. Hard to ignore his urge to relax to it. Hard not to think that he missed him. Hard not to feel impatient, standing at the threshold of getting him back. "Take your time…" he forced himself to say.

It seemed to take forever- and forever was a terribly long time to wait and try to avoid thinking of who was watching and who might walk in on them at any time. But then he felt Sasuke's ribs expand with a deep breath and he braced for it.

"… Kai."

It was nothing like he was expecting- and he hadn't even realized that he _had_ been expecting anything. When Sasuke's body went limp against him though, his arm instinctively folded around the pale boy, effectively breaking his fall. Few instincts were as honed inside him as being there to catch Sasuke every time he had fallen. This time was no different- if not quite a bit more literal- as he gently brought him to the safety of solid ground, trying to tame the galloping feeling of terror inside his heart. The feeling only intensified as he looked into the beautiful charcoal eyes that had dimmed watching something past Naruto's worried face, past the ceiling, past…

_The past_…

"Baa-chan!" he called frantically. "Anybody?" he yelled louder, then suddenly a pale hand clutched onto his shirt. Hope intertwined with his fear. "Sasuke…?" he asked in a small timid voice that surprised him. He sounded lost. "Hey… can you hear me, Teme?"

"Give him some time." Iwao said. The man now stood right behind the bars of his cell, watching closely. The amusement was gone and so was the intrigue to be replaced by a solemn feeling of understanding. "That's how he looked that time… I'd guess the release is working."

Naruto didn't look up and couldn't look at Sasuke either- because he felt helpless and scared and- "If anything bad happens to him-"

"What?" the man challenged. "What can you do that has not been done to me already? Kill me? I asked for that, you stupid boy."

The Uchiha shivered against him as he was being cradled, head right over his heart, so that maybe that thundering beat could bring him home. "I'll think of something…" he stroked the dark hair, now matted with small beads of sweat. _Where __**is**__ everybody?_ "GUARD!" he all but screamed.

This time two shinobi jumped in, with katana drawn, aiming for whatever was in their way. "Uzumaki-" one of them started, eyes widening at the fallen Uchiha.

"Get, Baa-chan and Kakashi-sensei-NOW!" he barked with authority that he didn't have.

Whether it was because the men agreed that his _order_ made sense or because he just startled them into motion by the urgency echoing in his voice- because, really, no one wanted _another_ dead Uchiha- they sprang into motion. Naruto watched them anxiously. Maybe he should have asked them to help him _move_ Sasuke to the Hospital or even Tsunade herself, rather than waste time like this. Then again maybe moving him would have been the mistake unless the Godaime cleared it. _What if, what if…? _His mind was reeling with possibilities and questions and second-guessing. It all made him want to cry out in frustration, release that scream of frustration. Cobalt eyes drifter to the Uchiha, full of guilt- lips open, mouth dry, muscles limp.

Naruto's eyes squeezed shut. "Sasuke…" he whispered- pleaded. "… Please…" he chocked out and he wasn't sure, what he was even asking. _Don't go? Come back? Don't leave me? _He had said it all but the last one. _Maybe…_ "Don't…" he started. "… don't-"

Sasuke's body tensed and a small gasp escaped his dry lips. Dark- gorgeous, liquid, startling charcoal gray- eyes blinked in confusion, then in focus. At first they lingered on Iwao as though he was trying to figure something out, but then it seemed as though as he mentally scoffed. And the he blinked once more and his eyes settled on the blonde boy that was holding him against him as though he were his lifeline. It obvious enough that he was exhausted- that much was certain, but little else.

"… Sasuke…?" he chanced the question. "Teme, say something…" _… you're scaring me…_

There it was again- that sense of déjà-vu. Last time he had said that- _what's wrong, Teme- you're scaring me_- Sasuke has asked him who he was. Part of him braced for that same question, even though he was sure that his heart couldn't take it. Because that was Sasuke- always drifting away with him hot on his trail. _Don't leave me…_

The pale boy moved back a little, weakly as it were, to make eye contact with him. After a long moment, he smiled very softly. "I know you…" he nodded a little, then attempted a smirk, "… Usuratonkachi."

Suddenly it all came crushing down on him- and then he did cry out. And then he did cry. And then he buried his face in Sasuke's pale chest, over his heart that drummed against his cheek- the most soothing sound in the Universe. He sobbed with all the grief of having nearly lost his precious person, all the need and pain and fear that he had held back. It dawned on him that all this time he _had _been hoping- that, in spite of all he had seen, he was still such a child. It dawned on him that even though Sasuke didn't say anything, he brought his arm around Naruto's broad shoulders to stroke his hair and his neck- that longing touch that was ever familiar and ever new.

Someone cleared their throat and he felt Sasuke tilt his head a bit. "I think that they're here for me, Dobe…" he said in that winded voice and tried to sound cool. He didn't.

Naruto caught a glimpse of silver- which he figured was Kakashi- and he moved back on his heels, allowing the Jonin to gather Sasuke in his arms. Out of the corner of his eye he saw low heels and green fabric- a thread of gold. _Baa-chan…_ It was okay- it was all going to be okay now. The mirror had been broken and the world made sense again. The feeling of gratitude in him was almost too painful to bear.

"Naruto…" Sasuke started. "I'm-"

"You'll catch up in a bit." Kakshi stopped him. "Tsunade-sama needs to check if you're back to being your old, messed up self."

"Kakashi." Sasuke's voice sounded considerably more familiar and stern. "You and I need to have a _talk_."

"You're making that scary face again, Sasuke." Kakashi's voice carried with mock-fear.

It was all familiar again and he couldn't help the small smile. But then again, that was as much as he could do in that moment.

A gentle hand tousled his hair. "Come by in a bit- won't you, gaki?" she said softly.

A nod. The feeling of Sasuke's concerned eyes on him, however annoyed he was with their ex mentor. Who knows what kind of week Sasuke had with him… Come to think of it, he never did ask. It was all he could do to sit there as everyone walked away. Did they understand? _Could _they? He barely did himself.

"Are you alright?"

Blue eyes lifted to look at Iwao. The man was watching him patiently, with those emerald eyes shining in uncanny understanding. "I guess…" he said.

"Hold on to him." Iwao said before he walked back to the back of his cell and lay on the bench. "Hold on to him like hell… because one day he will die or you will die- like everyone and everything else…" he breathed deeply, "… but if you hold on, maybe you won't die with regret in your heart."

Regret. The word echoed in his mind as Naruto finally got to his feet. "Is that what you did?... with Eiji?"

Though he waited there for a long moment, Iwao made no move, nor did he say anything more, so he took it as his cue to leave. There had been so much that he realized that he had never told Sasuke- so much that he wanted to say in those moments that everything seemed to be going down the rings of hell and that now he remembered all the reasons why he never did. What they had did not and _could_ not fit into words.

"Thank you." he said as he left- for all it mattered to Iwao, because it sure mattered to _him_.

The door closed behind him and started to walk down the corridors of the Tower. It was over now- really over, finally, thankfully, against the odds- and the only mirror left was the one reflecting his soul. It came as no surprise that he found Sasuke's face looking back at him behind the glass.

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And that's my Chapter-before-last. ^.^ I hope that you guys enjoyed and are happy with my proposed closure. Though Iwao (and Eiji) are my created characters, hopefully they didn't seem forced into the story or became a distraction… Thank you all who read this. See you next chapters~!

Kisses!

Ja,

Maria


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: Hey, mina-san! Last chappie… again… man, the angst of finishing a story and going through writing detox… O.O Thank you ALL who have read the story, my huge, loving thanks to you guys who took the time to review and make my face hurt with happy smiles. I'll miss you all… T.T Thanks also to the people who gave my story and me a home under their Favorites, whether you reviewed or not. I keep forgetting to say that. Gomen~!

My anon readers: **XoX **– Thank you! I couldn't update sooner because me, RL and my muse were caught in a fatal threeway match, but I hope you like! ^.^ **Mo –** I'm so happy you liked! Thank you so much for the words of praise. Maybe the idea that I intend to haunt and pester you with more stories will dispel any sadness that comes with this ending… it does take the edge of my upcoming withdrawal. Lol ;-) Thank you for reading and I hope that the epilogue leaves you satisfied. ^.^ 3

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the manga, or this is what the story would look like. I DO have a beef with RL at this time now, so, in the words of Antony Bourdain "Where's MY knife- maybe _I_ want to get _stabby_." ^.^

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The Sun and the Rainfall

_Closed Doors and Open Windows_

Waiting was never easy- not even when one was waiting for something good. It tried the patience and ate away at the person waiting, because it seemed that nothing could fill that empty space until time moved and arrived at that good thing- or even the _bad_ thing- and nothing could occupy the heart of mind that anxiously longed for an end to the wait.

Sasuke had never been the patient type to begin with, so Tsunade's barrage of questions and painstaking examination was driving him crazy. All he wanted to do was see Naruto- he _needed _to see him. Feelings that he had developed- or realized- over time, before all this, and all the feelings that had surfaced in that raw way, while he had no memories- it was all inside him. The things that he had done to Naruto, with Naruto and all the ways that Naruto had reacted to him as he had been trying to put the pieces of his mind's puzzle back together- it was all inside him. Everything- every moment, every tear, every touch- was there, overwhelming him with that single need.

"I said I'm fine." He said for what seemed to be the _gazillionth_ time.

Tsunade looked up from her notepad and held three fingers in front of his face. "How many."

Sasuke had a few suggestions about what she could go do with them and let him be. "Three. My name is Uchiha Sasuke. Kakashi's needs to teach his _Ninken_ the proper places for their feces. Naruto is a Dobe." The last one almost brought a smile to his face, that his annoyance fought away. "I _remember_ everything. _Everything_."

The blonde woman blinked. "Where's the fire?" she asked with a small smile.

_Kami_, he hated that smile. It was somehow _knowing_. Or he was being paranoid. What were the chances… "I need to talk to Naruto." He heard himself say and his hand almost flew to his mouth to stop whatever had possessed him to say something like that. Out loud that was. But now it was out there. Black bangs fell over his face as he stooped his head a little. "I need… to explain… things." He tensed up. "I…"

"You made a mess?" Kakashi asked from the back of the room. "Color me surprised."

_Shit_. Yes, he had forgotten that Kakashi was in there too. "If you want to see a real mess, wait until we have our talk." He said a little too dangerously. Really, he had not appreciated all the ways that the Copy Ninja- as he realized _now_- had had fun at his expense the past week. In a way he was thankful to him- because it seemed that Kakashi had always believed that he was going to be okay, that even in his fragile state, he could deal with _life_- but he would never say it out loud. "Any day now."

"Alright, alright. You had me the moment you mentioned Kakashi's _Ninken_." Tsunade interjected. "Which reminds me." She turned to Kakashi. "Pick up after your ninja puppies, Kakashi. That's an order."

Kakashi's visible eye turned up into a crescent, suggesting a smile. "Ma, ma… people got so serious all of the sudden." He said, hands in pockets. It was hard to read a man like him, but Sasuke could swear that he seemed relieved. "With your permission, Gai has been pestering me about a challenge for days. I'm past due in dealing with the ridiculous."

The Godaime smirked and nodded. "Don't let him up the stakes too much. He has a mission coming up in a couple of days." He cautioned mock-seriously, for all it was worth. Gai knew no other way than the ridiculous when it came to stakes. Soon as the Jounin was out of the window her eyes softened on the dark boy. "I'll get Naruto now, ne?"

Nod. Simple, slow nod. A nod that required control and careful manipulation of his muscles in order to appear calm and collected. He had already said too much, shown too much- perhaps to everyone _but_ Naruto. "Thank you." He said quietly.

The moment that the door closed behind him, the room felt too empty, too constricting, too full of something thick that was not air. Yes, that was the fabled _cold_ _feet_ he had heard about. The reason why said feet were now past cold and straight into freezing was that he had _always_, without fail, messed up when he had tried to say the _right things_. It was why he had resorted to stop _saying_ and just show through _actions_. They were supposed to speak louder than words, right?

_Wrong_.

In the past almost-two weeks, he had watched Naruto struggle- and though he didn't understand what he had been struggling with back then, he knew now. _Knew_, not merely understood. Words were necessary, because actions were not always possible. Words were necessary, because they explained the actions. Actions served to demonstrate and attest to the truth of the words. For all he had done, there had been no words to assert the notions and- yes- emotions behind them. That's why Naruto didn't know. That's why he had been scared. It had all been his fault.

The door creaked open and Naruto's tan face peeked from outside, eyes wide and startled, like he could not quite grasp what he was seeing- even though all that was there was Sasuke, whom he had seen in any way that one person can possibly see another. Suddenly, he frowned, closed the door and… knocked. "Uh… It's me…" he announced- needlessly, redundantly- in a strangely high-pitched voice.

Sasuke blinked confused and arched brow. What was _that_ about? It hit him. _Nervous… he's nervous…_ "Usuratonkachi, get your ass in here." He called out, with some annoyance for good measure.

Naruto burst in this time, finger pointing, shoulders tense and up, face livid. "I was being _considerate_!" he yelled._ "_You watch your mouth, Teme!"

Now, that was more like it. Whether it had been awkwardness or somehow he had nurtured a feeling of normalcy in their typical insults, it didn't matter. What mattered was that Naruto was acting like himself- that was all he had wanted. "Or else..?" he smirked, relaxing a little to their practiced repartee.

"Or else-!" the blonde started, but then stopped. Cobalt blue eyes set on him guarded and all the nervousness was back. "Baa-chan said you are okay…" he said quietly, standing several feet away, even in that small room. "… Are you?"

Even though Naruto hadn't moved physically, something about him had pulled back. Instinctively, his voice came out very soft. "You don't have to keep that distance now…" he said and noticed that those eyes widened a bit. "I remember. Everything."

A curtain of gold fell over those cobalt eyes as he looked down, hands curling to tight fists at his sides. The Uchiha's brows creased a little. It was that same aura from down at the cells- that he couldn't explain then and couldn't make sense of now. Because, just like he had never said anything, neither had Naruto. Maybe both of them had been waiting for the other to take the first step and perhaps, just as likely, both of them knew that actually _saying _something- naming an emotion, putting a tag on their bond, asking certain questions- would change _everything_. And neither of them had been ready for that leap of faith into the Unknown- into something that was no longer undefined and nameless. Was he ready now? Had this been enough of a scare? And what was more important, was Naruto ready to hear those things?

With a deep sigh, he stepped known from the bed and took a few careful steps towards him. "Listen, I…" he started and there were some many verbs with which to end that sentence. _I am here. I am back. I missed you. I- _"I'm sorry." He said quickly, interrupting his own train of thought. He knew where it was going. He knew what he was feeling.

"For what?" Naruto asked then, rather tersely, eyes blazing as their eyes locked. "The fact that you _lied_ back then? For what you _put_ us through the past few weeks?" his voice cracked a little and he shook his head. "…_Kami_, it seems like years…"

Sasuke walked up to him and stood inches away- a gently sway of the body away from touch. "I'm sorry." He said again. And he meant it- meant it so honestly that the words didn't seem adequate, even as apologies had never come easily to him and he had only offered then to Naruto and loved ones long since dead.

Maybe Naruto had been too lost in reliving that helpless feeling to hear him or, maybe, 'I'm sorry' really didn't quite cut it. "You could have died." He said more quietly. "You were inches from a Iwao's blade when I found you."

Did he really have a defense to this? "I knew that you wouldn't listen. We had a mission and what mattered was that we finished the job." he fended, very much aware that he was just falling into an argument that he could not possibly win, even if he were to be proven right. It was one of those times that it wasn't who was right or wrong that mattered, but who would bridge the gap-that emotional chasm that was separating them. Reason didn't do that.

"Does it _matter_ that my trust in you took a dent because of that?" he asked tersely and continued, in spite of whatever he saw on the Uchiha's face. "How can I trust you after this? You _lied_ to me, when I've put my life and", he gulped, took a deep breath and nodded as if confirming for himself what he was about to say next, "my _heart_ in your hands."

Charcoal eyes widened. _Heart_. What had he just said? _My heart in your hands._ Those hands were just too callous and rough to hold something so precious, yet, selfishly, the thought came to him that, if he had it, he was unwilling to give it up.

"Why will next time be different?" Naruto asked, but it was a definite accusation. "What if it's not?"

Sasuke felt himself freeze in place- something inhumanly cold spread through him, suspending his body and mind from the inside. All he could do was try to hold on to the warmth of those words- _My heart in your hands-_ in order to find his voice."What are you talking about?"

Naruto straightened his body and looked down. "I think that we should not partner up for missions anymore."

What..? But if he weren't there... What if something were to _happen_ and he wasn't _there_? Who would _protect_ the Dobe- _his_ Dobe- from the world out _there_? No one could do it like he did- he would _die _to protect him. Thought that notion seemed to be the problem currently. "You don't mean that." he said simply. He _couldn't_ mean that.

This time, the blonde's gaze met his, unwavering and certain. "I think that we should not partner up for missions anymore."

Again, those words- this time without hesitation. This time he really appeared to mean it. And he _couldn't_ mean it. It couldn't be- because, though they had never said anything about actually, _officially_, being together, they were supposed to _live _together and _die_ together. That old feeling crept inside him again- the feeling that, if he was not there, terrible things would happen, same as that night that he had lost everything. That's what happened to people who took their eyes off what was precious to them- they_ lost_ it, lost _everything_ that they could never even afford to lose. That was _not_ going to be him. _Not again... No_.

Slowly, charcoal eyes blinked back from panic to stillness. "No." he said calmly.

The blonde openly frowned at him, annoyed and frustrated. "'No' is not argument enough, Teme." He just about chastised. "How do you think that missions are going to work if I have to worry about you every time I lose sight of you?"

The response to that was so simple in his mind that it took a real Usuratonkachi not to see it. Timorously, his eyes fell on a vague spot on the wall over Naruto's left shoulder. "How do you think missions will go, if I have to wonder whether you're alive or not?" Sasuke argued quietly. "You don't get it, Dobe… Until now, if we were not on a mission _together_, it was because one of us was stuck in Konoha- recovering or running errands for Baa-chan. But still, the other left with the knowledge that the one staying behind was safe as it gets, all things considered."

Naruto's startled eyes were wide. "… You would _worry_ about me?"

Maybe a punch would beat the _stupid_ out of him. Or at least he'd have the _concussion_ to blame for the twaddle currently spewing from the mouth that he had kissed countless times- that tasted like ramen and something sweet that he could never place, but found intoxicating, even as he had never liked sweets. "Yes, Dobe, I would worry about you." He confirmed.

Naruto looked at him surprised- so much so, in fact, that it hurt. Did the Dobe really know so _little_ of him or should he, perhaps, turn the mirror around and face the fact that maybe he had never done _enough_ to demonstrate his feelings- his appreciation, his worry... and certainly not his deep affection for the blonde. _Desire_. That one he'd be a fool to doubt considering all the unwholesome ways that he had demonstrated it the last few months. Then again the Dobe had been proven oblivious to the obvious often enough. _Need_. No, Naruto had no idea how much he needed him. It was frightening and Sasuke didn't want to scare him or for his love to become fetters, if-

… _Love_?

Sasuke blinked against the vertiginous sensation that overtook him at the notion of that particular feeling and staggered back a little, fumbling for the railing of his bed. _Love? _Naruto was immediately next to him, steadying him. That _was_ what Naruto had been doing for him through the years and had been his salvation- giving him a beacon, a purpose, a rival, a lover… and finally a home.

"Oy, Teme, what's wrong?" he called, sounding alarmed, then, when the Uchiha shook his head, he released his grip on him and sighed. "You should lie down... we can talk later."

Those cobalt eyes were filled with concern and affection. _Home… Love_. Were they really such _foreign_ concepts, when he had spent his whole life missing those very things- when he _knew_ for a fact what he was feeling each time he'd look at or even _think_ of him? It had been there, waiting to be uttered, but he never did- because then it would be real and it could be denied or taken from him. No matter how many times he would call Naruto an idiot, he knew that he was much, much worse.

His gaze fell on the floor. "Naruto..." he started in that low voice, feeling honestly overwhelmed, "I..."

The other boy tilted his head curiously. "Ne, nanda?"

_Kami_, he was pissing him off. "If you can shut up for a _moment_, I'll tell you." he said irritably, even though he had no clue what he had intended to say. Confess? Assure? Perhaps there was a right answer in situations like these- maybe even a healthy middle ground- but he had always existed in such extremes that he'd never know the proverbial _medium_. Thus, he settled for what was true."You are... very important to me." dark eyes flickered to the blonde for a moment- it looked like he was holding his breath. "No... you are _precious_ to me."

Something very powerful, very urgent registered in the blue orbs, darkening a little under golden clouds. "Sasuke…" he said and paused, apparently unsure as to how he should follow that up.

"You didn't seem to know." He explained, without having been asked. "While I didn't have my memories… you seemed uncertain… about everything." Sasuke looked down again- because he didn't know if this was the right time or the right words. "I didn't understand then. Now I do. And I don't like it." He inhaled deeply and gathered whatever nerve he had left in order to lock eyes with Naruto once more. "I _want_ you to know."

This time, he blinked- more than surprised. In fact, he had that stupid expression that spoke volumes about how he wasn't sure if this was a dream. "… Sasuke…" he said tightly- disarmingly, because there was fear in his voice. If this was a dream, then maybe the Uchiha hadn't remembered, perhaps never _would_ remember and all of this was a cruel figment of his slumber, a play of his innermost wish. A dream, overcast with the fear of that terrible willingness to flirt with death that had accompanied the Uchiha for most of his life. "If you do this again and die-"

"I won't die for you." Sasuke cut him and smiled a little at Naruto's part-relieved, part-disbelieving, part-unreasonably-miffed look- because he had finally found the right answer. For both of them. "I will _live _for you."

The way that those cobalt eyes widened painfully and shimmered with emotion- the ever-open windows to his soul, through which he would always see the better parts of himself- closed the door to darkness and all those asinine thoughts- that he was a single being, capable of his own choices. Without Naruto he was _half_- painfully half and cropped and incomplete. When Naruto breathed, he breathed and his last breath would surely be when the blonde died. Until then, though- and he could promise no longer than that and mean it- he would live. Until then, he had a _reason_ to live, manifested in tan skin and golden hair and summery smiles.

Sasuke pulled Naruto to him suddenly, crushing his body against his, kissing him deeply and hungrily. His tongue and lips moved in familiar strokes that they had learned together. The only way he had ever known how to kiss, was kissing Naruto. The only mouth, the only lips, the only taste- only _his_ and he would have it no other way. The only way he knew how to pleasure someone was the way he had discovered with Naruto. And he used all his skill, all he could recall that the blonde enjoyed about a kiss to show him that he was there – _all there_- now. It was not a dream- it was better than a dream, because it was _real_.

Even as Naruto was responding to the kiss almost desperately, hanging on to the sensation seemingly for dear life, it took several moments for him to realize what was happening- that it _was _happening. It hit him then, _really_ hit him, that Sasuke was back. One arm curled across Sasuke's back, securing him in place possessively, his other hand combing through the silky raven hair for a moment before clutching on to several strands rather painfully as the kiss became more forceful.

Had they been in a more private setting, this would be getting very fast and quite irrevocably out of control right about then, but, as it were, the blonde was the first to push away and gasp for some semblance of breath. Tan hands rested on his chest. Naruto jumped for a moment, hands moving away only slightly, eyes shooting up to his in wonder, before placing his hands back on the pale skin. Had he never realized how fast and hard his heart beat in the aftermath of a kiss like that? Probably not, because by the time either of them was in any position to start noticing anything, they were both spent and their vitals slowly drifting back to normal.

A small smile played on his lips at the sight of Naruto's intrigued face. "I lost my memory, but what I felt was there… I just couldn't understand it." He said a little raspily- but it felt good. Words like those were meant to be said and heard, not help captive in the confines of one's chest. "Congratulations on ruining me for any woman."

The blonde smiled uncertainly for a moment, before his expression became troubled again. "And what if you _never_ remembered?" he asked, mostly thinking out loud. "What if-?"

Sasuke took a deep breath at that, then uttered his next words very casually, bellying their importance. "If I never remembered my past, I'd just have to learn new ways to love you all over again…"

"What do you…?" he began to ask but his voice trailed off. Naruto watched him somewhat taken aback, but unable to calculate how serious he was. And just like many times that they had found themselves at the threshold of revelation, he didn't entirely understand what had been said, but tried to top it with conviction. "Well, _I_ bet that if that same thing had happened to _me,_ _I_'d have gotten the _nerve_ to approach you a lot _sooner_."

One brow raised in clear disbelief- and yes, some annoyance, because everything between then would turn into a contest… and he hated- absolutely _hated _to lose. Mature much? "Right after you were done _mooning_ over _Sakura-chan_."

"Teme!" Naruto yelled. That was the size of the argument.

It was funny and familiar, but he still felt too much, too raw, too close to the surface. That's why his voice softened as he suggested, "How about we hope to _never_ find out, Dobe?"

Surprise. A nod. Then the blonde folded his arms in mock-contemplation. "There _has_ to be some kind of _reckoning_ for what you put me through, though." He said idly.

It was an offer to turn the page. Naruto would be the one to offer and he would always take it. "How about I let you top tonight? … No resistance."

Tonight he felt especially generous- and he knew he'd pay for it in the morning in _very _physical ways. Because Naruto would heal extremely fast, thanks to the Kyuubi. _He_, on the other hand, did not. Now wasn't _that _reckoning? Wasn't that- _Love...?_ He seemed to use the word much more easily than he could have guessed. It was an extremely powerful word, but not a hard one. Yet even as a child he had never been one to say things like that verbally. Could he do it now? Start over, push past habits and leave himself open to hurt- _all_ for Naruto, _just_ for Naruto?

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment and felt Naruto's inquiring stare on him- alert and curious as to what was on his mind, slightly mistrustful of his thought process when left to his own devices. It all made him smile, in spite of himself- mainly because the blonde was usually right- and shook his head, dismissing any concern. They were as different as the sun can be from the rainfall, yet ever entwined in this changing scenery that was the core of their lives.

"Deal."

Charcoal eyes- dark as the darkest clouds of a stormy weather and quiet coal in which a flame is asleep but alive- snapped up to cobalt blue- bright as the most open skies and the calmest seas- in surprise. "Hn?"

Naruto smirked and took his hand, pulling him along as he moved to exit the room. "And remember." He shot a quick, but meaningful look over his shoulder. "_No_ resistance."

A frown- just because that was what the blonde expected. Yet strange as the notion of such surrender was, for someone like him, he allowed a sheepish smile when Naruto looked away. Thick or thin, come hell or high waters, under the sun or in the rainfall, he trusted him. He loved him. He really, really did.

_I love you_. He thought at the boy that was still pulling him along, making threats and promises for a night that he had been longing for as long as he could remember and even when he didn't. Sasuke smiled to himself nervously. Like much else with the Naruto, it was a powerful truth, but not a particularly difficult admission. So he resolved to _tell_ him- _I love you_.

Maybe not tonight, but he would _definitely_ tell him.

* * *

And so ends this story. Thank you all for reading and supporting my writing- it's been a pleasure replying to all of you and a more so hearing from you. I will leave you with what I hope is a satisfying conclusion to this and the promise to get to the oneshots that will wrap everything up and cover the future.

Tons of love and kisses to all~!

Ja!

M.


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